Starnette83 Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 ive posted here alot of me and my bf... hes 20, im 21, we met when i was 17 and him 16..i was his first gf, he was my 2nd, but serious one.. we lost our virginity together and fell in love... we been through happy times and ROCKY TIMES, breakups of one month no contact but somehow got back... this week is our 4 year anniversary and im so happy!! i love him with all my heart and hope he one day marries me... BUT HERE COMES THE CONFUSION PART: can it work out??? cuz doesnt he have to expeience being with other girls that way he wont be curious and really realize if he loves me? cuz i really dont care if i dont date anyone else cuz i love him and he makes me happy but if i talk about the future with him, as in marriage or anything of comitment he gets annoyed and stuff so i try not to mention it, i dont wanna get married now but i do wanna know will he ever marry me, like when im 26 and him 25..i mean im really willing to wait, but i want to also know im not wasting my time... any advice????
Naive Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 This sounds so familiar to me. I think that as long as both of you are willing to be together forever it can difitely work out.
Patiently waiting Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 Well, my ex MM met his wife when she was 17, she is now 42. She has never been with anyone else sexually. He was not a virgin when they met, but not real experienced either. He was 19 when they met, he remained faithful as far as I know once they were married (not real sure about during their dating period as he was in college in a different state) until he turned 33. He has been unfaithful on and off since then. He is now 44. He just today decided he is going to try to be faithful from now on. There is really no way of knowing what will come in the future as I met my stbex H when I was 23, (neither of us were virgins) married at 26. He cheated on me just this year, age 37. I don't know if age or experience has a lot to do with it, I think it really depends on the persons morals, love and respect for the other person.
Author Starnette83 Posted December 7, 2004 Author Posted December 7, 2004 hmm...well im really hoping that my bf never cheats on me or me on him and that we always remain together, im scared tho cuz hes leaving to another school 2-3 hours away and dorming there and for some reason i feel that it will creat problems in our realatipnship and may evenm end it:( i hate thinking about it, and try not to but its always in back of my mind, making me feel the time with him is limited, i love him to death and i know we are both young but he is the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with, and as i stated in other pages that id ont wanna marry now, i wanna marry at 26-28 but i just sometimes want to feel secure and know that it will happen, but i guess i wont know...and i jus tgotta have fun and be happy the time im with him, but i dont wanna lose him, im really attached and i do love him, and no other guys interest me the way my bf does. anyways love is weird..ahhh
EC Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 I have been there. My first love moved away and it didn't work out and I am glad. I met my recent bf and I have never been happier. He is turning 21 and I am 19. We are still young and yet we are in love. He goes to college 6 hours away and we have an LDR and we are actually making it work. At first it was hard and I was jealous that he was having fun without me and jealous of the girls and of him being faithful to me but I'm over all that. And now hes moving to a college 3 hours away instead of 6! He actually is the one that talks about marriage and stuff and I get all nervous and whacked out. lol BUt I feel that same way. I feel as if he needs to get other girls out of his system and experience other relationships before he really knows he wants to be with me. I am his first gf longer than a month and so I feel like he can't really know unless he has been heartbroken before or something You know? But oh well thats life..you have to wait and see and just appreciate and learn from all the moments you have with him.
truth giver Posted December 8, 2004 Posted December 8, 2004 sorry child..first love are somtimes meant to be first loves..but that doesnt mean its your true love..Most of the times first loves never ever ever stay together..and if they happen to be together its because they have seperated and got back together in the future.. you dont mind being with him and not dating anyone else because you DONT know what else is out there..and you both will find out. sorry hun its inedible...but if you guys get back together after findin gout what else is out there then thats when you know hes the one..and if you guys dont get back together and he finds somone better it wasnt meant to be hun.
daterhater Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 Oh boy. First loves. Let me tell you my story. I met a guy when I was 20. We fell in love and dated for 8 months. We lost our virginity to eachother. I was a little scared of the idea of being eachother's first loves because of all the "first loves don't work" talk. I was convinced we'd be the one to prove that theory wrong. Everything was beautiful. I was on cloud nine. I thought we'd get married and live happily ever after. However, that's not what happened. He broke up with me unexpectedly one day. I was miserable for the few months. I had a really tough time getting over him because I thought he was "the one." I was so mad at him for breaking my heart. To make a long story short: I don't believe in first loves working out. I t hink those who make it work are those who'd rather work harder at a relationship than take a stab at finding a better match. Right now I thank god me and him didn't work. I was so in love with love I didn't realize that there are guys out there who could make me happier.
Author Starnette83 Posted December 11, 2004 Author Posted December 11, 2004 ahh all this first love not working out is getting me down":( maybe u all are right..who knows....one day ill know tho...
daterhater Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Originally posted by Starnette83 ahh all this first love not working out is getting me down":( maybe u all are right..who knows....one day ill know tho... don't let it get you down. just live life and don't worry about the future. my mistake was worrying about the future too much.
EC Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Don't let it get you down. Every case is different. No one ever knows what will happen. Its a gamble.
Sukotto Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 First loves are a complicated thing. I've just started seeing my first love again after a 2.5 month split, I saw someone else and so did she but we both decided that our relationship never did get to run its due course, though there is definately some confused feelings between the two of us. I hope that we can work it out since the last 2.5 months were awfully lonely.
hART Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 My boyfriend and I have been together 7+ years now. He did have a female "friend" pursue him. It got farther than I wished (no intercourse or any of that, but I felt violated), but he stopped once he realized it was hurting me. Everyone gets curious, so I can't say it couldn't happen to you too. Before and after that incident he has been wonderful. My grandmother on one side was married to her husband for 50 years, before he died. I'm not sure if he was her first love or not. My other grandmother dropped out of college for her first love and he cheated on her after they got married and had two kids. My first love has lasted 7 years, who knows if it will last a lifetime. We all can certainly hope every relationship will last for a lifetime and try our best to make them last. If your relationship doesn't last after all your efforts, it wasn't meant to be.
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