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Posted

I just don't understand, my ex dumped me and said he wants us to be friends as he finds me such a kind caring person and he still wants to be a part of my life. I went no contact because it was so hard for months, I've got talking to him again but he's withdrawn, he said he'd speak to me online the other day and we have but most of the time I'm the one initiating the conversation, most of the time I'm trying to coax a conversation out of him. It hurts so badly and I don't know what to do, I want to be a part of his life but it's like he doesn't even care for me as a person anymore. He's not interested in my life.

 

I don't know what to do, I don't have any proper friends and I suffer from social anxiety and he made me feel like he could see colour again, like I was actually living. Now I just can't cope with life anymore, my heart feels torn and I feel so lost and alone, I just went to end myself. I don't know what to do, I want him in my life but it hurts so much. I'm no good to anyone.

Posted

Its never healthy to place your halpiness on someone other then you. Go back no contact as you obviously still have feelings for him. How you feel right now is not permanent and you can alwayas improve your life

Posted

You cannot be friends. That's something you have to come to terms with. The reason you want to be friends is because you want him in your life, unfortunately, you can't until you feel nothing for him.

 

The fact that he is not initiating contact is because you are broken up and he's not interested in you that way anymore. "Friends" was just his way appeasing you and relieving his guilt.

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Posted
I just don't understand, my ex dumped me and said he wants us to be friends as he finds me such a kind caring person and he still wants to be a part of my life. I went no contact because it was so hard for months, I've got talking to him again but he's withdrawn, he said he'd speak to me online the other day and we have but most of the time I'm the one initiating the conversation, most of the time I'm trying to coax a conversation out of him. It hurts so badly and I don't know what to do, I want to be a part of his life but it's like he doesn't even care for me as a person anymore. He's not interested in my life.

 

I don't know what to do, I don't have any proper friends and I suffer from social anxiety and he made me feel like he could see colour again, like I was actually living. Now I just can't cope with life anymore, my heart feels torn and I feel so lost and alone, I just went to end myself. I don't know what to do, I want him in my life but it hurts so much. I'm no good to anyone.

 

My ex did the same thing 3 weeks ago - he said he still wanted to "hang out", still have me in his life, he just didn't love me, never did. It hurt bad. He did it in a 5 min phone call then proceeded to go party with his buddies on a Saturday night. I was devastated. Felt useless, betrayed, unworthy, the whole nine yards. I felt as though life was not worth living, I didn't want to go on.

 

That's when I got angry! I thought about all the times he had hurt me before. The lies, his addiction, his attempts to cover it all up. I thought about this whole "friends" thing and called him on his BS. Haven't heard from him since.

 

Truth is, they don't actually want to be "friends". You no longer serve a purpose to them. It hurts like a mf'er, but they never actually saw you as a friend.

 

It's ok to get angry, feel it out. It's ok to miss something that you thought was there, we all make mistakes. It's ok to be sad for a while, but don't EVER think you cannot deal with this. Don't EVER think that one guy is the be all and end all to your life.

 

You have the control. Not him.

 

You can make changes.

 

The following quotes have helped me immensely:

 

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

 

"You cannot change the past, but you CAN rewrite the future."

 

Social anxiety is tough, I suffer from PTSD and panic disorder myself, often associated with social situations. If you need to, go see your doc and talk to them about therapy/meds. It's hard, but it's a step in the right direction.

 

You can do it. Just gotta dig in and get dirty.

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