Axee Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 (edited) Hi All, My boyfriend wasnt sure of commitment. He was always saying "I havent taken a decision yet" etc. He is 36 and I am 28 .. Initially I gave him time and he too upped up his initiative taking behaviour, I though we are going in the right direction he started calling more, we went on a one day trip.. So nowadays , he has been having lots of problems with his family.. lots of fights .. I pestered him to meet up and msged him once "So how long will this low priority will continue?" For that out of the blue he messaged "Sorry you carry on, I have tremendous pressure at work and family and that is my focus right now, I cannot be indulgent , I have no intention of hurting your feelings but right now my priority is different.. Hope you dont feel bad " Next msg "Please understand " I replied saying sorry I was in bad mood, and asked him to call, he called me... and we spoke general stuff, I asked why did you say "U carry on" what did you mean by that .. He said this has gone long enough without any decision and looks like its going nowhere .. and he wants to take the matter to a conclusion..He said he thinks I am a "gem of a person" but somehow he is not able to get committed.. I said he is the one not taking a decision about us.. and told him wearing my heart on his sleeve that I am in love with him and he needs to take a strong decision either "yes" or "no" not the in between lets think .. I asked him to "free me from this limbo and stress of uncertainty"... he said I will call you tomorrow and talk about it.. I already knew the answer and said "say whatever you want to say and please be honest " Today : A text arrives .. "I thought about it and have high regards for you but somehow feel that things will not work out ,really sorry about that...." Thats it . End of story.. All moments all jokes, all words , everything evaporates ... I didnt reply.. Two weeks of NC later .. Should I have replied? He texted me because he couldnt face me or wasnt sure of his decision or something...I sometimes feel like replying now "I respect your decision." My friends (girls)said do not respond. Its a message that what he did was not ok. Another friend (guy) asked me to just give him space as he was probably buggered by my constant demands to meet up...I dont know what to do....I feel misled sometimes.. I feel sometimes he is confused.. I really dont know what to do.... Edited October 16, 2013 by Axee
Zahara Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 The reason you want to respond after two weeks of NC is to try to open communication. It's rather silly to respond now. There is no need to reply. Keep pushing NC.
Author Axee Posted October 16, 2013 Author Posted October 16, 2013 To be honest ..I am afraid of closing the doors permanently...
Zahara Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 To be honest ..I am afraid of closing the doors permanently... The thing is, the door is already closed. HE doesn't want a relationship. He closed that door. When someone doesn't want you, walk away. Asshat sent you a text to break-up. That itself should tell you how much he prioritized you. It was disrespectful. And his words were cold and unemotional. You need to NC. Please. If he couldn't give you commitment then, there is no point in you even rattling the cage hoping that just maybe he'll want it this time. And if he wants it, let him come to you.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 To be honest ..I am afraid of closing the doors permanently... Doors are already closed, he closed them. Sooner you realize this, the better you'll be. You are holding on to something that doesn't exist.
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