Guys Night vs. Girls Night

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I'm not talking about purely sexual terms. I also doubt most men will "screw bench holes". If you truly think so, your awareness of the male gender is lacking.

 

And no, most men will be overlooked by average women for most of their life.

 

This is the general problem. Some women have difficulty acknowledging the female privilege in this society. They don't understand men and don't try to because they don't really need to, due to their privilege.

[Pompeii]

This is the general problem. Some women have difficulty acknowledging the female privilege in this society. They don't understand men and don't try to because they don't really need to, due to their privilege.

 

They don't have to, exactly right. There's a thread in the sexual section about prostitution. The guy resorted to the prostitute route and women can't comprehend why he did it. The problem women have is filtering men's issues through women eyes. It doesn't work like that.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Oh, when we hit the clubs we definitely don't accept drinks or dance with guys. We might chat to them a bit if they come over to be polite, and bring up boyfriends straight away, but I'd never lead one on. I'd rather he upfront, carry on having fun with my girls and he go off and find a single girl to chat up.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Okay, “brilliant” research you have there. Let’s break it down:

 

 

 

 

 

This one was based on an investigation from sociologists from the University of Cincinnati, Pennsylvania State University, Rutgers University and Austin University of Texas. It was based on longitudinal data from 5305 men and women between 1993 and again in 2004. It was subsequently compared with 120 in-depth interviews of never married, married, divorced and widowed men and women. There was no reference cited whatsoever but upon checking the comments I could retrieve a Livescience article (Marriage Drives Women to Drink, Study Suggests | LiveScience) that pointed out what survey they based it on.

 

 

 

 

Thank goodness, this was one has a reference to the article. It leads to the University of Cincinnati webpage and described the survey:

 

 

 

“About the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study (WLS)

The WLS is a long-term survey of 10,317 men and women who graduated high school in 1957. Respondents were interviewed their senior year in high school, as well as at age 35-36 (in 1975), 53-54 (in 1993) and 64-65 (2004). The UC study was based on the analysis of 5,305 respondents, including 2,439 men and 2,866 women – participants in a random sample of the WLS that received questions about alcohol use. The respondents were primarily white.”

 

 

Those years and numbers look familiar? 2439 + 2866 = 5305. It is just using the same article as the first one.

 

 

Additional info found here: the 120 interviews are based on 2 separate studies each consisting of 60 people. The studies are called “The Marital Quality Over the Life Course Project” and “The relationship and health habits over the life course project”.

 

 

 

 

Quote from the link: “For their research, they studied data from three separate surveys, including one long-term survey that provided information on more than 5,000 Wisconsin residents' alcohol habits, gathered four times during a 47-year period.”

 

 

More than 5000 residents from Wisconsin – coincidence? But the notion that it was checked four times (Respondents were interviewed their senior year in high school, as well as at age 35-36 (in 1975), 53-54 (in 1993) and 64-65 (2004)) AND during a 47 year period (1957 – 2004 = 47 years) makes it most certainly that this is AGAIN the same article they are referring to.

 

 

 

 

“Lead researcher Corinne Reczek, assistant professor in sociology at the University of Cincinnati, and her team looked at data collected from surveys of a random sample of 5,000 Wisconsin high school graduates of the class of 1957. Researchers conducting the study contacted each of the subjects four times over a 47-year period. Reczek and her team examined survey responses from this group, after which they conducted in-depth interviews with 120 of the to determine why their drinking habits changed.”

 

Not even going to comment here – same article.

 

 

 

 

“The Wisconsin Longitudinal Study survey provided long-term data on 10,317 men and women who graduated high school in 1957. The Marital Quality Over the Life Course Project provided 60 in-depth interviews with 30 heterosexual couples conducted between 2003 and 2006, and another 60 in-depth interviews conducted between 2007 and 2010 with married and divorced men and women came from the Relationships and Health Habits Over the Life Course Study”.

 

 

And again it is the same article. So let’s get this clear – you provided one source so far. Your research probably consisted of submitting “marriage women men alcohol” into Google and copy/paste the first 5 popular website links in your post. Absolutely fantastic job!

 

 

Let’s take a closer look at what the conclusions of this source, based on 1 longitudinal study and 2 interview studies, are:

 

 

“New research examining relationships and the use of alcohol finds that while a long-term marriage appears to curb men’s drinking, it’s associated with a slightly higher level of alcohol use among women.”

 

 

That already sounds WAY less dramatic then they way your initial articles presented it. It does not even come closely to support in anyway your ideas about “girls night out”. This little snippet that was apparently great out-of-context material for bogus websites you used as source material was based on long-term marriages in which the women’s drinking was slightly higher than that of their husbands.

 

 

However, based on the interview studies (and then combined with the longitudinal study):

 

 

“ -"In each marital status category, men consumed a greater average number of drinks than women "

 

- Across every marital status category, a higher proportion of men also reported having at least one drinking-related problem.

- Women who were divorced or widowed consumed significantly fewer drinks, on average, than married women.

- Recently divorced men reported consuming a significantly greater average number of drinks than men in long-term marriages.

- Reporting at least one drinking-related problem was significantly higher among long-term divorced and recently divorced women than long-term married women.”

 

 

Which contradicts their earlier finding that women drink more than men. All I have gathered from this data that women in marriages apparently men drink MORE before marriage, during marriage women climb or slightly exceed to the level of their husbands and after marriage women’s drinking declines again. The authors make no further comments on why they are doing this – they suggest that it might be because of the lifestyle of the husband. But in no way is it deduced that married women pick up a party lifestyle – that’s just your imagination pal.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah Einstein, your findings were absolutely genius. How you found a couple of popular webpages that all referred to the same study that did not even come to the conclusion you and these webpages are deriving from it and then making this leap of faith that its because of women’s party lifestyle. GREAT research for sure.

 

*slow applause*

 

Nicely done.

[chucksagent]

*slow applause*

 

Nicely done.

 

Nicely done???

 

Not at all.

 

A study is done by professionals and given NATIONAL attention and you people toss it aside like it means nothing? And I AM the moron??? Lol. DO you reallize what needs to be done to have a study PUBLISHED NATIONALLY and accepted by professional journals?

 

You people clearly aren't academics and I would appreciate you not dragging intelligent discussions down with your biased pre-conceived notions.

 

I never even SAID women in general drink more. I simply said, why all of a sudden, have I noticed a SHIFT?!? I was called CRAZY by one of you like I was from Mars. So I looked out to see if anyone else noticed this trend. AND YES, RESEARCHERS, THERAPISTS, and SCIENTISTS also happened to notice this. But hey, you guys can "slow clap" and "tear down studies in a cute fashion" so you must be right, and those people whose JOB IT IS to study the data be wrong. How silly of me.

 

And a conclusion is just that...a CONCLUSION...the data is the data and ANYBODY can come to different conclusions on the given data. That is the analysis part. That is why we have websites like this, for people to discuss and try to come to conclusions.

 

The PROBLEM is that you have sensitive MORONS who refuse to look at and examine HARD DATA (FACTS) because somehow (not sure how) it hurts their ego...so heaven forbid we have an educated and friendly discussion about it.

 

This is why a few of you out here are just TERRIBLE. I started this darn thread off ASKING for people to not be super angry and defensive because THIS ISNT AIMED AT ANYONE. I said "this doesn't apply across the board." Usually only people get defensive when something is aimed directly at them. Hmmmmmm I wonder if we have some "wine-o's" on our hands. Lol.

[chucksagent]

And my deduction was NEVER "married women pick up a party lifetyle."

 

Where...where did I say that?

 

Wine festivals aren't "party lifestyle." Wine tourts aren't "party lifestyle"

 

It is a SIMPLE QUESTION - why do male get togethers so often NOT include alcohol, but it seems like many women's activities include alcohol?

 

Now, I understand there are TONS of degenerate men out there who drink and drink and drink and have problems. I am speaking ONLY to those people out there who HAVE no problems. A married couple with neither party being an alcoholic. The man doesn't need alcohol to have fun or hang with his boys, but soooooo often, the females want to include wine or martinis or the bar.

[chucksagent]

I'm not a person who has anything to hide or to defend or who is uncertain of themselves. A lot of the "knocks" you guys had on men are spot on.

 

My wife is more empathetic than I am. She is more caring then I am. She is more giving than I am. She has less of an ego than I do. She's a better person than I am. These things have NOTHING to do with the fact, though, that 90% of her girlfriends, married and single, LOVE to bring over wine, drink wine, watch movies with wine, go to happy hour, for martini's, etc. And if my buddies come over to watch a movie or play a video game, we drink Diet Pepsi. Lol.

 

I talked to some guys at work, they said they have the same dynamic with their friends/wives.

 

This wasn't a full out assault on WOMEN...lol...it was a simple trend I noticed and asked to have dialogue about. I didn't ask you people if I was wrong or right. I asked why there was a shift - even if only in my circle, which apparently isn't the case the deeper we look.

 

Some people on here made some VERY good theories...about men gather for an activity whereas women gather to chat. Another theory I heard was that men are more prone to say "no" and more prone to not do what the group is doing just cause the group is. I.e. My single buddies will often drink if we are watching football, but I feel no pressure to. If my wife is watching a movie with me she won't grab a bottle of wine usually (unless being romantic), but if a friend is over, they always do. BECAUSE, most of her friends love wine, so she wants them to feel comfortable and will drink a few glasses with them. I feel no need to "make my buddies feel comfortable."

[man_in_the_box]

You have got to be kidding me.

[hotpotato]

I'm not talking about purely sexual terms. I also doubt most men will "screw bench holes". If you truly think so, your awareness of the male gender is lacking.

 

And no, most men will be overlooked by average women for most of their life.

 

Hmmm...I must disagree. Most men simply are not picky about their sexual partners. Many guys dont have to like a woman physically or otherwise to have sex with her. When men get horny their standards drop. A lot.

 

Even if she is very unattractive with a bad attitude she is still another notch on the belt.

[chucksagent]

hotpotato - you are right..there are MANY men like that. I have a friend who has hooked up with women he wont even show us pictures of he is so embarrassed. "Any port in a storm" is an old saying. Lol.

[hotpotato]

This is the general problem. Some women have difficulty acknowledging the female privilege in this society. They don't understand men and don't try to because they don't really need to, due to their privilege.

 

Im not sure if being a piece of meat is a privilege.

 

At best, you can say that both sides have advantages and disadvantages.

 

Seriously? Women spend a lot of time trying to understand men. Do they need read books, mags, come to sites like ls???

[chucksagent]

Im not sure if being a piece of meat is a privilege.

 

At best, you can say that both sides have advantages and disadvantages.

 

Seriously? Women spend a lot of time trying to understand men. Do they need read books, mags, come to sites like ls???

 

HotPotato - You are right. Women always CLAIM to want to know about men. Maybe its more of a comprehension issue then. Because he is right about a lot of what he says regarding women ACCEPTING (maybe better way to say it) how men are. Like they ask you, you tell them, and then they keep moving forward not utilizing the knowledge.

 

Men are simple...and if you get one who is complicated, he isn't worth the chase. He is either being complicated because he knows it will interest you. Or he is being complicated because he has issues.

 

I call it the 4 F's. Fun, food, friends, "F (wink)."

 

1) Have FUN with us and be FUN. (Both traditionally and intellectually)

2) Feed us.

3) Let us keep our friends/spend time with our friends.

4) And the "F" is for adult activities you can probably figure out.

[hotpotato]

Most men will never get the type of attention from the opposite sex like the average women does, so your point is invalid.

 

Lolz are you sure thats what you want? I got to another site where men tend to be very good looking. Some of them complained that girls couldnt get past the physical. Girls would even make assumptions about them. In other words, these guys got treated like the average woman and HATED it! Im sure it was fun at first, but they grew tired of it.

[King_Crimson]

Hmmm...I must disagree. Most men simply are not picky about their sexual partners. Many guys dont have to like a woman physically or otherwise to have sex with her. When men get horny their standards drop. A lot.

 

Even if she is very unattractive with a bad attitude she is still another notch on the belt.

 

I'm not like that and most of my guy friends are the same. In fact, I know more men who are picky than not haha (although I must say my best friend was a bit of a slut at one point... don't know how he could do it).

 

Meh, to each his own I suppose...

[chucksagent]

I'm not like that and most of my guy friends are the same. In fact, I know more men who are picky than not haha (although I must say my best friend was a bit of a slut at one point... don't know how he could do it).

 

Meh, to each his own I suppose...

 

Agreed.

 

In my group it's about 1/3 1/3 and 1/3.

 

1/3 TALK picky and act picky.

1/3 TALK picky but screw anything.

1/3 TALK easy and ARE easy. LOL.

 

That's why I ALWAYS say "talk is cheap." 2/3 Talk picky but only 1/3 act it. Lol. Life is all about acts.

[serial muse]

Nicely done???

 

Not at all.

 

A study is done by professionals and given NATIONAL attention and you people toss it aside like it means nothing? And I AM the moron??? Lol. DO you reallize what needs to be done to have a study PUBLISHED NATIONALLY and accepted by professional journals?

 

You people clearly aren't academics and I would appreciate you not dragging intelligent discussions down with your biased pre-conceived notions.

 

I never even SAID women in general drink more. I simply said, why all of a sudden, have I noticed a SHIFT?!? I was called CRAZY by one of you like I was from Mars. So I looked out to see if anyone else noticed this trend. AND YES, RESEARCHERS, THERAPISTS, and SCIENTISTS also happened to notice this. But hey, you guys can "slow clap" and "tear down studies in a cute fashion" so you must be right, and those people whose JOB IT IS to study the data be wrong. How silly of me.

 

And a conclusion is just that...a CONCLUSION...the data is the data and ANYBODY can come to different conclusions on the given data. That is the analysis part. That is why we have websites like this, for people to discuss and try to come to conclusions.

 

The PROBLEM is that you have sensitive MORONS who refuse to look at and examine HARD DATA (FACTS) because somehow (not sure how) it hurts their ego...so heaven forbid we have an educated and friendly discussion about it.

 

This is why a few of you out here are just TERRIBLE. I started this darn thread off ASKING for people to not be super angry and defensive because THIS ISNT AIMED AT ANYONE. I said "this doesn't apply across the board." Usually only people get defensive when something is aimed directly at them. Hmmmmmm I wonder if we have some "wine-o's" on our hands. Lol.

 

One study is hardly a scientific consensus. man in the box has already ably disarmed your argument by pointing out that you repeatedly cited exactly one study that happened to be covered by multiple media outlets. I'm going to take it a bit further, and try to explain why you're wrong about this study, despite your nasty insinuations ("winos on our hands", "you people aren't academics", "sensitive MORONS who refuse to look at and examine hard data", "thanks for your educated input", "a few of you out here are just TERRIBLE"). Charming, by the way.

 

As it happens, I suspect I am better equipped, academically speaking, to understand the study than you are. If I recall correctly, you are not an academic yourself; you're a lawyer. Don't open a door you can't go through yourself.

 

So let's look at this study, and then let's look at the premise of this thread, and then let's see who's got the biased pre-conceived notions.

 

Your assertion: that married/taken women's get-togethers involve alcohol more than in the past, and that men's don't.

 

The assertion of the study: married women drink more heavily than single women, and men who are happily married drink less. And, THOSE SAME RESEARCHERS CONCLUDE, this is because "women can help keep their husbands’ drinking habits under control, men are simply a bad influence on their wives. " (quote from the Telegraph link you posted).

 

Interesting how you glossed over that part. You just want to support your assertion that married women party more than married men. That is the very definition of a biased, pre-conceived notion; you're cherry-picking findings that you think are going to support that hypothesis. But, see, you can't just willfully ignore the bits that don't support your hypothesis. To wit: Where/when that drinking happens, exactly, and with whom. The researchers are suggesting that it is male influence upon women that causes heavier drinking; and, in fact, they do not suggest that, overall, WOMEN DRINK MORE THAN MEN. Instead, they suggest that married women drink more than single women, and married men less than single men. And, they don't say whether those married women are drinking with their other married female friends...or with their husbands. Contrary to another part of your hypothesis, they also do NOT compare this gender breakdown to married/single men/women in the past, because they don't have that data. NO SHIFT. See? They do not say there's a shift.

 

See the gaping flaws in your logic now? Sure hope so. In short, this study doesn't say at all what you think it does.

 

So please stop saying insulting crap like "you people clearly aren't academics". You want to talk the talk, you'd better be able to walk the walk.

Edited October 17, 2013 by serial muse

[kiss_andmakeup]

I drink more since moving in with my fiancé than I did before. Why? Because he likes to enjoy a beer or two after work every day, whereas I never really did when I lived alone. Now I join him and have a beer too, or a glass of wine.

 

So I would technically fit in with the study you're citing, but it has literally nothing to do with what I do or don't do with my friends. It has to do with the fact that I'm spending more time with my partner, and he drinks more than I did in the past.

 

I have a feeling that I'm not alone in having this experience.

[chucksagent]

kissandmakeup - No, I think you said it perfectly kissandmakeup.

 

This theory supports what ONE of the studies concluded AND a few people on here concluded. That it's the people you surround yourself with.

 

i.e. - I have NEVER been the "get home and crack open a beer" type. I'm was always a social drinker. Go out on a Friday or Saturday night; or in college a Thursday night....get drunk...have laughs with friends and chase girls.

 

Well, now that I have THE girl, I suppose I look at it like, the hangover isn't worth it now. Whereas my wife and her friends don't necessarily drink to get drunk, but just like wine and catching a small buzz. (probably lots of men AND women like that).

 

And I don't think it's limited to man/woman or husband/wife - I think friends can influence the amount you drink also.

[chucksagent]

Just found this from another study online:

 

“People tend to do what others in the same flock do, if you spend more time with individuals that have a higher incidence of doing drugs or alcohol you will develop similar habits,” agrees Richard Ager, associate professor at New Orleans’ Tulane School of Social Work. ”People tend to engage in the behaviors of people they surround themselves with.”

 

Pretty much sums up what we've all been saying. Well, most of us, who haven't been trying to act like I am crazy.

 

I even said "Maybe it's just in my circle" - - -I said that SPECIFICALLY and per usual on this website, people hear Charlie Browns mom and say "That isn't the case you crazy maniac!!!" How exactly can you tell me what is and what isn't the case in my social circle?

 

Coolit - If you go back and re-read my post, I said "maybe just my social circle" and "always" was applying TO MY SOCIAL CIRCLE. I didn't mean ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD DO THIS. Lol. Sorry if there was confusion but I didn't think anyone would get that out of my post.

[chucksagent]

Perhaps a study from the CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL will help also. I realize a mere one scientific study means nothing to all of you elites...but perhaps one more will help just a tad.

 

Too Many Girls and Women Binge Drink, CDC Says:

One in eight women and one in five high-school girls binge drink, a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says. - See more at: Too Many Girls and Women Binge Drink, CDC Says

[chucksagent]

Richard Ager, associate professor at New Orleans' Tulane School of Social Work, says he isn't surprised by the findings:

 

"People tend to do what others in the same flock do, if you spend more time with individuals that have a higher incidence of doing drugs or alcohol you will develop similar habits," Ager told ABC News.

 

"People tend to engage in the behaviors of people they surround themselves with."

 

As women drink more to match their men, men in turn tone it down and imbibe less - especially those who are happily married, according to the research.

 

I believe I said the SAME EXACT THING about happily married men especially toning it down. There are a LARGE portion of men who aren't alcoholics whose PRIMARY reasons for going to bars is to drink enough to have the guts and bravery to hit on a woman that night.

 

Ask many guys and they will admit, their love of hanging with the boys is NOT dependent on alcohol AT ALL. Guys who REALLY love booze or who are alcoholics might feel that way, but the rest of us boring guys, we have no need for it. Lol. We'd rather pass on the hangover and just have fun.

[chucksagent]

A study presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association has revealed a number of little known facts about the drinking culture within marriage, some that will surprise you.

 

ANNUAL MEETING OF AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION.....

.....

.......FACTS.......

 

So we now have seen these produce FACTS:

 

1) University of Wisconsin

2) University of Cincinnati

3) Tulane

4) American Sociological Association

 

 

But I am just some maniac who is attacking women. I never even said WOMEN ACROSS THE COUNTRY - I said my circle and you people went on the offensive.

[chucksagent]

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology performed by researchers at the University of Missouri found that those who reported that they were in a happy marriage lived longer, healthier lives than their less happy married peers.

 

Although studies show that married couples are slightly healthier than cohabiting couples, being in a long-term stable relationship seems to be the key to health and longevity. Men, in particular, benefit from this. A study published in the European Journal of Preventative Cardiology found that unmarried men living alone had a 66% higher risk of a coronary event than those who were cohabiting. In addition, married men drink significantly less than men who are single. Data taken from almost 200,000 people in a national health survey shows that the risk of mortality for men in a cohabiting relationship drops by 80%, whereas the drop for women is only 59%. In addition, married women tend to drink more than when they were single.

 

Does Being Married Really Lead to a Healthier, Longer Life? :: New Leaf Chiropractic and Family Wellness

[Pompeii]

Seriously? Women spend a lot of time trying to understand men. Do they need read books, mags, come to sites like ls???

 

That's not trying to understand men. That's trying to know how to get a man, not knowing the basis of male psychology.

 

You want to understand men? Read this book: The Way of Men

[man_in_the_box]

The report, based on people situated in Wisconsin, came from a woman stationed at the University of Cincinnati and it was presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association. Unless can present a new article from one of these sources it appears still to be the same article you are talking about.

 

The professor in Tulane just gave a comment about the study - that's not a new source. That's just secondary information.

 

The CDC info is interesting nonetheless but what does it have to do with married women's drinking behaviour? It does not specifiy any kind of women nor does it compare with men's drinking behaviour.