Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I broke up with my boyfriend of a year about a month ago for some reasons, things just weren't working out. We got back together last week but I find out from a Facebook message that he was trying to hook up with a girl he used to hook up with for 2 years when we were broken up. Not only that but he first started talking to her 4 months ago at least. What should I do about this?
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Well you know he's a sneak and was possibly going to cheat on you, things didn't work out the way he wanted so he came back to you. You are his backup plan and he's likely going to continue to look around and leave you once he's found someone else he wants to pursue. You should dump the loser and find someone who can be honest and committed. 1
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Even though we were broken up this time it's not really cheating right? I don't know why he would try talking to her months ago though. The girl was never his gf, just a booty call
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 He was trying to talk to her in order to see if she was interested. Were the issues corrected that caused the breakup to begin with? What makes you believe that things are going to work out this time when they failed before?
mammasita Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 You broke up with him for "some reasons"....not sure what could have changed in a month for you to take him back.....I'm thinking nothing. in any case, he's not worth your time. Dump his a55 again.
Toddbt12y1 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Even though we were broken up this time it's not really cheating right?I don't know why he would try talking to her months ago though. The girl was never his gf, just a booty call Well, no. Not cheating if you two were broken up. But more than likely he was cheating on you. As the bold part sticks out with me. It seems as if he has made you the booty call now....I would find someone better.
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I broke up with him. It's not like he wanted to end things to go be with her.
mammasita Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I broke up with him. It's not like he wanted to end things to go be with her. Thats not the point. Why did you break up with him? I don't think you're being honest with yourself here. You KNOW he was talking to her for four months before you broke up with him, that is a fact. Whether he left you or not. Would you rather he carry on an emotional relationship behind your back and not leave you to be with her? Now that makes way more sense.
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 I asked him about it. He said he texted her 4 months ago when we were in a fight but he didn't text her again until this last breakup. When we got back together last week he told her he had me and didn't want her. He only went to her because he was sad and thought I was leaving him. Apparently the girl really likes him but is crazy and they used to fight all the time when they were hooking up because she wanted more and he didn't.
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 So pretty much at the sign of a fight he's ready to bail and nail (other chicks)? Sounds like a very secure commitment there. 1
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 He is saying he's sorry and he was just sad and did that to feel better. I don't think it would bother me as much if she was a random girl he just met at the bar but she's not. He was with her for almost two years and it ended right around the time he met me. He said he never liked her but why would he try to get with her again if she's so crazy?
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 He doesn't want to ruin our relationship and wants to be together.
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 He's lying to you, is it that hard to see? He is telling you what he needs to tell you to get you back. Regardless he went looking for other women when you two were having issues. You're going to do what you want to do regardless what logical points you're told here. You two already had enough issues for the relationship to end, and he's proven he's willing to look around when you two have issues. You continue to try and rationalize his behaviors, and that's fine, your choice. Yet you feel the need to have complete strangers on the internet validate your choice... and you're not going to find that here. Facts are you two had issues, he was looking around while in a relationship, it didn't work out with her so he degraded her and went back to you as his backup option. 1
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Well I just want to make the right choice. I broke up with him and made the choice to work things out and get back together. I don't want to break up with him if he is truly sorry and it is possible to get back to the way we were. I will if I know it isn't working but is there a possibility he is telling the truth and never cheated?
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 The girl likes him, he knows and could be with her if he wanted. I'm really torn on what to do.
mammasita Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 so you're pretty much not listening to any of the sound advice you're getting here and will be with this guy regardless. Why are you even asking?
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 so you're pretty much not listening to any of the sound advice you're getting here and will be with this guy regardless. Why are you even asking? She's wanting someone to agree with her as she wants to get back with this guy but internally knows it's a bad idea. She needs outside validation to tell her that it's a good idea and that he's trustworthy. It's not and he's not.
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Of course I want to get back with this guy. That's why I did. Now that this happened I am second guessing it but I don't want to end it when we just got back together a week ago. I don't want to break up with him out of anger and irrationality. I need validation that it is the right choice to end it again. I appreciate the input and I am just trying to put all the details out there.
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Obviously there are problems and he doesn't seem mature enough to handle a relationship.
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Of course I want to get back with this guy. That's why I did. Now that this happened I am second guessing it but I don't want to end it when we just got back together a week ago. I don't want to break up with him out of anger and irrationality. I need validation that it is the right choice to end it again. I appreciate the input and I am just trying to put all the details out there. You've been given nothing but logical reasons to not trust this guy, and thus not stay with him. There is nothing irrational about knowing he started to look around when you guys were having issues and went hunting that same woman once the relationship ended. These are facts. 1
Author Amyjay Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 After talking to some people apparently he may have liked the girl at the beginning of their relationship when he initially pursued her. He made some effort to date but it never went anywhere and they just continued sleeping together. It was a volatile relationship and he ended it. He didn't think about her once I came into the picture. Whether or not he cares for her or not still it was an inconsiderate thing to do to both of us.
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