SubliminalSessions Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) I have known a guy now for over a year now. We were pretty good friends, but more on the level of we'd hangout around other people together and not really 1 on 1. But, we still had a good friendship regardless. He'd refer to me as his 'little brother'. We didn't hang out 1 on 1 much because he is already married...and they were always together when me and his friends were together. We've had a great friendship, would go to awesome parties and just have so much fun whereever we went. He was like the 'party coordinator'. If something was going on...he was the person to call. The last time we hung out, he repeatedly told me how much he's glad to have me as a friend, and that I'm this and that and all that, etc. However, it was that same great night on the town...that things turned into disaster when he decided to act like a tough guy against a group of 3 maggots at an event center. He wanted to blather and babble at these fools while I had my back turned, and I felt that was stupid especially since they weren't even known. Well, it was going on right behind me, so I had to take a moment to intervene. Well, intervening didn't go well and they attacked me and then I attacked back and got in trouble for it. All for defending my friend and then myself. Well, when I was being taken away, my friend tried to make it seem like he had no involvement in it...despite what was mentioned above. As popular as he is with the establishment, he could have said something that would have prevented me from going through what will now be a lengthy court process I can imagine. Yet, he turned a blind eye...behind my back, and then I had to find out from club management what he said. It just angered me so much and I feel so hurt and betrayed. I met and talked with him the day after the incident...but that was like 3 weeks ago and I just can't bring myself to deal with him right now. He hasnt even bothered much to call and see how Im doing much either. Edited October 18, 2013 by SubliminalSessions
CC12 Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 He wanted to blather and babble at these fools while I had my back turned, and I felt that was stupid especially since they weren't even known. Well, it was going on right behind me, so I had to take a moment to intervene. So you intervened in a situation that had nothing to do with you? Well, intervening didn't go well and they attacked me and then I attacked back and got in trouble for it. All for defending my friend and then myself. Did your friend need you to defend him? Well, when I was being taken away, my friend tried to make it seem like he had no involvement in it...despite what was mentioned above. If you had to be "taken away" you were probably acting like a hotheaded ass. So, yeah, I can see why others around you chose to basically pretend they didn't know you. As popular as he is with the establishment, he could have said something that would have prevented me from going through what will now be a lengthy court process I can imagine. Yet, he turned a blind eye...behind my back, and then I had to find out from club management what he said. It's not his responsibility to explain your behavior to the establishment. Whatever happened that led to you being in a lengthy court process is your own fault. He hasnt even bothered much to call and see how Im doing much either. Maybe you should be the one making calls to see how people are doing and/or to apologize for getting too drunk and starting fights?
Author SubliminalSessions Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) So you intervened in a situation that had nothing to do with you? Did your friend need you to defend him? If you had to be "taken away" you were probably acting like a hotheaded ass. So, yeah, I can see why others around you chose to basically pretend they didn't know you. It's not his responsibility to explain your behavior to the establishment. Whatever happened that led to you being in a lengthy court process is your own fault. Maybe you should be the one making calls to see how people are doing and/or to apologize for getting too drunk and starting fights? Ugh, I should have known not to come online and discuss this. But, for the record...I didn't 'start' a fight and I was NOT too drunk (which doesn't even make sense, either you're drunk or you're sober). Plus, I have it down on paper to refute what you're saying...but my medical records aren't your business. Those people came into the bathroom all belligerent, my friend chose to come out the stall and confront them. I happened to be turned the opposite direction and was minding my own. He only confronted them because he KNEW I was there. FYI, I have NEVER been in a fight out in public (or privately for that matter) and this is after having gone to bars, clubs and parties for nearly 10 years in a plethora of states from Florida to DC to San Francisco and everything in between. I've gone alone most times and with groups or with a partner. NEVER do I start fights with people or even been in one for that matter, and if it does get heated, it doesn't turn physical. The last time I have even been in a fight of this magnitude was back in high school...and I learned my lesson from that and never went back. I'll agree I could have not intervened, and left him to his devices, but as a friend I felt what he was fussing over was petty. I wanted to remove him from the situation. I won't intervene for anyone again! Or atleast not someone like him who doesn't know when to shut the **** up and tries to be a tough guy when a bigger man is next to him. Plus, this SAME guy about a week prior to this incident, was mouthing off when we got home from a club that he "was almost going to whip these 2 big dudes ass". I happened to know 1 of the dudes personally for a long time and I told him, "you would have been on your own on that". Look up 'victim blaming'...because for someone who doesn't even know the whole story that's exactly what you're doing. And 1 more thing, the reason WHY my friend should have spoke up that would have changed the situation is because he should have mentioned right then and there that the people attacked me, he didn't even say that. That's why I reacted. Nobody has the right to put their hands on me, at that point...all level of sanity went out the window. And I kind of wonder if he may have had some ties to these people in some way, because he also sells (something I don't do or get involved in). I personally didn't know them. He had every bit as much a part in that altercation as I had. Edited October 18, 2013 by SubliminalSessions
CC12 Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 That's funny. I basically said, "Hey maybe you shouldn't have acted the way you did" and you responded to me in a pretty combative tone and saying how you were right and that you have paperwork and internet links to prove it. You do seem like a hothead. Also, that link you posted goes to a site that pertains to victims of relationship abuse, domestic violence, and rape. I do not think it applies to your "night on the town" where you chose to tussle with some strangers over your idiot friend. I'll agree I could have not intervened, That was my point.
Author SubliminalSessions Posted October 19, 2013 Author Posted October 19, 2013 That's funny. I basically said, "Hey maybe you shouldn't have acted the way you did" and you responded to me in a pretty combative tone and saying how you were right and that you have paperwork and internet links to prove it. You do seem like a hothead. Also, that link you posted goes to a site that pertains to victims of relationship abuse, domestic violence, and rape. I do not think it applies to your "night on the town" where you chose to tussle with some strangers over your idiot friend. That was my point. I know that, but I just wanted to post that article anyway because it was informative and could be used for ANY type of victim blaming. Basically saying, that the person somehow caused or deserved to be done a certain way, and that whatever the other people did that is wrong, is okay. But anyway...does anyone else care to answer the question? I mean...it's not that I need to have someone give me an answer, but I'm just wondering how others would have handled a friend like this. Is it worth sitting down and discussing or would you just not say another word and only use him for legal purposes (witness statement, etc.)
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