chrilada12 Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 So i have been reading these forums quite consistently and found some good advice, however I have been dealing with my own relationship problems and hoping you guys could help. I have been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half. In the beginning (first year) it was great, she would always be chasing me, doing all those nice things etc. Eventually, I found some things I didn't like that involved her ex, it was nothing serious and she was able to prove everything. However, even though she proved nothing was going on, it made me become super insecure. I started questioning everything and my whole attitude changed. I felt like i didn't have control. I started bringing up her ex more and more, always asking if she loved me, stupid insecure things like that. She then started changing a bit and wasn't as affectionate towards me and stopped really investing as much into the relationship. When i noticed this happening I started to completely stop asking my insecure questions and tried to be myself again. Thing between her and I are good now and she started becoming more affectionate and everything. It's just not the same, I dont feel that chase from her as much anymore, she always says she loves me and always wants to hang out, talks about moving in together, being together forever etc. It just doesnt feel the same though, like she is almost a little too comfortable and lost some of that initial spark because of that rough patch of arguing. My question is basically if there is a way to bring that back from her and have her chase me again? I dont want her to feel insecure about the relationship, just to look at me again as a man with ultimate value, respect and attraction, (I just want that power back)? Or is this just what happens after a while in a relationship. (This is my longest relationship to date, all my previous ones had pretty much remained in the honeymoon phase until we broke up). - One last thing, I have though about focusing more on myself, (new career, new hobby, meeting new people) to raise my value and try and raise interest level. Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading!
ConstantVoyager Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 You're in a relationship. The "chase" part is over. Do you chase her? She's with you. She loves you. That's ultimately better than the chase. Relax and enjoy it. 2
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