Is it wrong to go to a Halloween party without my boyfriend?

[beelibra]

we are in a long distance relationships and have been dating for almost 7 months. He lives in Arizona and I live in California, & I am seeing him next weekend. We're struggling with the distance right now, we love each other very much and it's hard for us. My 21st birthday is this weekend and I'm not doing anything, I am celebrating it with him next weekend in Arizona. My friend is throwing a Halloween party and I wanted to go with some friends this weekend, and he has been very distant with me since mentioning it. I talked to him about it and he told me it kind of bothers him but he wanted me to do something for my birthday, but obviously is really bothering him. I love him and care about him more & about the happiness of our relationship than a stupid party. Although I would really like to go and my friends will be disappointed, he's what is most important.I have been kind of depressed and could use a night out, but I don't want to make the wrong decision. I want him to know that I care, but not that I'm a pushover. My outfit is a sexy one, its a jump suit no butt hanging out or anything but he wasnt fond if it AT all. I do model and the attention really bothers him. Please believe me I'm not trying to be cocky or conceited in the least bit. But I think this is making him insecure and He does have some trust issues, is he over reacting or should I not be going? Thanks for any advice!

[Ninjainpajamas]

Well you're going to a Halloween party with a sexy outfit and there will be guys and alcohol there...it's a perfect opportunity to get yourself in trouble with some young random prowling guy, especially since your guy is long-distance and unable to really just satisfy the basics of a relationship, as well as your troubles...that's always a recipe for something to happen.

 

You're only 21, IMO this is time where you should be making stupid decisions with men who entirely see you as a sex object if that's something you're into...otherwise if you're not, you probably shouldn't go to something like this unless you're not a drinker or it's just going to be around mostly friends/acquaintances or you've just got great self-control and no desire to attention whore yourself out to the wandering eyes that are sure to be staring you down like laser beams and pursuing you like sharks.

 

Can't say it's the best situation to be in a relationship, really kind of depends on the party and your friends as well...but at the very least, be aware that it's a situation you can get into trouble with if you're not very careful, the distance of your current relationship will leave a void that someone can capitalize on or you just want some attention.

 

All in all though, I'd say go...this relationship is probably going down the toilet anyway and in the end, won't be worth it...don't make decisions now that might not even matter in the future, they just cost you out of fun with your friends...if nothing happens and you go and come back to the party because you know how much you can trust yourself or the kind of girl you are, then you're fine as well....he'll get over it.

 

Always be aware too, some of the most jealous and insecure guys are not exactly angels themselves and might be having their own side thing, which makes them paranoid that you are...just a warning.

[Criticality]

Go! Go and have a good time!

 

No, your a party isn't worth more than a relationship, but at the same time if he's bothered by you going he doesn't really have a lot of trust in neither you or the relationship.

 

His jealousy is his problem.

 

It's not caused by you going to the party in a sexyish costume.

 

It's not solved by you staying home.

 

It's caused by his insecurities and low self esteem, and its solved by him working on himself and maturing.

 

Would you also be fine with him expecting you to stay home from a business trip if you get married with him?

[veggirl]

Going to the party is fine, I mean what are you supposed to do stay locked in your room because your bf lives in AZ and you are in CA? He should have considered this fact before entering an LDR with someone. You can't have NO social life!

 

Going to the party in a slutty costume is....not cool. Why are you doing that? Why can't you wear a costume that doesn't make you look like you are trolling for attention from guys? I mean the "sexy" costumes are just that -- attention seeking outfits. I'd be pissed about that if I was him.