Fufu Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Just been told by a mutual friend that my ex has slept with someone else and has been mentioning it on the sly. I'm ok, I'm ok, I'm ok. I've cried it out with a close friend of mine and I think I'm ok. Just hurt and shocked again. Does anyone have any words that will help me when I wake up and remember? Why would your friend said such a thing to you? I seriously don't care whether it is true or false, but anything to do with your ex should be out of bounds to you.
Fufu Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Thank you everyone, these were the first things i read when I woke up and you guys gave me a reason to smile. It hurts a lot and i could analyse everything until I don't know what I'm thinking anymore but i'm sick of doing that. It's over. The person I loved, and who DID love me very deeply for most of the relationship, is gone. He has changed. Everyone has said so, even him. This is what he wanted. To be single, to 'find himself'. You guys warned me that 'finding himself' probably meant this but I couldn't believe it. I thought I knew him. He is just a young adult wanting to explore his options, spread his 'wild oats' and act like a bit of a player while he can. Sadly I am not like that. I am not interested in purely physical relationships. I am the sort of person who falls in love deeply and enjoys that connection more than the distance that comes with just sex. Sure, it's right for some people and good for them! But I like how I am, I like being able to love someone with everything and I will not change that for him. This break up was beyond my control. He wanted out to be single so that he could do this. He is not the loving, caring guy that I knew anymore. I just have to get over the past memories now and realise he won't be like that again. We were young when we met, people change a lot when they're a young adult. Sadly he changed in a way that I never thought possible whereas I went the other way. Not only is he undeserving of my love but i am better than this. I do no deserve this just because I loved someone with my everything and would have given him the world. I. am. better. than. this. And one day someone is going to realise this and truly cherish me. This will happen to us all. Move on and you can do it
Author Emma1234 Posted October 16, 2013 Author Posted October 16, 2013 Thank you Fufu i know i will eventually, just waiting for these feelings and thoughts to be permanently gone
forgetmenot75 Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 I didn't look for this information, I completely trust no contact which includes not hearing about him but it was the first time I'd seen this friend since the break up, they are quite close to him, and they made the comment that 'oh I hear he has been saying on the sly that he's sleeping with someone else, how're you doing' type thing. What a bitch of friend you have. go no contact with them too 1
forgetmenot75 Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 I always vote for imagining the worst. YES they are ****ing someoned else YES they are more in love with that person than you YES they enjoy it and have great orgasms YES they will do all the thing you did and go to all the cool places you went ecetera Imagine this.. cry your eyes out and tell your self IT IS OVER repeatedly. Totaly mourn the loss. After hours of crying for days soon you get desensitized to the idea of them getting nailed by a new person. Just dive in deep to the pain!!!!! This technique hepled me a lot. It gets hard to stay upset over it after a while. Cav This ^ ^! Specially the better orgasms part!
JDPT Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 As the saying goes "what you don't know won't hurt". I'm glad you made it clear that you don't care to know anything about your ex. Don't generate fictitious scenerios in your head. Don't assume what they are or not doing, just don't think about your ex. Force yourself and work towards rerouting your thoughts. Don't over analyze anything. I view my ex as a stranger someone who I wouldn't think twice about if I past her on the street. Do not allow your mind to play tricks on you, leave the past where it belongs. I'm sorry you were told about this. You shouldn't feel inferior at all, you are your own person, worry about what you need to do to propel yourself forward, in time the pain will subside. 1
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