DannyCA Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 It's been more than 8 months since my girlfriend and I have broken up and it's been about 2 months since we have been in no contact. Long story short she broke up with me, it really is on her, but I am no saint in the picture either. She is 20 and I am 21, so I know we can (and will very much likely) find other people and be happy. But we were just so damn good together so its hard even after all this time to accept it fully. In all honesty, it felt like she threw us away because she's in love with the new city she's in and just wants to have fun. After all of this I see that I want the same for myself too. My only problem is that we had this strong love, and then out of no where (when she finally made more than one friend in her new city, as a matter of fact it was that very same weekend) it was like something just clicked and she starting acting very weird towards me. We've been broken up for 8 months now, the first four months she just acted so damn nasty towards me (it was like she was someone I didn't know) but I still tried to be reasonable and tried to be her friend even though it killed me. Then I just stopped trying. Then the next two months she started contacting me but it just didn't feel right. She was pretending like nothing ever happened between us. I eventually got fed up with her acting like that and I told her how I felt about everything that has happened and told her we shouldn't keep in contact for a while. So my question is should I check on her instagram to see what she has been up to? I deleted my facebook 2 months ago because I didn't like seeing anything. I also unfollowed her on instagram 2 months ago so I wouldn't see what she was up to. But I can't help but want to check up on her. Is it an all around bad idea? Or can it possibly be a test to see if I'm over her? To be honest, I still feel like what we had wasn't just any kind of love (after all we fell in love with each other being LD for the majority of the relationship) it was seriously just a love that I could feel deep rooted in my heart and soul; it was unlike anything I've ever experienced. So while I feel our timing was very poor, I can't help but feel maybe we can rekindle what we had in the future when we both have done what we have wanted to. But then again that might be a foolish hope to grasp onto.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 If you are creating a thread asking about it, you shouldn't do it. You don't sound like you are in any state to do this. So no, bad idea.
Trimmer Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 So my question is should I check on her instagram to see what she has been up to? I deleted my facebook 2 months ago because I didn't like seeing anything. I also unfollowed her on instagram 2 months ago so I wouldn't see what she was up to. But I can't help but want to check up on her. Is it an all around bad idea? As with many things in life, I would look at this as a risk/reward (or cost/benefit) tradeoff. What do you have to gain? I maintain she's probably not coming back. And on the other hand, what do you risk - what do you have to lose? Lots of heartache, wondering what she is doing and thinking, and prolonging your suffering through the loss, and delaying your being able to move on. Do you see the cost/benefit analysis going in some other direction than this? Or can it possibly be a test to see if I'm over her? Why would she be testing you? Hasn't she already made her plans and choices clear? She wouldn't drag you through the mud and break up with you if she still wanted to be with you. If it IS some kind of test, it's not a test to see if she should be with you. It's because she wants an ego feed - to see if she still has power over you. You've been discarded, but she would still gladly take and ego boost, if you reach out to her and tell her how much she means to you... If that's the case, do you really want to participate? To be honest, I still feel like what we had wasn't just any kind of love (after all we fell in love with each other being LD for the majority of the relationship) it was seriously just a love that I could feel deep rooted in my heart and soul; it was unlike anything I've ever experienced. Of course it was, dude! You're 21 years old. You've only been in your adult life for a few years, and your brain is still 3 or 4 years from finishing the wiring that you'll have for most of your adult life. I don't mean this as a burn - I'm sure it was unlike anything you've experienced, but you haven't had the time or exposure to experience all that much yet. You've got a lot of life ahead of you... Process this: yes! Learn from it: absolutely! But your plan should be to turn forward, and start living toward your future. There's a lot to be experienced out there. Don't spend too much of your energy looking back, in the hope that you can "go back there" again. Move forward, and be enthusiastic about whatever is coming... 2
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