Mave Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 (edited) Hi, I would like to enquire what should a guy do in the event that a girl you are dating ends up blowing hot and cold a lot of the time. I am dating this girl, and she is fairly busy with her work. During her breaks, we often get very close and we will talk about meeting up or chilling up sometime. Recently, when I tried to press for a date, she said she was busy and had no time but didn't bother to reschedule. She simply said she didn't feel like going out because she has no time. I don't deny parts of it are probably true, but I am not sure how much. More to the point, I find it disconcerting that she only seems to initiate a convo with me when she is free/restless/bored? I tried to call her out on it but she simply brushed it off as her being busy. I am not sure if I am trying too hard. She says I seem to expect too much, and when I go out to meet/date her, I shouldn't expect anything. It should be fun and relaxed, like meeting a casual female friend for dinner. Her idea of courtship is putting yourself out there and feeling vulnerable, and certainty shouldn't be something you expect. I thought about letting her know my priorities and said "Ok, so I think I should focus on my career and life then", to which she responded "You seem like you are giving up on us?", which makes me unclear what's her deal. Any opinions or insights would be helpful. Her male friend said she talked to him about me, and said she is considering but not quite sure. Thanks! Edited October 16, 2013 by Mave
Philosoraptor Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Sounds like you're an ego boost and a use of time when bored. She keeps you around but at a far enough distance that she doesn't have to truly commit. You should cut ties with this one and find someone who is more available.
Author Mave Posted October 16, 2013 Author Posted October 16, 2013 Thanks for the reply. We are kinda dating, but I am leaving it till the end of the year before I make an affirmed decision. Long story short, I will be flying off for 6 months, and if the signs aren't good with this one come end of the year, I will end things then. But for now, I am still thinking of pursuing her. Is that recommended? If not, how should I end things? Simply not bother any more? Cheers
Philosoraptor Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 No, it's not recommended. You're wasting all sorts of time being confused about someone who is clearly not incredibly interested. Yes, stop bothering. She doesn't seem to bother with you so why bother with her and waste both your mental and emotional energy on such a flake? 1
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