Fashionchiefa Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I have known him since i was 13. I was pretty unpopular all throughout school but he was always so nice to me. I had the hugest crush on him all through middle school. Freshman year he asked me to homecoming. Was surprising because hes a "jock" and I guess I was an "emo" if you want to call it that. But we got a long really well. We dated up until junior year. In junior year my best friends parents took her out of school because she was dating another girl. I never got to see her. I was really depressed and lonely and just going through way too much. I felt like he was never there for me. He always had to go to games. And parties after games. And fundraisers on weekends. And i was just always alone idk. I started going to different guys for attention. I ended up sleeping with this whole clique of boys. Looking back on it they were so gross and i was so stupid. I just want to kill myself whenever I think about it. But i cheated on him and he found out. When he confronted me I was so cold to him. Told him I just didn't care and didn't want him and to go away. I was so ashamed I couldn't face him. After that i dropped out of high school and got my GED. I moved across the country to go live with my aunt who owns a beauty salon. I enrolled in cosmetology school and now I work for my aunt. One night I decided to stalk him on google. Found out through his twitter that he actually went to college in my city. I immediately messaged him and asked to meet up We have been "together" ever since. We decided he should move in his sophomore year. The only time he doesn't spend the night night with me is when he has road games/family visits. Even when he goes to parties he comes home. But he says he doesn't want to date me due to my past indiscretions. Not that he doesn't want to date me but that he doesn't want to make any promises to me or put "labels" on our relationship. He told me i could sleep with other guys if i wanted too. I told him i wouldn't. And i haven't. I only want him. I'm not sure if he sleeps with other girls. Me and him are very active so i don't think so. But when i go to his school there is so many girls who are all over him I am not sure what to think. I just love him so much. And I could keep doing this forever. As long as he will come come to me i'll be happy. But he is a D-1 athlete. This is his senior year. And everyone is positive that he will get drafted. Probably not for millions but for a good amount of money. He is going to be set for life. And he is excited. But i'm not in his plans. He talks about the money and the house hes gonna buy. But not the house that WE are gonna buy. And I fear that once he gets drafted he is gonna leave me. Forever. For some model or something. I would do anything to be with him. I truly love him and I can't stomach the idea of being with anyone else. He is it for me. But idk what to do.
Author Fashionchiefa Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 And he really is a good boyfriend. He endorses this athletic program and he's made decent money. He pays all the bills. He is always buying me little gifts. And he tells me I don't have to touch my wallet around him. He is so sweet. But like why does he do that stuff when he doesn't even want to be with me? He must want me right?
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