Messed up second date?

[bulls42]

Okay...so this girl and I met through my mom's friend debbie and she is debbie's niece...she is a nurse and I'm a teacher both 28 both looking for long term relationship...she saw my picture and gave her aunt my number and in turn my mom gave me the number to call her...so i call her and we talk and text for a week everyday before meeting at a restaurant on saturday night...we get there i ask her u like what u see she says ur good and i tell her the same...

 

The dinner goes great we talk learn more about each other at the end she goes my friends are meeting up would you like to come with me now normally id say no its okay but i figured go and make an impression...i go with her i converse with her friends and they like me one calls me lou diamond philips pretty good complimentand as i walk the girl to her car she turns and kisses me and says i smell good, i say to her do u wanna go to a soccer game next saturday night and she says yes...so we talk again all week and call twice and then saturday rolls around and she comes to my apt and we go to game together and again she says my friends r meeting up in ny do u wanna go i say sure...

 

We go i meet even more friends its going great but i drink a little to much...we get bak to friends apartment and stay there and as were kissing i feel sick go to bathroom and throw up...she cleans up for me and says its fine but as we sit back down i tell her i want her to be my gf and my ex girlfriend doesnt compare to her shes great oh and i say ive been with 22 girls too...next day wake up shes fine we meet my friend for breakfast that goes well in the process of going there i tell her how i asked my ex gf to move with me and she said no a month ago and she tells me how i guy she liked never talked to her and it annoyed her and then as i say goodbye to her i say dani am i saying by dani or gf and she says dani for now but i want to be a gf soon to u...

 

I call her and text her to make sure she gets home ok and she says yeah then i text her later that night and say r u busy and she says yes, next day i tell her have a good day at work and later on i tell her hows ur day going i just wanted to tell u ur beautiful she responds busy day hows ur day going i tell her good can i call u lata no response from her then i call her at like 8 and 930 then text her listen i apologize about this weekend i had fun i just said some dumb stuff i didnt mean then she text me next morning saying ohi passed out but ill text u later

 

I wait all day and get nothing then i call her at 10 leave her a message on voicemail saying again im sorry i really feel something here i understand if u dont then she text me 20 mins lata hey i had fun this weekend your fine your a great guy but im not sure what im looking for right now i text her back saying ok stay in touch id still like to c u sometime then i text her later quick question do u want a serious relationship or just hook up and then she text back serious relationship then i text her saying i have alot to offer if u gave me another chance im telling u u d b happy and that she was really nice and deserved only the best

 

I havent checked my phone cuz im to afraid of the response but what should i do next i mean i really feel she is the one and everyone tells me to let it go and move on but i cant and i know somehow someway i can get her back so please any advice??????????????????

 

btw just texted her now hey havent talked to her since last tuesday night and first contact to her since but has not responded...

Edited October 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Salvatore85]

After managing to read that wall of text somehow, I can see why she's not talking to you anymore. You're far too available and it freaked her out. You need to have a life of your own and things would've worked out naturally. Sorry dude, you blew it.

[aybc123]

Yeah sorry you messed this up bud, I think you could've got away with the throwing up in her friends apt but the drink is what did you in when it made you say all that **** about you wanting her to be your gf.

 

1) It comes off as needy and desperate after being on 2 dates

2) Drinking too much like that show a lack of self control which is minus points too (but not too bad)

3) You even texted too much in your apologies and explanations afterwards, although by that point there was probably no saving it.

4) You might have even survived all of that if it wasnt for the fact that her friends were around. Girls are really weird about friends, they want to be able to show you off and have their friends me jealous or approve of you in a way that guys just dont give a **** about. Chances are what put the nail in the coffin was one of her friends saying that you acted weirdly/ or needily.

 

She's pretty clearly blowing you off now and you need to just leave it to save some face, if i were you i'd just send a pretty honest text maybe even laughing at yourself a bit saying. "Ok i get it, i totally messed up that night, this will teach me not to drink and date . Anyway no hard feelings, catch you later" and leave it at that. She'll realise you're just a normal guy who drank too much and so wont talk about it with her girlfriends or aunt etc. But leave it now, this girl has already treated you far better than my ex of 2.5 years treated me when we broke up by continuing to talk to you but she will have limits, just understand that you blew it and theres no going back, but that it isnt a big deal.

 

Anyway look there's no need to feel bad, take positives from it:

 

1) A girl you were attracted to liked you enough to kiss you on the 1st date, and wanted subsequent dates, this means your game chat and looks (when sober) are good enough to do it again, maybe with someone even better.

2) You now know not to get seriously drunk in the first month or so of dating someone, just incase you do something silly that reduces the persons attraction for you.

 

Think of dating like this: When you start dating someone you start from 0, and everything you do adds or takes away from their attraction and attachment to you, after one and a half successful dates you had a +100 score maybe but throwing up was like a -20, telling her you wanted her to be your gf multiple times was another -20 same with that you are better than my ex (noone wants to hear that, it just makes people think youll say the same if they break up) -20, doing it in front of her friends was like a -60 and then each clingy text the days after was like -5. You see how this way you can erode the attraction you'd created? and end up in the negative.

 

If you'd been dating for a month and this happened you might be at +500 and acting the same way would've pissed her off, but shed have forgiven you for your stupidity.

 

Basically in the future just be careful when you're just starting to see someone, but its not the end of the world, get right back in the saddle and date some new people.

Edited October 18, 2013 by aybc123