My ex girlfriend left me and I still love her more then ever before

[Jjk]

This is a very long and confusing story but I do need help. So in advance thank you for whoever helps me.

 

I am a freshmen in college. My ex girlfriend and I met in 7th grade, i had a thing with her friend at the time and me and her got close friends over that year. And during 8th grade she gave me girl help because at that time i was trying to get back with her friend. I never got back with her friend but i did ask her out and we had an on and off relationship. Until near the end of the year we made it official. For the first couple of years of high school we went to different schools and it was hard not seeing her because we were so inlove.

 

We would talk on the phone until late at night and usually just sleeping on the phone with each other. During junior year we broke up for awhile and honestly i dont remember why we broke up hut we still talked. I eventually transfered to her school and we got back together. Our senior year we became really comfortable with each other it was to the point where i would just go to her house every weekend just to chill. We were voted most likely to be high school sweet hearts. Thats just alittle backstory.

 

Heres the real thing. Ever since we got together we were so inlove. From when we were first a real thing until literally a couple weeks before she left me we would tell each other we love one another so much and that we would be together forever and ever. Like all couples we had our silly on and off times but we always talked and acted like we were together. I was over protective i wouldnt let her wear revealing things. I wouldnt let her post revealing pictures. I wouldnt let her talk to guys. I wouldnt let her go to parties or clubs. But she was similar. She wouldnt let me talk to girls. She wouldnt like it if i went to any parties. She wouldnt even let me watch the movie spring breakers.

 

I regret this but everytime we argued i would say the meanest things to her i would call her names and say she was worthless but we would always make up and love each other more. While we were together i never cheated but there were times were i would want a new thing like i missed that honey moon phase but then i snapped out of it all the time. There were even times where i didnt have any urge to have sex with her or make out. But trust me there was never a time where i didnt want her to be mine for the rest of my life. Anyway a couple weeks before she left me i broke up with her just because i was in a bad mood and she kept bothering me like texting me constantly and calling because i was ignoring her so i just told her to **** off and that im done.

 

The next day she went to a party and smoked with a guy that i consider my good friend. To me that was betrayal. Anyway i cried on the phone with her we agreed we could never be together again and then i called her back and told her that i wanted to be with her so we were together again. The next week her coworker invited her to go to a club with her and she told me about it and i said you cant go. I gave her the choice to go to parties and clubs or be with me. She choose parties and clubs but still said that she would still consider me her bf and tell everyone she was taken.

 

We worked it out she didnt go to the club and we got back together. Anyway exactly three weeks ago she left me all of a sudden she told me she didnt have feelings for me anymore. But literally a week earlier after we worked out all of our problems she was telling me she could never picture herself with another guy and she would get so angry if she thought of me with another girl. So idk how she could lose feelings. She told me she wanted to experience new things and she missed feeling the honey moon phases and wanted to experience things with pther guys and that hurt me so much. Of course i begged her and bothered the **** out of and told her i would change and all that ****. We stopped talking for a couple of days i gave in and texted her and begged for her back only for her to say she didnt want to be with me and she lost feelings.

 

This **** cycled for about a couple weeks. Everytime we talked i poured my heart out and i promised her i would change but she said she didnt care anymore and she had no good memories and that she only remembered the bad times. I asked if she would care if i was with another girl and she said she honestly wouldnt. So I stopped talking to her for a few days and then we talked. She told me my friends friend worked with her now and just for the sake of trying to piss her off and try to make her jealous i said "can i ask her out" she ignored me for awhile and said she was busy with work and then later that night she texted me saying why did you ask if you could ask her out. I just said because shes pretty.

 

She didnt answer so i told her the truth that i was kidding and i wanted to make her jealous. She just said yeah right and told me shes blocking my number and to have fun trying to contact her. I eventually got ahold of her and we talked the next morning she told me it wasnt a big deal anymore and i asked why was it before and she said she doesnt care if im with another girl but she cares if i call them pretty. Which makes no sense. But yeah we talked for alittle i asked for her back and at this point she was beyond annoyed of me so i just said if you ever want to be friends then let me know. She said will do and i didnt respond and we didnt talk for three days. And then she texted me saying hi how are you. We had a convo and we stopped talking.

 

I texted her later that night but she said she couldnt talk. So this morning we talked alittle and earlier tonight she texted me asking me how i really felt and i told her how much i love her and how i took her her for granted and how i only want her and how shes perfect to me and how i will completely change everything. She told me if i need to change for someone then we arent meant to be. I disagreed. I continued begging for her back and she told me she doesnt want to be in a relationship. She said she missed me and thought about me. But she said she doesnt want to be with me. I begged for her back and she just said she didnt want to be with me. And at the end we said bye to each other for the last time. And agreed i would text her in exactly one year to ask for a date. She said deal i said deal she said bye i said bye. And now im writing this.

 

Im sorry if all of this is confusing to read. But believe me i love this girl with all my heart. I asked her friends and her sister and they said they think shes done for good but also confused to why she feels like this. But i do love her with all my heart. I truly regret all the times i hurt her and now im starting the no contact thing. I dont think she will try and text me again. So now i finally am realizing that she will never come back and that i need to move on but what do i do? Im just so confused. We dated for 4years and 4months.

 

We were each others first everything and everything. We would talk about our future together. Do you think she will ever come back? I told her to tell me if she ever wanted to be together she said ok. But she has no feelings and does not want to be with me again. She said she sees no future between us. But still after everything special we had together do you think she will be back?

 

Oh and also a week after she broke up with me she got sick so for two days i saw her and brought her stuff. All she could say was how sorry she was. A couple days later we agreed to hang out i got to her house and she said she could only hang out for a couple hours and i was confused because i thought we were gonna hang out all day she got mad because i didnt know what i wanted to do so she kept getting mad so i walked out and left. She didnt chase me or anything like that.

 

The next day we agreed to hang out for alittle i came over watched some netflix on her bed i kissed her a few times and she let me touch her but she never kissed me back or anything. So i was confused to why she didnt stop me. When she didnt want to do anything with me. Anyway yeah that was just some stuff i forgot to add. Now we said bye to each other and im trying the no contact for one year. I need help.

 

Anyway thanks. Please ask me if any of you have any questions that you would like clarified.

Edited October 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Jjk]

Before she left me we both honestly thought we would be together forever. I thought she was the one. She thought i was the one. But she couldnt take anymore of my ****. Today she told me she missed me but she felt happier and more free. Will no contact help me ever win the love of my life back? She was my first love and yes i believe she is the love of my life.

[Jjk]

Sorry i keep adding more. But a few days ago my friends gf made a good point. She said that me and my ex dated since middle school. And before the party she went to a few weeks ago shes never been to one and that was her first. So i realize that ever since she started college she got a taste of the real world and she didnt need me in her life anymore because she knows what its really like to live

[Jjk]

Again im sorry for adding on to the post. But i forgot to add that at first she said she wanted a break but as we kept talking she transitioned it to done for good. And at first she said she started losing feelings for me because for the past few weeks i would always show up to her place stoned and i would constantly ask if my car reeked. She said ever since then she lost feelings. But then later she said shes been feeling like it for awhile but she only now realized it. Im confused. And i didnt treat her like complete ****. I was sweet at times i always got her the best gifts. Mk tote bag, tiffany ring, engraved necklaces, iphone, uggs, north face, wedges. So i did show her that i love her by giving her gifts on special occasions.

[Jjk]

And dont get me wrong i know i acted like an immature kid. But trust me i am ready to change everything about me to win her back. I dont expect her to contact me anytime soon. And im gonna try and not contact her for a year atleast. But is there hope she will come back? I want this girl for the rest of my life. Lets just say if i could choose her or any other girl i would choose her.

[flight E]

Well no one can tell you she will come back but your plan is good focus on improving your self. Focus on not calling her for a year. Am sure when the year is through you will be in a better position to know if you even want her back at all

[Assasda]

I dont think you can get her back man.

There are other chicks

 

You can never buy love, so as much as you think that you can buy her things that will let her love you, it wont, she'll just love those things.

 

Dont be so apologetic, dont apologize for anything

[Jjk]

I dont think you can get her back man.

There are other chicks

 

You can never buy love, so as much as you think that you can buy her things that will let her love you, it wont, she'll just love those things.

 

Dont be so apologetic, dont apologize for anything

 

Everyone tells me there are so many different girls and she even told me that theres always better. But honestly i feel alone without her shes all i think about literally shes the only one i ever can picture myself being with

[Jjk]

Well no one can tell you she will come back but your plan is good focus on improving your self. Focus on not calling her for a year. Am sure when the year is through you will be in a better position to know if you even want her back at all

 

What do i do if i still want her back

[Jjk]

The only reason im doing nc is because im hoping she might want me back. But in reality i know that not talking to her will just give her the space and time she needs to completely move on. Yesterday before we stopped talking she told me she would want me to stop trying because it would make her feel less bad. I just dont understand. Even her mom and sister wanted us to get married eventually.

[Jjk]

I am willing to do just about anything to win her back. Please help me out

[Criticality]

What do i do if i still want her back

 

Get a tattoo with her name across your chest. Or neck. Or arm!

 

She's just testing you man! If you try to call her every day (in the morning and in the evening, so she knows you mean it!) and tell her how much you love her and beg for another chance, you'll prove your love and she'll come back!

 

Also, try to show up unannounced at her work and classes, to remind her of the good times. Don't say anything, she might be busy, just try and stare at her.

[Jjk]

Get a tattoo with her name across your chest. Or neck. Or arm!

 

She's just testing you man! If you try to call her every day (in the morning and in the evening, so she knows you mean it!) and tell her how much you love her and beg for another chance, you'll prove your love and she'll come back!

 

Also, try to show up unannounced at her work and classes, to remind her of the good times. Don't say anything, she might be busy, just try and stare at her.

 

I dont know if youre being sarcastic or not but shes not testing me. She doesnt want to talk to me she doesnt want to be friends or anything. Me calling her daily begging for her back is gonna push her further away then i already did. And im not trying to look like a stalker showing up to her work unannounced. Thanks for the advice though

[Jjk]

She knows how much i love her after she broke up with me i repeatedly told her that shes my everything and how much i love her. It didnt really phase her she just said im sorry.

[flight E]

Am sure he was being sarcastic cos u won't listen. Nobody can't say she won't come back or she will. One thing you can be sure of though is she will never come back if you continue like this. Leave her alone let her know you have balls you are a man and you can live you own life. U might be surprised what might happen down the line

[flight E]

And you don't know anything in reality. Even she doesn't know wether she will or will not come back. Life is not like that. But the only thing you can be sure of is she will never come back when you behave so weak and clingy

[flight E]

Heal urself she can only come back when u couldn't careless.

[Jjk]

Am sure he was being sarcastic cos u won't listen. Nobody can't say she won't come back or she will. One thing you can be sure of though is she will never come back if you continue like this. Leave her alone let her know you have balls you are a man and you can live you own life. U might be surprised what might happen down the line

 

Im trying to leave her alone but idk if she ever will but if she ever texts me would it be smart for me to text her back or ignore

[Criticality]

I dont know if youre being sarcastic or not but shes not testing me. She doesnt want to talk to me she doesnt want to be friends or anything. Me calling her daily begging for her back is gonna push her further away then i already did. And im not trying to look like a stalker showing up to her work unannounced. Thanks for the advice though

 

Oh no, I wasn't sarcastic.

 

I am a believer however, in going all in. And if you insist on screwing up, at least do it 100% and with a little flair. And possibly a restraining to prove your dedication.

 

Or you could wake up a little and realize that this:

 

Like all couples we had our silly on and off times but we always talked and acted like we were together. I was over protective i wouldnt let her wear revealing things. I wouldnt let her post revealing pictures. I wouldnt let her talk to guys. I wouldnt let her go to parties or clubs. But she was similar. She wouldnt let me talk to girls. She wouldnt like it if i went to any parties. She wouldnt even let me watch the movie spring breakers. I regret this but everytime we argued i would say the meanest things to her i would call her names and say she was worthless but we would always make up and love each other more.

 

Is not a healthy, loving relationship. It's a sick, sick, immature relationship poisoned by jealousy and possessiveness. And she is probably as much to blame as you.

 

So it's a good thing you split up. She did you both a favor, and you were too young to have a future together.

 

You do not forbid a guy you love to watch a movie.

You do not tell a girl you love where to go and who to talk to.

 

That's not a relationship, that's mutually assured misery through jealousy and oneupmanship.

 

You need to do what she's doing: Have fun, live life, screw other people. And you could both probably use some therapy.

 

If you ever will have a chance with her again, which I doubt mainly because her last memories of you is calling and begging and pleading for another chance, it'll be many years from now, when you're both much more mature.

 

And from now on, if you ever get involved with a girl again always remember these two things:

 

People always want what they can't have.

The one who cares the least, wins.

[Jjk]

Oh no, I wasn't sarcastic.

 

I am a believer however, in going all in. And if you insist on screwing up, at least do it 100% and with a little flair. And possibly a restraining to prove your dedication.

 

Or you could wake up a little and realize that this:

 

 

 

Is not a healthy, loving relationship. It's a sick, sick, immature relationship poisoned by jealousy and possessiveness. And she is probably as much to blame as you.

 

So it's a good thing you split up. She did you both a favor, and you were too young to have a future together.

 

You do not forbid a guy you love to watch a movie.

You do not tell a girl you love where to go and who to talk to.

 

That's not a relationship, that's mutually assured misery through jealousy and oneupmanship.

 

You need to do what she's doing: Have fun, live life, screw other people. And you could both probably use some therapy.

 

If you ever will have a chance with her again, which I doubt mainly because her last memories of you is calling and begging and pleading for another chance, it'll be many years from now, when you're both much more mature.

 

And from now on, if you ever get involved with a girl again always remember these two things:

 

People always want what they can't have.

The one who cares the least, wins.

 

Everything you said is 100% true and honestly i realize how ****ed up it was and i learned how i should really act if in another relationship

[Chi townD]

Okay dude, but the thing is, she's done. You met her when you two very young. What we want when we were in grade school is entirely different from the wants and needs that we desire in college, Point is, at your age, you are constantly changing and coming into adulthood. That is a massive change for both of you.

 

So, you need to let go and move on. If I read it correctly, you're a Freshmen in college. KEEP BUSY!!!! Use the gym everyday. Join clubs, there are tons of girls on campus that you can get to know and you can meet them through school activities. When it comes to Spring Break, grab some buddies and go somewhere! Cabo or Florida and it doesn't even have to be a spring break hot spot. You could do something fun like white water rafting, or golf or hiking and camping. Do something fun and different. Remember, KEEP BUSY!!!!

[flight E]

Leaving alone is an internal thing. We as human beings tend to sense this things. That's why you luv can be with you and you sense that they are distant. I believe that is the reason 4 nc. It's not to show the dumper that you are tough. It's to reach the point where internally you have left them alone. If you are sure that you can still leave her alone internally and answer her text I don't see y you shldnt but the state you in its doubtful that you can leave her alone and she will know that you haven't. If you mission is to try to get her back you just have to leave her alone. I believe even you pleading and begging can be overlooked if you just leave her alone. Truly leave her alone not to get her back but to live your life. I bet you might be surprised what happens