clueless101 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I have been dating this guy for almost 2 months and he have not even come close to having an argument or disagreement. However, this past weekend we were supposed to hang out but when he asked me earlier in the week we did not make it clear which day we were going to hang (Friday or Saturday, which has been our usual routine). We usually choose Saturday bc we are both tired from work on Friday nights and then he goes to the gym. On friday, I asked him if we were going to hang out on Saturday bc there was a sports thing on Saturday night that I figured he'd want to watch. I told him it was fine if he wanted to watch it and that I could make other plans. He did not answer the question and I asked him 2xs. So on Saturday I didn't hear from him all day (which is unusual) so I txd him around 2 and asked if we were still on for that night. No response. Then at 5:30 I just said I hope everything is ok and that its weird he wasn't responding. He wrote back 2 hours later and said he was in the gym and sorry but he wasn't in a good mood earlier. I just wrote him that it was ok and that I wasn't trying to nag but all I wanted was a yes/no answer and that I hope he feels better. no reply. Then I wrote that since we met we have talked all day every day and if he needs space I understand and I'll back off. That was yesterday. No reply since. This is the longest we have gone without talking since we've met. Now this past Tuesday (before this happened) he told me he missed me (which was the 1st time he said that) and he also said he was looking forward to hanging with me this weekend on Wednesday. Even when I tried to tell him to go to sleep on Wednesday he didn't stop texting me till about 11:30. Thursday and Friday we didn't text AS MUCH but still a lot, initiated by him. So why is he ignoring me? Maybe it IS just a bad mood. But for 2 1/2 days? And what would be so hard to just say you wanted to stay home or do something else this wknd? Why ignore me? Thanks for reading
Assasda Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Dont give guys a Yes/no Ultimatum or you'll get what you dont want to hear. Make more jokes with him and more lighthearted humor. He is probably sincere in the fact that he missed you for the first time, because thats the only time he got a chance to MISS you. He just needed some time
Author clueless101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Thanks Assasda, But I'm confused if he missed me on Tuesday, texted me all night wednesday and did some texting thursday and friday...why then ignore me saturday (the day we were supposed to hang out) Haven't heard from him since. The yes/no was for him to tell me if we were going to hang out that night or not and he just responded with "sorry I was in a bad mood earlier leaving the gym". Since then, nothing :/ Confusing!
RedRobin Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 He's probably seeing someone else in addition to you, and all the texting, etc is just to make sure you are still in the corral. This is the main reason I don't go in for texting in the early stages. It's got to be the absolute laziest form of communication ever. Once he's confirmed for himself, that you are indeed safely in the corral, he goes about his business... whatever that business happens to be. I don't give ultimatums when I see that behavior. I just ignore them until they show the prior level of interest. If that cycle tends to repeat, then dump him. 2
mbee Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I'm dealing with something similar. The prior poster is correct, ignore him until he shows his interest. I'm not sure if he's seeing someone else, but this early in the dating game, it's hard to really know his true intentions. I know he said he "missed you" but he's ignoring you for days and not showing he misses you. Also you are making yourself available and possibly coming off as a bit clingy with the repeat texts. He knows you want to talk to him, so let him come to you. If he comes back and acts like normal, then great, carry on. If not, let him go. For the record, I'm seeing a guy doing a similar thing that your guy is doing. Ironically just yesterday, a guy emailed me who did that same nonsense months ago. We only went out for a couple of weeks, but he dropped off the map, and emailed me 3 months later with an apology and an invitation for dinner this weekend. Crazy, right? Just be yourself, love yourself and show self-respect. If a guy blows cold this early in the dating phase, then he's not worth all this effort with you trying to stay in touch. Stop talking to him and let him make an effort to contact you. Hopefully I can take my own advice since we are in a similar boat right now. 1
Author clueless101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Ok so if I just act all normal if/when he starts talking to me again I feel like I am telling him that ignoring me when we had plans is ok....? What do you guys think? I am going to act normal but I guess I'll just tone down the excitement level a notch or 2 when I hear from him and not answer him right away like I used to (bc he was excited and answered me right away too...until Saturday). Then I feel like I'm playing a game but I don't think its ok to ignore someone for no apparent reason the day you have plans. Thanks!
mbee Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Ok so if I just act all normal if/when he starts talking to me again I feel like I am telling him that ignoring me when we had plans is ok....? What do you guys think? I am going to act normal but I guess I'll just tone down the excitement level a notch or 2 when I hear from him and not answer him right away like I used to (bc he was excited and answered me right away too...until Saturday). Then I feel like I'm playing a game but I don't think its ok to ignore someone for no apparent reason the day you have plans. Thanks! I'm not sure if playing games is a smart idea. It's a bit passive aggressive. I will say that if you act like this didn't bother you, then yes, you are showing him that doing that to you is okay, which it isn't. Perhaps when he's hanging out with you again you can ask him what's up and say how it bothered you. Save it for an in person conversation, or worse case, a phone call. 1
Assasda Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 You guys should have concrete plans planned, Maybe thats why he didnt contact you on saturday, but did you contact him?
Author clueless101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 You guys should have concrete plans planned, Maybe thats why he didnt contact you on saturday, but did you contact him? Yes! He didn't respond until like 6 hours later. And his response was "sorry was in a bad mood earlier just leaving the gym". That's the last I heard from him. I explained the rest in the original post don't feel like writing it again haha Thanks
mbee Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Yes! He didn't respond until like 6 hours later. And his response was "sorry was in a bad mood earlier just leaving the gym". That's the last I heard from him. I explained the rest in the original post don't feel like writing it again haha Thanks This might be a moment where you learn something about your boyfriend. Obviously not all of us are in good moods all the time. We all react differently when we are in bad moods. For me, when I'm in a bad mood, I tend to smile less and am quiet. It's obvious to other people. I leave lackluster text messages. The guy I'm seeing also reacts similarly to how your guy is acting. He's had a bad week and it shows from the lack of communication. This might just be how this guy is. It's still no reason for you to lie around and deal with it. The guy has to be man enough to at least acknowledge and apologize for it. If this ends up becoming an LTR, you may need to learn and accept that he gets moody and non-responsive when he's upset and in a bad mood, but that doesn't mean he can treat you anyway that he likes, knowing it upsets you, and not acknowledge that. I still stick to my original advice, which is to give him some space and let him come to you. I know guys like him and the best thing to do is give them space. If he cares about you, he'll be in touch, apologize and be the guy you are falling for. Just whatever you do, don't play games or make this into a test. Just give him space and know that your response is totally normal. 1
hasekninh Posted October 17, 2013 Posted October 17, 2013 I'm dealing with something similar. The prior poster is correct, ignore him until he shows his interest. I'm not sure if he's seeing someone else, but this early in the dating game, it's hard to really know his true intentions. I know he said he "missed you" but he's ignoring you for days and not showing he misses you. Also you are making yourself available and possibly coming off as a bit clingy with the repeat texts. He knows you want to talk to him, so let him come to you. If he comes back and acts like normal, then great, carry on. If not, let him go. For the record, I'm seeing a guy doing a similar thing that your guy is doing. Ironically just yesterday, a guy emailed me who did that same nonsense months ago. We only went out for a couple of weeks, but he dropped off the map, and emailed me 3 months later with an apology and an invitation for dinner this weekend. Crazy, right? Just be yourself, love yourself and show self-respect. If a guy blows cold this early in the dating phase, then he's not worth all this effort with you trying to stay in touch. Stop talking to him and let him make an effort to contact you. Hopefully I can take my own advice since we are in a similar boat right now. I agree, just let him come back to you. Let him do all the work now. Dont get excited or your hope up on him coming back to you. Just be yourself. This happen to me recently, she ignore me by not calling or return my text for TWO WEEK. Future more, she finally told me she block my number therefore she just fb msg me. He might doing something behind you back the you dont know about.
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