MalachiX Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Ive met very few women who place looks as number 1. They are exceptions. Doing this is the norm for men though. Racists make statements like this too. They say, "there are exceptions but most black people are lazy" or "there are exceptions but most Jews are cheap." There are actually a ton of research studies that show that men on average place looks way higher on their priority list. Harvard did a study of 10,000 married couples that found men place looks in the top 3 for a WIFE while women do in the top 10 for a husband. Mind blowing I know the studies you mean. Tell me, do you also find it "mind blowing" that many of these studies also show that women are far more likely to place an emphasis of status? Why aren't you railing over how shallow women are? Why are men at fault if more guys say, "I'm using this chick because she's not hot enough" but women aren't at fault if more women say, "I'm dumping this guy because he's not popular enough." On that note, have you looked at all the studies that show a plurality of women are more attracted to the "dark triad" of negative characteristics in men? These include things like sociopathy, narcissism, and manipulativeness yet studies show that women tend to be more drawn to men who display these characteristics than those who are more considerate and "nicer." Why aren't you bothered that statistically women encourage men to show bad behavior? Why aren't you constantly posting about that? My guess is that you're not angry at the women because you are one. My guess is that, as a woman, you want to be treated as an individual and don't think you should be judged for your gender or for things that other members of your gender are guilty of. I think you want to be treated as a human being first and a woman second. I agree with this. I just don't get why you don't want to extend the same courtesy to men.
JamesM Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 There are actually a ton of research studies that show that men on average place looks way higher on their priority list. Harvard did a study of 10,000 married couples that found men place looks in the top 3 for a WIFE while women do in the top 10 for a husband. Mind blowing gentle comment....how can it be mind blowing? And of the ton of research, you list ONE study? One places it in the top three and the other the top ten. Based on your statement as it stands, men AND women could place it at number three and your statement would be far from mind blowing. Even still, if there were fifty places and the men placed at #3 and women at #10, that still isn't mind blowing. I guess perhaps if men placed it at #3 out of 10 and women placed it at #10 out of 10, then you may have a point. Why is it a bad thing to place looks higher on the list? Besides, people are notorious (men and women) for not actually knowing why they choose someone and how they are attracted to someone. SO Harvard or not, the study is somewhat subjective.
kendallk Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) I can tell you havent researched throughly. Women have improved on the income/status preference in the past few decades due to being able to work. Most women now want someone financially stable, not necessarily rich. Before I discovered this I used to say both genders are equally shallow but the trend is leaning more towards men now due to the economic changes with women recently. Also research shows now men are expecting to date a woman who can pay her own way. So this goes both ways. I know in my own personal life there is not a single man who wants to date a woman he has to support. Now they expect to date a woman who can pay for herself. I actually overhear men say often they find it annoying when a woman doesnt pay for herself. One guy said it was annoying his gf is a waitress and he has to pay for her because shes poor. Times are changing. The changes have benefitted men alot. Because now they dont have to pay for women, yet they can continue to be shallow and justified in it. Women have evolved past our evolutionary tendencies, men continue to embrace theirs. The study found that on average looks was number 10 for women. It was number 3 for men. Sorry if that wasnt clear. So looks are clearly very important to men even when they are with someone who will grow old. Edited October 17, 2013 by kendallk
Babolat Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 It sound slike you are attracted to her but are worried about what others think about her because she doesn't fit the hollywood image of "hot". Which is quite shallow... I really don't see the problem in this case at all. I was thinking exactly the same....
kendallk Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 Don't engage kendallk, I'm pretty sure this is multi account. This poster has already been here and spread exact same nonsense with exactly same writing style under other names like keira (with some dots in between). Just because you don't agree with me doesn't make me nonsensical. I think a lot of people who post here live in LaLa Land where everything is idealistic and they cannot see things for what they are. Yep, you are right. Funnily enough, the woman haters who say what I say with the genders reversed on this site don't ever get banned.
sabre80 Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I would rather have great sex with a woman who gets my motor running every time yet society finds downright ugly, than terrible sex with a woman society deems a goddess. I could not care what society labels a woman. Is she a sex goddess in MY bed or not. I like to keep things simple and fit everything into binary logic. Ill even sudo code it for ya. If sex goddess == true then carry the **** on. 2
Author domple Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Hey everyone, sorry I was not here for the past few days but thanks for all the comments. Here is the simple truth of the matter. I met her 2 months ago from eHarmony. When I first met her I was like meh shes a little plump but she dresses amazing and has the most beautiful blue eyes (turns out they were contact). I was not OMG amazing when we met but though she was nice and it would be nice to see her again. Saw her again and she had brown eyes (I found out she wore contacts) and dressed in the most hideous thing I had seen (hair pulled back stretching her face and not flattering at all. I though ok I will tap it and go (I sound harsh I know). But I found myself very interested in her and started to talk to her more and more. Within a week I found myself almost saying I am in love with her. She met some friends and I nearly said I loved her. We are so in sync it is scary in what we want and the things we like. Soon after I started to not stand her in that my mind would exaggerate her physical appearance to me in a negative way and started to nit pick her apart. I was like WTF how can you go from OMG amazing to NOOO so quickly. I stated to go to a phyc I used to see and she things I have commitment issues. The simple truth is that I do like this girl but my mind is pushing me away from her. Last week the phyc said that after dating for 2 months I should get in her face accept who she is because there are clearly feelings for her. So this weekend I decided to do it after 4 days apart. At first it was intense as my anxiety was high but I was with her all weekend and can say this. The negative thoughts softened and though great I can finally wash them out. We humped like jack rabbits to the point where our private parts felt demolished. But for some reason the moment we left her place together my anxiety went sky high and again today before I dropped her off at work. I know I sound nuts but even now that I don’t want to see her I just want to be with her tonight as it’s the most ****ed up thing and part of me wants to go as I do like her and enjoy her company (even if there is no sex) Although when we have sex my negative feelings just wash away and yesterday in the store my anxiety was really high and she made a joke and BAM all my negative thoughts went away and could start to feel my emotions for her. I hope this sheds some light and I will give it a month or so if I cant make a decision as I don’t want to string her along and since the negative feelings went away more so I want to try with her. I just don’t know how you can go from amazing to not liking her so quickly.
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