travelonic Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 So here I am, a year after my ex-GF cheated on me, finally braving the waters to meet new people - and date at some point in the future hopefully. So I have had a profile on a dating website since then. Last month, a girl gave my profile a 5/5 starred rating, and tried to get in touch, which was a pain in the ass because of how the site is set up. We finally do get in touch, have been chatting for 1 month and 7 days now e-mailing each other back and forth. She has since deactivated her profile [and I followed in her footstep and did the same]. We really seemed to hit it off, though our conversations are not as frequent as we'd want because we are both very busy [she is a college senior, working on her senior thesis, and I work every day]. Her profile fully indicated that she was looking to date. In my last e-mail to her, I thought it'd be cool if we met in person. This is the replyI ot in reply to that specific idea : As for meeting... Honestly, things have gotten a little weird for me over the past couple of weeks, especially with my personal relationships. I mean, maybe meeting as friends would be fine, but I'm really not going to be in a place to date probably for the rest of the semester, and I don't want to lead you on by some miscommunication. So, at least for now, I think I'm going to have to say no on meeting, just because things are emotionally out of whack with me, not because you said or did something wrong. I'm sorry. Being the dumbass I am, I have no idea how to properly interpret this. Part of me is thinking "friend zone". Another part of me - larger part of me than that which thinks the former - thinks that the dating aspect of things would legitimately need to be held off because of the period of time, all the stuff going on... I mean, seriously, senior thesis as I recall with friends I know basically became "in hermit mode - don't bother me or I hiss like a cat and flee back to my cave to finish." The "things have gotten a little weird for me over the past couple of weeks, especially with my personal relationships" part however has me puzzled.
ClemsonTigers Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Have you SEEN this person? You said you "emailed" and met through a profile but you didn't make it clear you absolutely know this is a real person and not some lonely grandmother living in the wilderness or even some jokester dude somewhere. I think it's a good rule to never call someone you haven't met in person a boyfriend or girlfriend...especially to the exclusion of other dating opportunities. I know it's been awhile since you had your heart broken but it sounds like an ill-fated attempt to get int he saddle again with an unavailable person over the internet. Smells a bit like a fear of intimacy. I've been there....best remedy, force yourself to be vulnerable to new (real life) relationships and date MULTIPLE people before settling down with one. Keep the friendship if you want....but start pursuing other more available options immediately. If this one is real and is ever going to work...she wants you to wait...you need to be in a healthier place for that to happen anyway. You don't have to announce anything or respond other than to say, "I understand" and back off.
gaius Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 What a weirdo that she doesn't want to meet you after all this time. Either that or shes lying to you about something and meeting might expose whatever it is. A good lesson not to trust any woman that takes the initiative.
tinktronik Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 I would probably interpret this as meaning she has gotten herself entangled with some other emotional relationship, and has friend-zoned you. That or she's faked up a profile.
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