HeartBorken Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Can your relationship be better than ever if you work things out with an Ex? Is it easier to look past if they have slept with other people?
Never Again Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 If your ex slept with other people when they weren't with you...it's not your concern. You weren't with them. They were free to make their own decisions. A NEW relationship with an ex can be better than the old relationship...but only if you don't pick up where you left off. There has to be improvement, and it has to be a fresh beginning. 1
f1asr88 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 If your ex slept with other people when they weren't with you...it's not your concern. You weren't with them. They were free to make their own decisions. A NEW relationship with an ex can be better than the old relationship...but only if you don't pick up where you left off. There has to be improvement, and it has to be a fresh beginning. Well my ex broke up with me in order to be with and sleep with another guy, and a while later she decided she wanted me back. I have refused her requests to be together again, it was perfect before, and never would be again. About the sleeping with other people... well, if I were to break up with someone and be upset about it, the last thing I'd do is turn promiscuous and sleep around. If my ex did that and then wanted to reconcile, yes technically she would have been single, but it wouldn't help at all. It depends on timescales, if it had been a year since the breakup and she'd had a boyfriend or two, sure... If in the week after she'd been with a different guy every night?....No.
Romaks Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I sure hope so. The love of my life and I just recently split up (we were absolutely amazing together) because she realized that she had a lot of growing up and experiencing to do (I'm older so I've already had my share of that). I've already done a year and a half of college and I have done a lot of growing up after my senior year of high school, but she just now started her senior year and is now beginning to see how her life (career-wise) is going to be changing. We have the exact same life goals - kids, house, even future city, but our career goals have to split us apart for a few years, and I have no idea if we'll get back together after. I know for a fact a second chance would work if circumstances allowed for it once we settle down because our love never went away, and right now, we're both terribly missing each other.
Mariposa10 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Well my ex broke up with me in order to be with and sleep with another guy, and a while later she decided she wanted me back. I have refused her requests to be together again, it was perfect before, and never would be again. About the sleeping with other people... well, if I were to break up with someone and be upset about it, the last thing I'd do is turn promiscuous and sleep around. If my ex did that and then wanted to reconcile, yes technically she would have been single, but it wouldn't help at all. It depends on timescales, if it had been a year since the breakup and she'd had a boyfriend or two, sure... If in the week after she'd been with a different guy every night?....No. I agree. I think it depends on the context. I've read many stories on this forum about how exes have broken up just so they can sleep with other people. I don't know about that... OP, how long were you guys apart??
BC1980 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 It just depends on how long you do NC and do the self work you need to do. Most of the long term success stories seem to be from people who remained NC for a considerable length of time and worked on themselves. They went through the grieving process, let things go, and did things to better themselves. I think the big key is that you really have to become a better person for yourself and yourself alone. You cannot go into NC with a plan to get the ex back. That is self destructive and doesn't work in the long run. People who get back together right away are doing so because they are lonely and not thinking about the decision with any objectivity. I am in this process right now, and I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing this for myself. I am doing this for me. The ex might come back, or he might not. However, once I figured out that I needed to bring the focus back onto myself, so much has made sense.
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