brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) Ex birthday in few days (dumped me for another woman-10 months ago broke up with her also ,I don’t have any status updates from June))Wished me on my birthday however I did not reply at all .We were LC up to June. Then he was sending me texts once a month asking ‘’how are you’’ until few weeks ago which I replied and ask him do not sending mesuch texts because for me it’s over, he never understand that l gave him my soul, anyway this is life and goodbye.I still have feelings do u think I should text him a happy birthday? If he ever REGRET will this or my last msg stop him? What you guys think? Dumpers view will be highly appreciated ! Edited October 17, 2013 by brokengirl3
Philosoraptor Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Nothing will be gained by sending him a text. All you would do is risk what progress you've made by either anticipating a response and not getting one, or getting one that is harmful. 4
Ordinaryday Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 if you had an awesome job you absolutely loved and wanted to keep working at and then out of the blue you were fired by your boss who told you you were no longer welcome at the company you loved working for and that you were now unemployed.... would you send this boss who fired you a text on their birthday and wish them well? No? A dumping is the same thing.
Ordinaryday Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Nothing will be gained by sending him a text. All you would do is risk what progress you've made by either anticipating a response and not getting one, or getting one that is harmful. Agreed, and a lot of people misunderstand what a 'harmful' response is. it is not necessarily a rude or nasty one - it could be something vague and simple like "thanks for that, bye" which will leave you with more questions than answers - "he responded, does this mean he wants me back?!?!?" (no) "how come his response wasn't longer?" "how come he took so long to respond???" and so on. send nothing, expect nothing. 1
Author brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 if you had an awesome job you absolutely loved and wanted to keep working at and then out of the blue you were fired by your boss who told you you were no longer welcome at the company you loved working for and that you were now unemployed.... would you send this boss who fired you a text on their birthday and wish them well? No? A dumping is the same thing. What if I was unemployed and wanted to get my job back?
organizedchaos Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 What if I was unemployed and wanted to get my job back? Can't think of a single time anyone who got fired from a job was ever given their job back by the employer. Ever. Even if the employer realizes how critical that person was after firing them, they will never say we made a mistake firing you, sure you can have your old job back! 1
Author brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Can't think of a single time anyone who got fired from a job was ever given their job back by the employer. Ever. Even if the employer realizes how critical that person was after firing them, they will never say we made a mistake firing you, sure you can have your old job back! Maybe you are right however he was not my boss. I worried if I don't wish him hbirthday I will never hear from him since I already ask him do not reach me again.
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I already ask him do not reach me again. Then what does it matter? The faster you accept and work towards this, the better off you will be. He's gone and not coming back and you will most likely never speak to him again. Learn it! Live it!
Author brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Then what does it matter? The faster you accept and work towards this, the better off you will be. He's gone and not coming back and you will most likely never speak to him again. Learn it! Live it! I asked him to not text me again because every month he was sending me breadcrumbs (how are you msgs) which was setting me back! Now im stronger. Still don't want to lose him forever though. I want him to understand his mistake. Say sorry,Apologize. I don't care when or how !I just want to come to that point one day even if I don't want him by then.
aybc123 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Goddamn there are so many damaged unhealthy people giving advice here, it's no wonder that most breakups end up with animosity. Look, we dont know the situation of your breakup, chances are he just fell out of love with you, it happens. Chances are he also still cares about you and has fond memories of your relationship together but no desire to get back together. He never wanted to hurt you, but he also couldnt stay with you. This is nothing at all like getting fired by your boss, jesus that is such a stupid analogy, no wonder there is so much cruelty going on if this is how people view relationships. Anyway, just post a happy birthday on his Facebook like other people will, no need to wait for a reply and it shows that you dont harbour any bad feelings towards him etc, he'll know just from that that things are cool. If he texts you or emails you in the future just be friendly and polite. I always get birthday messages from exes and the occasional email or call (and i make them too) these were girls that at one point i was in love with and who were the most important person in the world to me, i went on holidays with them and cared for them deeply, it's sad that people try to pretend something didn't happen or didn't mean anything to them to avoid being hurt.
forgetmenot75 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Do not post a message in his Facebook page, do not wish him a happy birthday. He is not your friend, he will never be your friend. He dumped you for another woman, he gave you breadcrumbs out of his guilt for dumping you. He is not interested in getting back with you. If he wanted to get back with you, he'll make it very clear. It's not the situation. Keep your pride intact, do not with him happy birthday. He is a stranger now for you. 2
Author brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Thank you ALL for your support .Most probably I will not text him or facebook message him (i have him blocked on fbook anw) i want to confirm that im doing the right thing since i have second thoughts about it since i am person who forgive and forget.
BC1980 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Maybe you are right however he was not my boss. I worried if I don't wish him hbirthday I will never hear from him since I already ask him do not reach me again. Since you asked him not to speak with you again, it will most certainly make you look weak to send the message. You asked for NC, so you follow through. Respect your own boundaries, and trust the decision you made to go NC.
BC1980 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Goddamn there are so many damaged unhealthy people giving advice here, it's no wonder that most breakups end up with animosity. Look, we dont know the situation of your breakup, chances are he just fell out of love with you, it happens. Chances are he also still cares about you and has fond memories of your relationship together but no desire to get back together. He never wanted to hurt you, but he also couldnt stay with you. This is nothing at all like getting fired by your boss, jesus that is such a stupid analogy, no wonder there is so much cruelty going on if this is how people view relationships. Anyway, just post a happy birthday on his Facebook like other people will, no need to wait for a reply and it shows that you dont harbour any bad feelings towards him etc, he'll know just from that that things are cool. If he texts you or emails you in the future just be friendly and polite. I always get birthday messages from exes and the occasional email or call (and i make them too) these were girls that at one point i was in love with and who were the most important person in the world to me, i went on holidays with them and cared for them deeply, it's sad that people try to pretend something didn't happen or didn't mean anything to them to avoid being hurt. I don't think it's about being mean and pretending it didn happen. She clearly doesn't have enough time between her and the breakup to be able to wish him a happy birthday.
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I asked him to not text me again because every month he was sending me breadcrumbs (how are you msgs) which was setting me back! Now im stronger. Still don't want to lose him forever though. This is an oxymoron. You state you don't want him to contact you, but also don't want to lose him forever. You can't have it both ways. Continue contact and live in pain and agony. Or go NC, forget him FOREVER and begin to recover and heal. No hybrid options here. I want him to understand his mistake. Say sorry,Apologize. I don't care when or how ! Sorry. You can't control the thoughts and actions of someone else. Only yourself. I just want to come to that point one day even if I don't want him by then. One choice for this outcome. Go NC, forget him FOREVER and begin to recover and heal. 1
Author brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Very helpful reply mtnbiker3000 thank you!!!I am in a place which he can not hurt me anymore. I will respect my own boundaries and decision and continue NC. 1
cavalier99 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I asked him to not text me again because every month he was sending me breadcrumbs (how are you msgs) which was setting me back! Now im stronger. Still don't want to lose him forever though. I want him to understand his mistake. Say sorry,Apologize. I don't care when or how !I just want to come to that point one day even if I don't want him by then. Just forget about him. Stop these ridiculous thoughts. You still want him to aplogize and undertsand his mistakes and not lose him..What?? Youll be waiting forever. Cav
Author brokengirl3 Posted October 17, 2013 Author Posted October 17, 2013 Just forget about him. Stop these ridiculous thoughts. You still want him to aplogize and undertsand his mistakes and not lose him..What?? Youll be waiting forever. Cav I will try to stop these stupid thoughts as well! 1
Recommended Posts