whatdreamsmaycome Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Just a quick summary - I was in a relationship with someone who works in the same company, but different departments. He turned out to be a "player", and I was completely duped and suckered by him (I thought he was sincere). The way he ended the relationship was a bit traumatizing, and the way he went on to flirt with girls half his age right in front of me, without out a care in the world after discarding me so trivially, continues to haunt me. Especially because I was very hesitant to date him in the first place as he's much older than me, already has teenage children, and can't have anymore. Logically, I do not want to be with him. I do not think fondly of him nor any of our "moments", it is pure anger... which is turning into bitterness. The same thoughts keep running over and over in my head. And the more I ignore him, the more I feel like he is purposefully trying to agitate me. For example, this morning, my desk faces a water dispenser that sits approx 30 feet away, but is in my direct line of site. He was there talking to a few other guys from my department (fine whatever, he can do what he wants). Then the guys leave, but he's still stands there, by himself. He glances around occasionally but mostly has his eyes and fingers glued to his phone. I just turned my chair around and started filing stuff away. 5 minutes later when I turn my chair back around thinking he must be gone, he is standing their with one of the women he was talking to before (and probably during) our relationship. I ended up just turning back around and filing more folders. I have to admit that even though it's been 3 months, I had a moment where I was sick to my stomach, and then all the anger and bitterness started seeping back in. So here's where I'm curious if this is making me physically sick... I had a tomato-based breakfast (16 hours ago), and then had coffee and half a sandwich for lunch (9 hours ago). I was going through my nightly ritual of checking fb, ig, and twitter when I started feeling really nauseous... I ended up heaving up breakfast (i know this because of the tomato-base, it was all red. I'm so worried now that this all might be taking a toll on my health. I am obviously stressed out, but lately I've been getting headaches, and now this? I don't know what to do... I'm so filled with anger towards this person (which is not like me!!), I've never felt this way before, and definitely not for this long - 3 months. Please help!
esteem-jam Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) Short answer: yes. You feel a rush of adrenaline, blood is pumping fast through you, increased heartbeat, heighened blood pressure - and during all this you (most people, in general) try to remain still, calm, telling yourself its alright, trying to "chew it up". But this is not alright, factual evidence (your pulse, and all else) shows something is up. And if during this you are not breathing good enough, you can faint. Solution: physical activities, medication, acquiring mental peace over that situation (talking it out, giving up hope), ... Coffee is a laxative. Edited October 18, 2013 by esteem-jam
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