funksista Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) Hi everyone, I have a major dilemma I've been single for slightly more than 1.5 years now because I never met anyone who really appealed to me along the way. However, lo & behold, I saw this guy from afar at a coffee place and it was (cliché as it sounds) love at first sight. I never thought such a thing existed but it did. My heart raced and I don't know why I was so drawn towards a stranger whom I don't even know. Sadly, I was way too shy to make any move because he was with 2 of his buddies. Long story short, I was smoking a cigarette outside of the cafe when him and his friends stepped out to leave the place. I played it cool of course, but here's the catch: I managed to remember his car vehicle number as he drove away -__-" So I kinda played "detective" and got his name. Argh, I know I come off like I'm a stalker but I'm really not. I just really wanted to know who he was and that was the only link that I had Anyway, perhaps it wasn't meant to be but we have absolutely ZERO common friends on Facebook. I have no idea how to approach him as sending him a message via FB may come across as desperate/stalker-ish. And hell no, I am not going to "poke" him. I actually don't mind saying hello on Facebook, but it is kinda weird if we don't have any common friends - wouldn't he wonder why of all 14 million people in my country, I chose to randomly send him a message? Moreover, I think his 2 buddies might recognize me if anything were to happen Gosh, I just want to do this right but I don't know how. Please help! Edited October 17, 2013 by funksista
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Just say he came up on your "people you might know" if he asks. If you're going to send him a message just do it. Worst he can do is not respond or call you crazy... either way you'd be in no different a place than you're in now. But yea, looking up his tag number is kinda crazy.
Author funksista Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I know... but if you were me, what else would you have done? Actually, the reason why I'm hesitant to send a message is because he or his friends might recognize me. One of them kept looking my way when I was sitting at the table behind them. That would completely blow my cover on the "people you might know" story. (Gosh I feel like I'm in high school all over again ).
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Just say he came up on 'people you may know' and you thought you recognised him from the coffee shop?
Author funksista Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I believe Facebook only shows you "people you may know" because they share a certain number of mutual friends as you. We have zero mutual friends. Moreover, I can barely see his face in his profile pic. Won't work
mercuryshadow Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Maybe you should start to frequent that coffee shop and/or the surrounding area. Does his facebook page show where he lives? If so, it may give a clue as to whether you may see him back in the area or not.
Author funksista Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Wow thanks for being so helpful so far, all of you I really appreciate it. To answer your questions, yes he lives pretty far away so it is unlikely he will be back in the area. I forgot to add, this place is a brand new coffee+breakfast place (cafes like this are rare in my country) and it was a national holiday on that day which could explain that he was merely there to check out the place with his friends. There isn't much on his FB page - only shows where he works (some IT company that's super far away) and that he likes to cycle. Problem is, there could be a million places to cycle over here!
Phantom888 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 go talk to him. if he bites, then he is not really human.
lollipopspot Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Can you tell if he is on any groups on Facebook that you could join? Then you could say you were looking at the member's list, and think you recognize him from the coffee shop. Your initial behavior was pretty stalkerish, and you'd be best not to admit it or you really might scare him off.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Does it reallllllly matter if you have no mutual friends? Honestly, you're sweating it so much. He'll probably just assume it was a facebook glitch and not think anything of it. Because the alternative, that you looked him up based on his number plate, is so creepily over the top that he'll never even consider it a possibility Don't spend weeks agonising over how to approach this, just send him a message. He could be coupled up, or a total douche, and you've built it up in your head. Just go for it, the worst that can happen is you're in the same position now but with full knowledge that you tried. Before my first date with my now bf of 4 months, I looked his facebook page up (based on his name) and saw a band page he 'liked' that he'd mentioned he was in, so I looked it up on youtube to suss him out and how he came across before we met. I fancied him instantly so my heart was set on the date if he did ask me out haha. Later on he said he didn't understand how I found those videos as it's a covers band and the artist has a tonne of bands covering him, so I'd have had to type in something more specific than '*band* cover band' to find them. I just played along and said 'yeah, it's weird that it came up for me and not for you, isn't it!?' haha. I'm sure at some point in the future I'll admit that I did that.
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