Jump to content

When or how does it get better?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Six months have nearly passed since my ex finally let me go after being a mess and taking her for granted for too long. Since then, I've done pretty much everything possible to stop thinking about her, stop longing for her and stop regretting how I was (nothing like I am now), yet my feelings aren't changing. This is what I've done since:

 

- Been on two holidays, one entirely by myself for two weeks.

- Redecorated my room, thrown out everything that reminded me of my previous ex.

- Met someone new (and had a relationship of sorts).

- Finished my degree.

- Reconnected with friends.

- Been on a few dates.

- Kept busy and found new things I like.

- Pursued work that will help get my career going (I hope).

- Worked part-time to keep money coming in and occupied as much as possible.

- Got into the best physical shape I've ever been in and have thoroughly enjoyed being a member at the gym.

- Found out "who I am".

 

There are still two goals to achieve (getting a serious career going in a new job, which is in progress) and getting my own place (that will come after the job), yet I still think about my ex all the time. Whenever I'm alone she's constantly in my thoughts and I get a burning desire to make contact, hoping she's forgiven me and wants to see me again.

 

Why are these feelings lingering when I didn't think I loved her? I now believe that I did, but didn't realise it at the time due to various difficulties and change. I now recognise what she wanted from me but couldn't get, and I'm now ready to give back, and not just to anyone. I genuinely want her. I want a future with her. My mind is so clear now, I have the head space for a relationship now, and would do everything necessary to rebuild what we had but a million times better, and be the man I know I am to her.

 

We've had no contact at all since June, and doing nothing about it isn't helping. This is the first night (it's 3am here in Britain at the time of writing) in a while that the issue has kept me awake, and it seems I'm going backwards or realising what a huge mistake I've made and is hitting me properly now.

 

Contacting her would be a disaster, right? It's only the "what ifs" that are forcing me to think twice. What if she'd be excited to hear from me?

 

It's so difficult doing nothing about how I feel. She may be a completely different person by now, who knows, unless I find out. Has anyone "gone back" after a significant amount of time and been successful?

 

I just don't know what to do.

Edited by The Situation
  • Like 1
×
×
  • Create New...