Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 so this is a good sign, today my ex texted me. we didn't talk about anything other than, she's willing to talk about things this weekend. i really don't know hows this gonna go after what we've been through, her hating me, saying she never want's me in her life again, blah blah blah. anyways, her wanting to talk is a major positive step. i'm trying to find the right words to get her back. i don't want to sound too pushy, or desperate. some of the things i'd like to tell her is "i've made mistakes with us, i've hurt you, i promise to try my best to make you happy, we've been apart for so long and i've learned my lessons, we have so much potential..." i'd really appreciate your advice, thanks!
Stealth3 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Did you chase after her or did this just happen out of the blue? How long since the bu?
Author Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Did you chase after her or did this just happen out of the blue? How long since the bu? 4 months since BU, i asked her to come back maybe 2 times, and she gave me the runaround. then i honestly started to resent her and she knew it, so we were enemies most of the time. then earlier this month i poured my heart out to her, we ended up fighting. haven't heard from her since, until today.
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Do what you think is best, but this has disaster written all over it. Disaster for you!!! Four months is not very long for learning and healing... 3
Author Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Do what you think is best, but this has disaster written all over it. Disaster for you!!! Four months is not very long for learning and healing... you really think so? i'm honestly still depressed, but not devastated as before. i want to have a heart to heart with her, and be smart about this. do you think its a good idea to pour my heart out to her? is it too soon?
organizedchaos Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 you really think so? i'm honestly still depressed, but not devastated as before. i want to have a heart to heart with her, and be smart about this. do you think its a good idea to pour my heart out to her? is it too soon? Hold your cards close to your chest. Let her do the talking. Don't expect everything to be resolved this weekend. Take it slow and see her several times before pouring your heart out to her again. 2
Author Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 i forgot to add, i was the one who wanted to talk to her earlier this month but she ignored me. now she's giving me the opportunity.
JDPT Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Oh I hope your ready to hit head on full force, brace yourself! 1
Author Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Oh I hope your ready to hit head on full force, brace yourself! why would you say that?
organizedchaos Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 i forgot to add, i was the one who wanted to talk to her earlier this month but she ignored me. now she's giving me the opportunity. Who BU with who? You've already poured your heart out to her so she knows how you feel. What are you planning to discuss? What's the BU story?
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 you really think so? i'm honestly still depressed, but not devastated as before. i want to have a heart to heart with her, and be smart about this. do you think its a good idea to pour my heart out to her? is it too soon? I wouldn't. I wouldn't even see her yet. Too soon. Wait 4 more months. What are you expecting to be different this weekend? Remember, women want a strong secure man. Are you that right now? Doesn't sound like it. Hey, I'm not either. But I know it and I would not go near my ex with a 100' pole right now. I really think this will end badly for you. Too soon!! 1
Author Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Who BU with who? You've already poured your heart out to her so she knows how you feel. What are you planning to discuss? What's the BU story? she broke up with me because i wasn't "the one."
JDPT Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Why? Would you pick on stitches on a healing wound for no apparent reason. We dumpees (including myself) neglect to acknowledge ourselves and always focus on the person who inflict all this pain in us. It's time to think about you and no one else but YOU. 1
organizedchaos Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 she broke up with me because i wasn't "the one." Then I don't get it. What is she giving YOU the opportunity to do this weekend? YOU should be giving HER the opportunity to reconcile. 1
Author Bandito Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I wouldn't. I wouldn't even see her yet. Too soon. Wait 4 more months. What are you expecting to be different this weekend? Remember, women want a strong secure man. Are you that right now? Doesn't sound like it. Hey, I'm not either. But I know it and I would not go near my ex with a 100' pole right now. I really think this will end badly for you. Too soon!! things are weird with her, one moment she hates me never wants to see me again. then the next she wants to try to work things out. like 3 weeks after we broke up we had sex, then went on a trip to disneyland the next day. its kinda off and on. but now, since its been awhile since we saw each other, and don't know what's going on in each others lives, i want to see whats up. i just want to see if anything has changed with her, maybe she thought twice about me.
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 things are weird with her, one moment she hates me never wants to see me again. then the next she wants to try to work things out. like 3 weeks after we broke up we had sex, then went on a trip to disneyland the next day. its kinda off and on. but now, since its been awhile since we saw each other, and don't know what's going on in each others lives, i want to see whats up. i just want to see if anything has changed with her, maybe she thought twice about me. No. She has changed nothing. She is merely: 1) Cake-eating 2) Easing her guilt 3) Bored 4) Horny This is ALL about her and NOTHING about you. You will get burned!! This is not confusing. This is not unique. This story has been played out millions of times. Don't be that guy. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 If you are trying "to find the right words to get your ex back", then you've already lost because you aren't in the right state of mind. It's not about conning or manipulating your ex, it's about being you and her deciding if she wants that. If you really try some sort of manipulation, it'll either a) blow up in your face now or b) blow up in your face in a month or two when she dumps you again. 2
JDPT Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 No. She has changed nothing. She is merely: 1) Cake-eating 2) Easing her guilt 3) Bored 4) Horny This is ALL about her and NOTHING about you. You will get burned!! This is not confusing. This is not unique. This story has been played out millions of times. Don't be that guy. Uh speaks the truth 2
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 honestly i think she's giving me the opportunity to put everything on the table and prove my love. but i've talked to ppl who know our situation... heres what they they said, she doesn't know what she wants, she always gives me mixed signals, she's like marilyn monroe, was only with joe dimaggio for the sex. etc.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 honestly i think she's giving me the opportunity to put everything on the table and prove my love. but i've talked to ppl who know our situation... heres what they they said, she doesn't know what she wants, she always gives me mixed signals, she's like marilyn monroe, was only with joe dimaggio for the sex. etc. I think you are walking into machine gun fire. 1
organizedchaos Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 honestly i think she's giving me the opportunity to put everything on the table and prove my love. but i've talked to ppl who know our situation... heres what they they said, she doesn't know what she wants, she always gives me mixed signals, she's like marilyn monroe, was only with joe dimaggio for the sex. etc. Dude. What? she broke up with me because i wasn't "the one." Why do YOU need to prove your love??? You've already confessed that and she broke up with you because she didn't think you're the one. What are you having to prove??? She should be proving to YOU that she made a mistake. Ugh, this is not going to go like you think. 1
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 idk what to do, this talk we're gonna have is going to be interesting though. i mean she never wanted to hear what i had to say for the past 3 months. i mean it was either completely ignoring me, or she telling me off. this is a complete 180 from what i'm use to.
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 Dude. What? Why do YOU need to prove your love??? You've already confessed that and she broke up with you because she didn't think you're the one. What are you having to prove??? She should be proving to YOU that she made a mistake. Ugh, this is not going to go like you think. i remember her saying "you always tell me how much you love me, but actions speak louder than words." i agree, i treated her badly and hurt her, then i go around a tell her i'm sorry, or whatever.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 idk what to do, this talk we're gonna have is going to be interesting though. i mean she never wanted to hear what i had to say for the past 3 months. i mean it was either completely ignoring me, or she telling me off. this is a complete 180 from what i'm use to. I would call this off. Say that something came up. You aren't ready for this at all. 2
Author Bandito Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 I would call this off. Say that something came up. You aren't ready for this at all. then i'd be labeled a flake. this is rare chance for me... i tell her straight up how i feel, and i'm still hurting from the break up. but i'm curious on how things are going with her too.
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