elizabeth21 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 (Sorry it's so long) How can I accept he wasn't for me? We broke up in April over a year of dating and even tho I really cared about him, I guess he wasn't for me. We were each others first. He broke it off when I should have awhile ago because he just wasn't a good bf in general. Forgot dates, would barely text me, did nothing for our 1 year, would get angry easily at me and I ended up saying sorry all the time, and he never told me how much I meant to him or anything like that. He's 17 and I'm 18 and I wore the pants. I want to be taken care of and being the one doing everything. I planned all the hangouts n what not. We saw each other like twice a week and he thought I was clingy or high maintenance because I wanted more of his time. I think he thought I was those things because I'm more mature and need a MAN and not a boy. I'm not a prissy girl like he thinks and he didn't get to see all my sides cause we barely hung. But after breaking up I realized all the cool sides I had that I never got to show him. This chick is kinda like him. He's now dating my "friend" (said he wasn't wasn't gonna date in high school again but he lied about that at the break up cause he didn't have guts and didn't want to tell me the real reasons n hurt me) who's 17 and never had a bf. Idk if she'll just get hurt in the end like me and if it's just a honeymoon stage, or if he loves her more to change. It sucks to think he could love someone more and treat her better. She may have different standers of how she wants to be treated tho. He said to her that we're both different. She's more laid back and I think introverted like him where as I'm outgoing. She said she's relaxed and confident unlike me.. she thinks my confidence is "fake underneath it all"..That made me mad..She acts like she's all that tho..It kinda stinks seeing him like her more. He had a hot temper sometimes and idk if she'll see that side or if I just brought that out in him. He once pushed me against a wall when I was walking away from him when he was trying to explain why this girl was all over him (who I thought he liked). I cared about him a lot and should've ended it but I didn't. I was willing to put up with the unhappy moments to be with him. Idk if I should regret being picky with our time together and how I was treated, but everyone said he was a jerk. He told me I deserved someone I wanted cause he said he isn't a romantic guy and probably never will be. He drives out to see her and sits with her in church. He used to do that with me until we hit 6 months and he stopped and would sit outside the service while I sat alone. He got lazy with that. Idk if it's a honeymoon phase but he got over me pretty quick after the break up and started talking to her over the summer. I didn't think he was ready for a relationship and he told me that to spare my feelings. But I honestly don't think he is when his mom even said he was a bad bf. I keep having bad dreams of them cuddling in front of me on purpose. It's hard seeing him love her more. He drives out to see her when he didn't do that for me and planning to ask her out in a creative way to make it official when I had to set up our first date.... I don't want him but it hurts knowing he didn't want me when I did nothing wrong! I have no feelings for him when I see him, but more of still pissed at him for everything. He ignores me and goes out of his way to avoid me. Is he doing that because he doesn't want to be reminded of us or doesn't want to make me feel bad? Cause if anything I should act cold, not him. Advice please? -P.S. And I hate how she thinks she has more confidence then me? Just cause she's comfortable being heavy and wearing sweats doesn't mean I don't have confidence! He likes how she looks tho so what ever... Next time I'm not gonna try to care as much...I just got hurt. Idk if he changed within 3 months for her...He found someone younger and inexperienced so maybe it'll be easier for him? Idk how people can just fall out of "love". He used to care a lot about me. I stopped all feelings after we ended but it sucks how he's giving more effort into her.-
crederer Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Yah these are all pretty normal feelings. Try your best to avoid him and don't show too much emotion around either of them and play it off as if you don't care. Keep your chin up as things will get better.
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