heartbreak360 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Hello. So me and my wife have been married 2 years. The first night we met we had sex and started going out. Now she was hurt by her ex in the past by cheating on her and having kids with the mistress. They already had a kid together. 3 months later we got married and had a child 2months after that. In the meantime I cheated on her multiple times and she forgave me multiple times. I didnt appreciate her. Later I broke up with her and told her the reason was because i was not physically attracted to her. Six months later I had time to reflect on everything I did. I realized all the things I did and could not believe myself. I was a monster. I have deep regret and realized that girl could not love me any harder. I asked her to try with me again even though i didn't deserve it.If she said no I would've understood.Eventually I tried doing things to win her back. She said she didn't know at the beginning and should start slow and eventually agreed to try and work it out. I asked her to start a clean slate for both of us with honesty. She admitted to sleeping with one guy during the split up and that hurt but couldnt blame her.I felt she was hiding something so i convinced her to let me search her phone. I installed spyware on it and thats where it all came out. She was not being honest with me. There was a guy with a gf asking her if they would work if he was single. she said that she would consider him. All the while trying to work it out with me, I also found that she was in love with ANOTHER guy. What I found is that she was "breaking up" with him im guessing because of me. She keeps telling him that it hurts her to leave him BUT still wants him to fight for her.She repeats that constantly. S he tells him that she feels that her life is over and feels naked and dead with no meaning.They are soon meeting to talk in person. Im sure they are going to have sex knowing her. What should I do? Should I confront them and then let her go right after I tell him the truth about what shes been doing behind all the guys' backs? Should I forgive her for her lying when we were supposed to be on a clean slate? I need someone to analyze please help!
Philosoraptor Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 So you married her 3 months into knowing her, both cheated, and she wants the guy she cheated with to fight for her? Get a divorce. Neither of you seem mature enough for a committed relationship. She was rebounding when she met you and still not over her past, and she's still not over it. 1
Criticality Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Honestly? Compared to you, this woman and her "lies" are a hallmark of honesty and integrity. Was she being a hundred percent honest? She didn't tell you all the details, but she's ending it with these guys in order to be with you. So you being outraged by it, ESPECIALLY after installing spyware on her phone, is kinda like a bank robber who is outraged, nay O U T R A G E D that some dude didn't return the wallet he lost yesterday with all the cash inside it. What IS the world coming to?!? Bottom line? She deserves better than you. And installing spyware on somebody's phone is not just illegal. It's also super low and super creepy.
CarrieT Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 What Philosoraptor said. Get a divorce and grow up for a while before trying to have a relationship with anybody. Your serial cheating and her serial cheating are indicative of people who have a lot of personal growing they need to do before being in a relationship. 1
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