asker9982 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I had been seeing a girl for 2 months while we worked together and we were planning on dating once the job had been completed. It is now completed and I called once and left a message updating her on my travel plans. I called 2 days later and left another message because my plans had changed. 3 days later I called again but didn't leave a message and then sent her an email because I know she checks that email and that was on this past Sunday. The last time I heard from her was in an email early last week saying how much she liked me and was looking forward to going out together. So I am a little confused as to how we went from that to just disappearing on me without a word. She is a workaholic and I never got the feeling she had much confidence when it came to dating because she has been treated badly by alot of guys going all the way back to her father. She is very defensive. So she does have some issues. In fact she told me that working so much was a defense mechanism. And when I say work alot I mean 16-18 hour days. I was thinking of sending her one more email on Sunday saying that I was going to call at a certain time on Wednesday and then just leave it at that. That would be a full week since the last time I tried to contact her. And it will make her think about me for a few days and at least I will feel like I got an honest answer if she doesn't pick up. I don't want to come across weak but it doesn't make sense to talk about seriously dating for 2 months, send me a sweet email, and then disappear. I really don't know what happened and it is possible (not sure how likely) that she just got nervous because she said she has never gone out with a guy like me that treats her good. My first instinct is that she likes me and is afraid of it. She is almost 28 and I am 29 so I figured she was past the point of liking guys that treat her bad. I haven't been a pushover, I know what a pushover is and I haven't been that. But now I am starting to get that pushover feeling and I don't know if giving it one more shot is a good idea. If it was someone I just met, this would be easy. It is the fact that we already know each other really well that makes it hard. What do you think? Really appreciate the help.
mustangguy29 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Stop investing in the situation emotionally. If she wants to contact you she will. I have had so many friends, that were great work friends, and then we stopped working together, and now they never have time to hang out. These were platonic relationships, but this strangely sounds exactly like that. If we run into each other at a bar, we say hello, and are cordial, but that is about it. The amount of time you guys spent together, especially since she is a workaholic exaggerated the feelings that she had for you, and now that you are not together all day, you aren't that special anymore. If I am wrong, she will get in touch with you soon, but contacting her more will do nothing to help your cause.
deathandtaxes Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I have to wonder about women who just keep dating or having relationships with d-bags, buttholes, and other sundry neer do wells. I had a relationship recently where the lady had been married to one of these kinds of guys and since her divorce had dated guys that would fit that bill. Everybody told her what I good guy I was, how nice I was, etc. I think she got bored by me or something, because at two months in, she went stone cold and the relationship died a month later. So I wonder if they just get used to having guys like that and expect relationships to be with guys like that. I'm sure there are other reasons as to why our relationship didn't work out, but I think that I was a good, honest guy, might have scared the bejeebus out of her.
odin673 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 You can only lose with this last ditch effort. Wait for her to reach out to you. She may not. On a tangent, I'm very suspicious of anyone that says they always get treated poorly(IE "all guys are *******s"). Either they are EXTREMELY unlucky or the problem is really internal and they refuse to own it. 1
tlegend Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 on a tangent, i'm very suspicious of anyone that says they always get treated poorly(ie "all guys are *******s"). Either they are extremely unlucky or the problem is really internal and they refuse to own it. bazinga!!!!!
mustangguy29 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 You can only lose with this last ditch effort. Wait for her to reach out to you. She may not. On a tangent, I'm very suspicious of anyone that says they always get treated poorly(IE "all guys are *******s"). Either they are EXTREMELY unlucky or the problem is really internal and they refuse to own it. One of the smartest and most beautiful women I know always dates jerks. Basically, what happens is, she finally gets tired of their crap and breaks up with them. The 5 or so nice guys I know that have been waiting for a chance to date her, wait patiently, because they want to give her space. She starts dating the first tool that hits on her at a bar that has a good looking face. Even though she is smart and beautiful, she is too insecure to stay single more than a week or two. I really don't understand it, she comes from a stable family, which she is still close to, and her brother is always trying to get her to just be single for a few months and find a quality boyfriend, but she won't. I hope that someday she lucks into a good guy.
Author asker9982 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 It is funny you should say that. She was married to one after knowing the guy for 2 months, got divorced 2 months later. And then has only dated the same type of guy it sounds like. She is funny, she tries so hard for everything but herself. In all honesty, probably the only way I would have been interested in her at all was to be stuck with her for 2 months. I wouldn't have put up with stuff like this early on if I had other options.
deathandtaxes Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 You can only lose with this last ditch effort. Wait for her to reach out to you. She may not. On a tangent, I'm very suspicious of anyone that says they always get treated poorly(IE "all guys are *******s"). Either they are EXTREMELY unlucky or the problem is really internal and they refuse to own it. I think my ex has some daddy issues.
Recommended Posts