Do you avoid certain places out of fear of running into your ex?

[Ordinaryday]

I do, and I know she does the same. there is a public library that we always went to, both together and on our own, when we were together. since she dumped me I have tried to forget her and am in 100% no contact.

 

I very rarely go to this particular library anymore because if I went there and saw her there it would just hurt. it is easier just to avoid it, and I know she does the same thing.

 

So if you had a BAD breakup with your ex and our in complete NC do you go out of your way to avoid going to places where they might be or hang out?

 

I have heard one argument say that you should still go to these places to show them that you are "not bothered" by their presence and to "not give them the satisfaction" of knowing they got to you but honestly that seems like playing games and to me it is easier just to flat out 100% stop going to the places I know she visits.

 

Do you do the same thing? what strategy works for you?

[candie13]

Unless you need to go to that library for studying or that library being your feng shui place where you always study and helps with your concentration, you don't belong there. Plenty of other libraries in town, no?

 

If you went there, I'd take it as provocation, not showing that you don't care.

 

I'm in a similar situation. I gave up my dance classes and dance school, my favorite bar and my favorite coffee place. And... we live in tiny tiny place. I tried to avoid my favorite coffee place during the times I knew he'd hang out there... guess what, he changed them to run into me.

 

There's no winning.

 

Out of sight is out of mind.