Just Visiting Posted December 8, 2004 Posted December 8, 2004 Hi everyone; I am hoping someone can give some insight as I need to do some venting. I started dating someone about a month ago. We were introduced by a mutual friend about a year ago. At that time, we both weren't ready for a relationship, as we were still getting over a previous one. My current bf has a four year old son with his ex. And him and the mother have been co-parenting. Since we started seeing each other, we have been joined at the hip. We both have so so many things in common, and he has a lot of qualities that I am looking for. He has expressed the same. Even his son and I get along great. The concern is that my previous relationship was with a man who shared two children with someone. I was fine and very supportive of the situation. To make a long story short, I found out that he was sneaking between us, and that he wanted to get back with his ex. Once I found out, I broke it off and was completely heartbroken. During our relationship, he always said that he was going to be upfront of the situation, and that he sees us together for a long time to come. At first I was hestitant, but as time went on, I came to trust his words. To find later on that his words were just words.....I was devastated. My bf is currently in mediation in regards to his son. I accepted him and his son, but I am having misgivings over the relationship with his ex. I guess you can say I am experiencing "deja vu" from my previous relationship, with the current one. My bf says the same things that my ex did, (I will be open with u, I see us together for a long time) and I am scared to get hurt again. I have been thinking of telling my bf that I need to get some breathing space. If we are not working or at school, we are together at his apartment. I am not sure if I am paranoid or what? LOL....has anyone else been in this type of situation? Thanks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 8, 2004 Posted December 8, 2004 Tell him how you feel. Tell him the entire story - what happened to you, and how it affected you and how it affects you to this day. Tell him that you are afraid of it happening again. I'd also tell him that if you need 'breathing room' that you mean literal 'breathing room' - some time to yourself - not to get away from him necessarily - but to just have some 'you' time. I'm sure as a parent he'd understand that!
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