my boyfiend broke up with me after 5years

[lucy1985]

Hi, about 2monnths ago,my boyfriend broke up with me and i still cannot get over it. In fact im devastated.Both of us our from different countries. when we both left to go home and to figure out what to do next he kept telling me we are not breaking up just separating for a while and he still loves me. The first month of our separation was very hard coz i was jealous and suspicious each time he came late or didnt get in touch with me. However he still kept telling me he misses me. I was getting frustrated day by day for not knowing how all this will end up, and he didnt seem to have plans for us at all.Coz regarding to him any direction we would go, its not going to work for us and he is a lot confused. Our conversation became full of blames and questions from my side, wanting me to desperately see him and hear some assurance that he still cares abt me. But he started to be full of excueses, that he must go out and his phone run out of battery etc etc.i could feel he was becoming more and more distant. And me more and more pushy, how comes that he loved me so much one day, having plans for us, thinking of marriage and kids, and promising me that he will be next to me forever, and i am like a family for him and best friend and losing me would kill him. he also made a tattoo on his arm **** me "always on your side". i just could not understand. its true we were having lots of fights recently and i had an issue of not trusting him enough (he lied to me couple of times) but despite all of it i could still not leave him, when i wanted to do it he would cry to dont do it. and in fact i was only threating him to let him change something finally. two weeks ago he texted me he is sorry but he wants to be alone, he doesnt wanna be with anybody, that he is not good in relationship. asking me to respect his decision, that is not me but him. and this is what he needs to do. as u can imagine it broke me up completely, all my hopes were gone, i could not bare the thought i will need to learn how to live without him, we had so many plans and dreams, we were so much in love, talking for hours and looking after each other. i started to send him messages like a crazy, but he kept saying he wants to be alone. i started to watch his facebook and saw that he is a friend with one girl who add him (she is a friend of his female friend) however she is 20 and my ex boyfriend is 30.they go out together and she likes his posts and pictures and he does the same, posting on her. when i asked him who is she and if he ever cared abt me to tell me the truth, but he said she is just a mutual friend and they do not sleep together or date each other. but she already started to send him hearts. how he could forget about me so easily after all the things he told me. i also booked the flight to see him but he said he doesnt want me to come, its useless and its better off this way, and if i would come i would miss him later. im so desperate and dont know what to do to get him back. i asked him to tell me he doesnt love me anymore, and he said he cannot say it, so i said are you loving me then? but he responded I DONT KNOW a lot of things has changed. I cannot bare he will be with somebody else, we were such an unseparatable couple and came through a lot together. I know i did wrong chasing him so much now, and being pushy, acting desperately, needy and showing him my tears. while he told me "do you want me to be with you just for a mercy"? how guy who loved me so so much, willing to die for me, would say smth so ugly like this? please somebody help me, is there any hope for us?

[Sadguy33]

I am in a very similar spot. its been a month after 5 years and i just am having trouble. its very hard. this is the place to be though