mereduke Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 I posted a couple of days ago and go only one response. I really need some advice (something, anything). Please read and respond. Thanks!! Hi. I am new here. I've read lots of the posts but I have decided to "tell" my story and see what you guys think. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years this coming dec. 14th. We are in love and have a great relationship. I am 22 and he is 35. Age difference has never been a problem. He has a wonderful career and has a stable lifestyle. I work two jobs and go to college. Unfortunately I made the huge mistake of "pressuring" him about marriage and commitment for a while until a couple of months ago when he said he doesn't know if he'll ever want to get married again (he was married for 5 yrs. to a woman who cheated on him). I told him that from now on there would be no more "expectations" and "pressure", that my want to be with him outweighed my want for marriage right now. And I haven't mentioned it AT ALL since then. But what i told him is not really true. I just want him to not feel guiltly for not knowing about marriage. He isn't into living together either (but thats ok b/c i don't like the idea of living together before marriage). But now that our 2 yr. anniversary is coming up and christmas and new years, I can't stop thinking about how much I want him to propose. I really have to tell myself when my mind starts wandering that ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!! This is so my heart doesn't completely break in two when these holidays go by and there is no proposal. I am really entertaining the idea of cutting my losses after the holidays and moving on. I am so confused. My questions are pretty much should i do that? Have I given him enough time? And these months since i told him no more pressure, is that enough time for him to feel like he isn't being pressured and can make a decision? Hes a wonderful man but my life is moving forward in all areas other than this one and I don't want to be in a dead end relationship!!! Thanks to all who have taken the time to read. Your responses will be greatly appreciated and helpful.
Hmm Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 Sounds like he's worried when he hits 40 you'll hit the door. You'll have a hard time assuring him that you won't cheat on him or that you won't leave when he's 50 and you're 37. Don't pressure him. In fact, take some time away from him and see if he changes his tune.
Author mereduke Posted December 7, 2004 Author Posted December 7, 2004 You know, how do you show someone that you will be there for them no matter what and you won't cheat on them if after 2 years they still don't see it? I don't want to be without this man. He's my heart. One of the greatest things that have ever happened to me. But damn, I can't put that part of my life on hold for much longer. I gotta move forward. BTW, we have taken a break and he seems very happy and content with our relationship. It's funny, my intuition says that he will come around, but don't trust my intuition. Hmm.....
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