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do i or not?

digger

By digger
in Separation and Divorce

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digger Established Member

digger

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facts

 

she divorced me

 

i want to reconcile

 

shes shown nothing but hate

 

i still love her

 

she has not made 1 oz. of effort to contact me and my daughter stays very distant

 

do i buy her (ex) a xmas present or do i save my money?

do i look bad if i dont--do i look needy if i do?

 

ill do what the majority thinks--so think it over well

 

thanks for your help

Barby Established Member

Barby

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I say by your daughter a gift but NOT Your ex! She doesn't respond to you so maybe she doesn't deserve anything else from you. I don't know your situation and if you did things to make her so bitter but either way my vote is:

 

A gift for your daughter...NOTHING for the ex.

 

I may be confused...does your daughter live with you or her Mother?

MassiveAtom Established Member

MassiveAtom

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Leave it alone, there is someone who deserves you more. YOU.

 

mA

zara Established Member

zara

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i'm with Barby - gift for your daughter and that's it.

Pocky Established Member

Pocky

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Get your daughter some gifts and send a nice impersonal holiday card to the mother (your ex).

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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WTF man!

 

another classic case of wimpus americanus here:

 

don't buy her krap, OK?! use the money you save to make some molitof cocktails and then drive by her house and throw them thru the window

Pocky Established Member

Pocky

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don't buy her krap, OK?! use the money you save to make some molitof cocktails and then drive by her house and throw them thru the window

 

She is still the mother of his child. And in all honesty, your "macho-male persona" is so old. It doesn't make you look cool, it just makes you look stupid.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Pocky

She is still the mother of his child. And in all honesty, your "macho-male persona" is so old. It doesn't make you look cool, it just makes you look stupid.

 

 

for people that don't have a sense of humor, my response above is called a JOKE, you know....laugh, funny, ha ha, etc...

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digger Established Member

digger

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so far its a landslide

 

i 'spose not getting her a damn thing would give her 1 extra thing to miss about me come to think of it

Barby Established Member

Barby

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Exactly!!! She doesn't deserve ANYTHING from you at this point!

Pocky Established Member

Pocky

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It's interesting that people are automatically assuming that she's at fault simply because he stated he still loves her and she has no interest in reconciling with him nor takes time to contact him. Divorcing someone because the relationship is unhappy or unhealthy doesn't make someone a bad person. Considering she stood by digger for 21 years and is the mother of his child, she deserves the same amount of respect that he'd give anyone else. Equal - nothing more, nothing less.

 

Don't give her a gift simply because it's unnecessary and inappropriate at this time. Sending an impersonal Christmas card implies that you aren't being spiteful, wish her no harm and you hope she has a nice holiday. Like I said, she's still the mother of your child and deserves some respect. If not for propriety reasons, then at least for the benefit of your daughter.

MassiveAtom Established Member

MassiveAtom

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No assumption of fault on my part. In these situations, no one is really EVER to blame when you think about it.

 

BUT, with the information available, It's seems pretty clear. There is nothing Digger should do but care for his daughter.

 

His ex, obviously doesn't WANT him to care about her.

 

Alpha, I got the joke. Next time try a smilie, though!:) . There's a fine line here between humor and angst my friend! :laugh:

 

MAybe not a molotov cocktail, how about a big ol serving of NO CONTACT! Thry that digger. ANd find thee a date!

 

 

Take care of YOURSELF and you daughter man.

 

as always,

 

mA

 

:bunny:

MassiveAtom Established Member

MassiveAtom

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Originally posted by Pocky

Divorcing someone because the relationship is unhappy or unhealthy doesn't make someone a bad person.

 

No, not a bad person, but a person who doesn't understand the intent and spirit of the marriage vow. "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do us part," becomes extrememly hollow when juxtaposed to "PETITION FOR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE. "

 

You can't blame someone for not understanding, or even being ignorant of the full force and effect of Marriage, no more than you can blame a child for not knowing how to cope with divorce.

 

I just think Mrs. Reeve is a magnificent woman for honoring her commitment to her husband until death did them part. Anyone who opts for divorce because of emotional reasons just doesn't get it.

 

no judgement call or anything.

 

hey maybe a new thread....... :)

 

 

mA

izzybelle Established Member

izzybelle

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how old is your daughter?

 

i'm divorced and don't get my ex a present but i do take the kids to shop for a present for him from them, which i obviously pay for. my ex's fiance offered to take my daughter this year but she wanted to go with me. i would have preferred that his fiance pay for it, but it's not a big deal. but my kids are 11 and 13 and i know in time, as they get older, i'll stop taking them.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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Originally posted by Pocky

Like I said, she's still the mother of your child and deserves some respect. If not for propriety reasons, then at least for the benefit of your daughter.

 

 

RESPECT, like aretha said works both ways. She is showing total lack of respect for him and he should do likewise. In a perfect world we would still have respect for those who disrespect us but in the real world this does not fly.

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digger Established Member

digger

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im glad the most of you dont turn and say "maybe theres a good reason she divorced you"...maybe there was...but no dad should be treated like i have

on my daughters part..i try not to feel sorry for MYSELF..but if i saw it happen to anybody else id certainly feel sorry for HIM.

MassiveAtom Established Member

MassiveAtom

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Don't feel sorry for me. But Digger, Look no further!! LOL! :laugh:

Pocky Established Member

Pocky

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RESPECT, like aretha said works both ways. She is showing total lack of respect for him and he should do likewise. In a perfect world we would still have respect for those who disrespect us but in the real world this does not fly.

 

Someone should be the adult and do things because it's the right thing to do. Treating her the same way she's treating him doesn't make it right. And considering his daughter just recently started talking to him again it might be a good idea to make sure he conducts himself in a considerate and respectful manner.

Ladyjane14 Established Member

Ladyjane14

Posted
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Originally posted by digger

but no dad should be treated like i have

on my daughters part..

 

If memory serves, she's in her late teens or early 20's?

 

She may look all grown up digger, but she's still a kid. Young peopla act in immature ways. It's because they are NOT mature yet. :)

 

Be patient. Stay in contact. Spoil her when you can, even. :) She'll grow up and she'll do fine if she sees an example of maturity in you.

 

And I'm with Pocky on the impersonal card for your ex-wife. But get your daughter something nice. :)

Merin Established Member

Merin

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Get your Daughter a gift.

 

Your EXW.. send a Christmas Card if you wish.. but honestly I think a gift under these circumstances isn't appropriate.

 

P.S. Get ME a gift too... :lmao: JK JK JK

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digger Established Member

digger

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thanks for all your input---funny how timing works out--i got a call from my daughter this evening--it was very freindly and sfe started to tell me about her trip to Texas--she says mom wants to move there and started crying--she doesnt want to leave her boyfreind---i asked her if she (ex) had a job---daughter says yeah not only that she has a boyfreind---turns out its the guy who was her boss here and left for there cause he hated this town. I shoulda known all the time.

Daughter says (crying) shes not leaving and mom will find a way to let her stay if she can. I mean is absolutely awful what shes spewing around--as in separable as they both are to tell her that. Or maybe it was like WELL YOU CAN STAY IF YOU WANT TO!!! The hurt keeps getting worse. Im sorry I even posted this question. How moronic of me. Why would i even consider getting a piece of **** like that a gift??

Devildog Established Member

Devildog

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Sounds to me like your ex has a bad case of guilt digger. My STBXW has been the same way to me. She has treated me like dirt and criticizes everything about me. She has even started telling her extended family, most of whom thought I was wonderful, some truly vile and evil things about me, none of which is true. All in an effort to obscure the fact that she, as a married woman, was running around with another man. It doesn't make any sense why someone who promised to love you forever and wants to part as friendly as possible would be so mean and spiteful. But when they can't justify reality, they find ways to make you the bad guy.

 

Don't buy her crap. You have no obligations to her at this point.

 

Or buy her a christmas stocking and fill it to the brim with coal, and hang it on her door :lmao:

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