The Situation Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 (edited) Six months have nearly passed since my ex finally let me go after being a mess and taking her for granted for too long. Since then, I've done pretty much everything possible to stop thinking about her, stop longing for her and stop regretting how I was (nothing like I am now), yet my feelings aren't changing. This is what I've done since: - Been on two holidays, one entirely by myself for two weeks. - Redecorated my room, thrown out everything that reminded me of my previous ex. - Met someone new (and had a relationship of sorts). - Finished my degree. - Reconnected with friends. - Been on a few dates. - Kept busy and found new things I like. - Pursued work that will help get my career going (I hope). - Worked part-time to keep money coming in and occupied as much as possible. - Got into the best physical shape I've ever been in and have thoroughly enjoyed being a member at the gym. - Found out "who I am". There are still two goals to achieve (getting a serious career going in a new job, which is in progress) and getting my own place (that will come after the job), yet I still think about my ex all the time. Whenever I'm alone she's constantly in my thoughts and I get a burning desire to make contact, hoping she's forgiven me and wants to see me again. Why are these feelings lingering when I didn't think I loved her? I now believe that I did, but didn't realise it at the time due to various difficulties and change. I now recognise what she wanted from me but couldn't get, and I'm now ready to give back, and not just to anyone. I genuinely want her. I want a future with her. My mind is so clear now, I have the head space for a relationship now, and would do everything necessary to rebuild what we had but a million times better, and be the man I know I am to her. We've had no contact at all since June, and doing nothing about it isn't helping. This is the first night (it's 3am here in Britain at the time of writing) in a while that the issue has kept me awake, and it seems I'm going backwards or realising what a huge mistake I've made and is hitting me properly now. Contacting her would be a disaster, right? It's only the "what ifs" that are forcing me to think twice. What if she'd be excited to hear from me? It's so difficult doing nothing about how I feel. She may be a completely different person by now, who knows, unless I find out. Has anyone "gone back" after a significant amount of time and been successful? I just don't know what to do. Edited October 15, 2013 by The Situation 1
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