ScienceGal Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Also, if you're looking for a relationship, you shouldn't engage in "hook ups". Find a like-minded man who is also looking for a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleDemon Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 He knows about past trauma in my childhood and how much it hurts me to be used for my body. He apologized but I don't understand how anyone could do that and I don't know why I'm not good enough Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Thanks for being honest with me. I just wish he loved me. We've all wished that at one point. And, many of us are glad it didn't happen. You live, learn, and move on. Once you meet someone who treats you well, you'll see how much of a waste of time this guy was. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 He knows about past trauma in my childhood and how much it hurts me to be used for my body. He apologized but I don't understand how anyone could do that and I don't know why I'm not good enough You should go to therapy if you aren't already. Given your history, your issues run deep, and you're likely not going to learn from this on your own. The problem is, you are good enough, but you don't think you are. It's so bad, that you put yourself in an impossible situation (yes, trying to be with him is a losing battle) and you stay, allowing yourself to be used over and over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleDemon Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 You're probably right. He's the only person I've ever told though about what happened to me when I was a child. I'm a little more attached to him because of that Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 What a pig, I hope his girlfriend finds out and dumps him!! And when that happens hopefully you won't take him back!! Why do people reinforce this behavior. So let me get one thing straight, you guys dated while he was in a relationship????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleDemon Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 No we were hooking up for two years before but it ended badly. He started dating her and about a year later started contacting me again. He was with her when he first texted me but we didn't do anything. He kept trying though and was a little more persistent so I gave in . That's when he told me he had been broken up with his gf but they were back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleDemon Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 They broke up recently I believe but he started this months ago when they were still together. I'm not sure why Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Why does he keep coming back to you? Because he knows that you'll have sex with him. It's as simple as that. Has nothing to do with feelings whatsoever. Why put out effort to have sex when he can just call you up and you'll do it with little prompting? As far as men go, how a man feels about you when he first gets intimate with you is how he'll always perceive you. If he is romantically interested in a long-term relationship, he'll up the ante. If he sees you as a girl to date but not to marry, you'll be just that and nothing else. If he sees you as a hookup or a fun time, that's what you'll always be. Never sleep with a guy to hook a guy. Unless he's a doormat with no self-esteem, it won't work. And if he's a doormat with low self-esteem, you probably don't want him in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleDemon Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 I know he comes back because it's easy but when we first got intimate he liked me and tried to make it more. I just didn't put any effort in so it became something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Solcita2 Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Instead of wasting your time asking WHY HE DOES IT, I would suggest you to ask yourself WHY YOU DO IT TO YOURSELF... You're just easy sex for him... he comes to you whenever he wants to have sex and his relationship is too complicated... you're the other women, without the emotional part of the affair... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I know he comes back because it's easy but when we first got intimate he liked me and tried to make it more. I just didn't put any effort in so it became something else. Why are you talking about the distant past as if it has any relevance? It doesn't. He is not into you in that way and will never be into you in that way again. Stop trying to figure it out -- there's nothing to figure out. Figure out how to control yourself, not him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LittleDemon Posted October 17, 2013 Author Share Posted October 17, 2013 I understand I need to stick up for myself and not let him use me. I don't need to be told that I just need to figure out how. I also how to figure out how to let go and not feel so bad about the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
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