PinkDotsXOXO Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I'm not sure if anyone else struggles with this, but I think what is hard for me is that I weigh more than the guy I am dating. He's 5'5 and he weighs about 125 lbs but at the same time is pretty built. Even so, he is still on the smaller side. I have recently lost 50 lbs and am still struggling to lose more as it is getting harder, but I cannot help but feel insecure sometimes. I haven't caught anyone staring at us (even when were holding hands) but I still can't help but feel judged. Maybe I'm insecure because I still feel like I did when I was 50 lbs heavier. I know guys are built differently but I still can't help but feel insecure. Does anyone else have this issue? Any support is greatly appreciated!
ascendotum Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 "still can't help but feel judged." Judged by others in what terms? That you are settling for going out with a smaller build guy or that you will appear less feminine because you are not going out with a bigger masculine guy? You haven't mentioned your bf being unsettled over your weight, so I'll assume he's not (or maybe hiding it so as not to upset you), but if you act insecure on it he will pick up on it and may end up feeling less special to you. There is a good chance with this that you still have not come to terms with the less heavier version of you, and hopefully that will happen soon, but the reality is majority of women imo would be insecure dating a guy that is smaller than them (height or weight). Your just normal, but your giving it a shot which is good. I guess you need to weigh up how much dissatisfaction this issue is bringing you vs the happiness this guy gives you. Cant see people here saying anything that will erase that insecurity.
HeyKat Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I'm 5'10" and had a two year relationship with a guy that was 5'5" we got some stares but you just get used to it. As for weight, you are most likely still seeing yourself as you were before, try to take it easy on yourself and just enjoy your connection. See yourself through his eyes instead.
mortensorchid Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Weight and height issues are terrible things, they will linger in the back of both parties' minds (and those around them), like it or not. I am glad to hear that you have dropped 50 lbs and will continue to drop it as needed. We don't like to talk about these things, but we are actually more shallow than we let others think we are. The world is not going to change, you have to change if you want to be accepted. I used to weigh 40 lbs heavier than I am now, and people from close friends to total strangers treat me differently than when I was fatter. As for height? Well, that's not going to change. If you care for the person who is much shorter than you, it'll just work out. 1
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