Mixed signals

[freebird1]

So I've been talking to a girl for a few weeks now, and I kind of like her. Her and I are in a league together so we do see other at least once a week.

 

She's made every effort to be around me when possible and we have been texting now for a while, so she has to know I'm interested. She's has also initiated so I kind of know she's interested too. And all of friends can kind of see it too lol.

 

But recently she's been changing her behavior, as in taking forever to respond to texts every now and then. I was hoping to meet up with her a few nights ago, and I was clearly hinting at it in my texts and she took forever to respond! I told her we could've met up, and she responded with "Another time". I also non-chalantly mentioned she could sleep at my place the last time we hung out as a group and she said she would next week (I mentioned it literally as she was walking out).

 

I would hate to stop pursuing over small logistical errors as we both do work and time is never really on our side. I also haven't formally asked her out yet, but did invite her out and she came (even though it was a clear logistical conflict on her end).

 

Any ideas?

[Mascara]

You need to ask her out on a PROPER date, because the way you're going about this all she's hearing is "booty call".

[freebird1]

Yes I do. But last night I wanted to grab dinner, the issue is that she works crazy hours so I thought why not dinner while she's at work.

 

How should I go about asking her now? I mean I haven't text her back since the "Another time" text.

[Mascara]

Pick up phone

Dial number

Say "hey Beryl, I'd really like to take you out and get to know you properly without all those others are round. Are you free this weekend?"

 

You will note that the words "text", "facebook", "email", "smoke signals" appear nowhere in these instructions.

 

Have fun

[freebird1]

Thanks for that except it didn't work and now I'm more confused than before.

 

I didn't call because shes usually at work till past 12am and we always text. I followed up her "another time" text, the following day, suggesting that I wanted to hangout and if she was free this weekend.

 

This was 15 hours ago and she just hasn't text me back. For her, this is totally out of character as shes replied to all of my texts prior.

 

If she isn't ready to hangout or isn't interested why not just say shes busy to avoid the awkwardness ? It isn't as if we are total strangers with no ties, we are facebook friends and have hung out before.

 

I would hate to analyze this to a T but I kind of do like this one and would prefer not to see her go.

[Mascara]

Firstly, an invitation to hang out is not asking someone for a date

 

Secondly, it didn't work because you didn't do what I suggested. I categorically said, no texting. You're supposed to call her with a definite plan, plus backups.

[freebird1]

So whats the way out? Pretend like nothing happened and call? Wait a few days then call?

[Mascara]

Well, I'm not sure now because you texted. You weren't supposed to do that. If she doesn't respond to the text, a phone call might look like you're badgering her. Wait and see if she responds now.

[freebird1]

She did respond (16 hours later).

 

She apologized for taking so long and explained. She further said she couldn't this weekend due to already having prior important obligations which she did mention before (weeks ago).

 

She didn't suggest an alternate time which makes me wonder what my next move should be? Keep in mind we are BUSY people so week to week our schedules are very variable and can change in a flash thus not suggesting a time could be a derivative of this.

[colombiana28]

not interested. I mean seriously, she sounds exactly like me when i'm not into a guy. excuse excuse excuse...she doesn't have the balls to tell you she doesn't want to hang out with you.

 

move on to a better match

[hogwild]

Hey freebird1,

 

She's losing interest in you.

 

This could be for any number of reasons but you have something HUGE in your favor... you see her every week in your league!

 

That is your time to shine. Shine like a shiny piece of metal. (I'm better at dating advice than I am at analogies.)

 

Be manly and do the things that made her attracted to you in the first place while you're together in person. If you flirt with her in person and she flirts back, ask her out before your in-person time is over. Do it face to face.

 

This means beforehand you will have come up with a day, time, and location. Tell her what these are.

 

Ex. "Hey Ms. Honey Muffin, guess what? I am taking you to the BEST mini-golf course in town. Then we'll grab some food at this amazing burger joint I know near there. Let's go on Saturday afternoon."

 

If she says she can't because it conflicts with her schedule or she doesn't know her schedule yet, say, "Cool. It's a date. I'll contact you and we'll figure out the details."

 

Possible reasons she lost interest in you:

 

- you invited her to sleep over and she mistakenly thought you meant to have sex without ever even dating (That's rude! Unless it works. Then it's awesome. I mean, it's rude!)

- she got tired of waiting for you to ask her out like a man (not hinting but being direct)

- she found a new guy she's interested in because he has big pectoral muscles and luxurious hair all over his pectoral muscles

- something else is occupying her time and it's serious

 

Most girls want to feel special. You said you "kind of like her." She probably notices this. Either you like her so far and want to learn more about her by spending time with her in person or you don't like her enough to do that. Pick one.

 

Here's a video I made that will remind you of some of the things you probably did in the beginning that got her to like you in the first place:

 

? How to Get a Girl to Like You - YouTube

 

- Hog