elizabeth21 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Me and my ex broke up in April and he's now dating my friend. I cared for him a lot even tho he wasn't the best bf to/for me. So far he's treating my friend better which kinda hurts that he'd love her more to change. Unless his true colors will eventually show and the lazy boy I knew will come out. He's 17 and I'm 18. Some days I just cry thinking of what we used to be and those great memories we made. He used to feel the same way until the last couple months of relationship cause it just got hard/frustrating. I held on when I shouldn't have cause I just got hurt in the end. Everyone said I should've broken up with him awhile ago. When I see him I don't have any feelings of love towards him but more of anger of how he treated me. Do you think I miss him or just that feeling of being in love with someone? I miss cuddling on the couch and looking into his eyes and those late night kisses before I go home. I haven't found anyone and I'm still young so I'm not worried. I just want to fall in love again but I don't want to force it. I'm afraid of going through another break up. :/
rhystcbusiness Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Sounds harsh, [email protected] if you ever wanna talk x
ponchsox Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 You have a long and prosperous life ahead of you. Someone you will love will come into your life when you least expect it. Look back at your memories as good times, not sad times. Love yourself!
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 What an arsehole. And your friend sounds like a drop kick too.... Sure you probably miss him. You spent time with him, got used to having him around, etc. You might also miss the idea of him. I was like that with my ex. I would idealize him. But when I actually stepped back and looked at how he treated me and what our relationship was really like and what I got out of it I realized he treated me pretty bad and the relationship was pretty toxic for me too. You should sit down and do a pros and cons list. Things that were positive about him and the relationship and things that werent. My list included 4 pros and 16 cons. LOL. Put things into perspective for me. And whenever I started to think of him with fondness I would look at that list and realize how much better off I was.
headinthecloud Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Me and my ex broke up in April and he's now dating my friend. I cared for him a lot even tho he wasn't the best bf to/for me. So far he's treating my friend better which kinda hurts that he'd love her more to change. Unless his true colors will eventually show and the lazy boy I knew will come out. He's 17 and I'm 18. Some days I just cry thinking of what we used to be and those great memories we made. He used to feel the same way until the last couple months of relationship cause it just got hard/frustrating. I held on when I shouldn't have cause I just got hurt in the end. Everyone said I should've broken up with him awhile ago. When I see him I don't have any feelings of love towards him but more of anger of how he treated me. Do you think I miss him or just that feeling of being in love with someone? I miss cuddling on the couch and looking into his eyes and those late night kisses before I go home. I haven't found anyone and I'm still young so I'm not worried. I just want to fall in love again but I don't want to force it. I'm afraid of going through another break up. :/ Anger is part of the breakup process, especially when you can't be in full NC (no contact). I found that part of my anger was directed towards myself because I was dumped when in actuality I should've been the dumper in my relationship as he was the one who treated me poorly. But I had to forgive myself on two fronts: 1. I was afraid of losing him and I didn't want to be alone; and (the most important reason) 2. I was angry at myself for ALLOWING someone to treat me this way even when I knew it was wrong. Try to forgive yourself, you did nothing wrong. Chalk it up to a learning experience so you know the signs next time. Here's the harsh part - you will go through another BU (breakup) in your life. But don't fear it, remember what you're going through now - these tools (such as going NC on day 1 and posting here on LS) will help you get through it. Be patient and kind with yourself. Do your best to ignore your ex and his new fling. Neither of them matter in your life and do your best to focus all those thoughts and energy on you. Only you matter now - you. And you are a wonderful person who will find a great guy who loves every part of you. "Love as if you've never been hurt." Live as though your heart has never been broken. Be resilient. Life is beautiful. The right guy is out there, and he's looking for you too.
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