syaf003 Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Hi, Can anyone tell me how to let someone down nice and easy? I'm a girl with more guy friends than girlfriends, in fact I only have like 2 close girlfriends but we don't talk much anymore since we're busy. Most of the times it's my guy friends, my bros, who will text me and such and ask me out just to hang out with them. I sometimes find it uneasy, and I would reject them or make up excuses because I don't feel like meeting them one on one, I'd rather go out in groups. Even so, some of my best guy friends start to go to a stage where they flirt alot with me. I have completely stopped talking to them when they're like that, but after a while we went back to talking. I mean I know these guys for at least 3-5 years. I don't have that feeling where I can see us together any day. And even if we go on group outings they'll find a way to get extra close to me. Which I find very annoying. I haven't gone out with any one of them in months. My mom thinks I'm antisocial, but then again, my girlfriends are busy as well. So how do I politely tell them to not bring it up? Or stop trying. I have been rejecting them, considering I have a boyfriend now. But they don't respect my space. We used to talk about everything but now I don't want to share anything with them, scared that they'll think I am willing to give a chance with them. To top it off, my boyfriend's definitely not happy with the texts they send, all the more reason why I ignored them. But I feel bad, I mean these guys have helped me quite a bit over the years, during school and my past relationships. I just don't like them to have feelings for me, yet I don't want the friendship to end. So any suggestions? P.S I have tried hooking them up with some of my friends (not close girlfriends)... didn't work out :/ HELP.
GG3 Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 How old are you and how old are they? I'm 34 and always had more male friends than female friends. I have found there are some guys like that and they just never stop. Eventually I cut them loose. I have a handful of good guy friends that don't do that. It took time to find them but they were out there.
crederer Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 They're not really your friends. They're tryin to be more and the blatant disrespect they show by not respecting your relationship with your bf is ridiculous. Time to ditch the ones that are flirtatious. Have you ever hooked up with any of them?
Delilah1623 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I have told male friends "I have a boyfriend, don't talk to me like that." If they continue they don't respect you or your relationship and I would back off on the friendship.
Dreamworld Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 This kind of post always reminds me of why they say girls are perfectly capable of maintaining platonic friendships with guys (no other motives, no leading on, but completely no attraction platonic friendships) but a whopping percentage of guys always have ulterior motives when they are good friends with a girl. I have a younger brother who says when guys are good friends with a girl, they always want something more. Always. Otherwise they'd hang out with other guys. I emphasize 'good friends' because I think the level of closeness has a lot to do with whether these friendships work. I am sure people will disagree but I have never ever been able to be close friends with the opposite sex without them wanting something more. The only guy friends that have remained platonic friendships are guys I knew from childhood or school. And we're not close at all, more like school acquiantances we meet as a group like once or twice a year max. So I am kind of envious of girls who can pull of healthy close girl and guy friendships without any problems. But to answer your question, I don't think they are really your friends. And if they continue to make you uncomfortable you have to cut them loose. Plus it'll cause strain in the relationship with your boyfriend. Unless your bf is the jealous type there is a reason your friends bother him and this will continue to be a thorn in his side and that is not good for the relationship. Good luck!
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