So it's been a hard day..

October 15, 2013

Today is been nothing short of miserable, and I hate to even post because of how weak I do sound. It's been a little over a week since my gf of 6 years ended things with me. I have been contacting her slightly not obsessively but I have brought up our relationship and if she saw a possibility for a future etc., only to get replies such as "idk how to explain it now is just not our time", "I'm really confused about everything right now", "am I willing to see other people to see if it will work yes, will I date someone else if I'm interested, yes, I don't plan on us being together again anytime soon, and I just don't think I can retry now".

Last night I sent her my farewell if you will. I told her I finally accepted the situation at hand and that I am going to use this time to better myself and so forth. 30 min after the convo is over, she comes to me with a deep personal family matter. One that she would and could only come to me about. We talked through it and it ended with her saying some thank yous and thank you for everything. I love you. Today I really expected her to communicate with me in some form for whatever reason, but here we are with nothing. Not a word.

I just needed an outlet. Somewhere to express myself, because I am extremely close to texting her for just conversation. Not even about "us" but just to talk to her. She has been receptive to it, no telling me to go away, stop texting, but just serene with her decision and today I have officially hit rock bottom.

Edited October 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and move to coping

October 15, 2013

if you want her to come back, do NOT text her. do NOT contact her.

let minimum 2-3 days pass by and then send her something like..hey i hope everything is ok with whatever situation that her family is going through and im here if you need to talk. and if she doesnt reply let another week go by.

give her space..

she will come back if you do not start being obsessive and needy. i know its hard, but if you love her and want her back you will need to bear through this. if its meant to be she will realize that she's made a mistake- and she will realize only if you do not contact her with moping texts! after she does come back though give her hell and dont take her back so easily or she will do it again.

October 15, 2013

I'm using every excuse I can find to text her. Like fight now her brother and wife are in the middle of giving birth to their child via c-section. Her brother contacted me around lunch today to give me some progress updates. Her on the other hand hasn't informed me of anything. I was the first person her brother told about the pregnancy, I have been through the entire 9 months with them, bought the gifts, been a supporter and I'm unbelievably close with her family, but not a peep from her on what's going on. It burns with a fire that I can't even begin to explain that this girl that for 6 years of my life was my absolute best friend and I hers got what she wanted out of me last night as far as emotional support and then wakes up today and is gone off the face of the earth. Painful isn't even remotely close to what I feel right now.

October 15, 2013

You should give love and support without ever wanting it back man.

Do you have any male friends that you can hang out with?

Get on a free online dating site, and send some chicks messages.

Just be a rock man

October 15, 2013

First of all, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Don't be too hard on yourself, it's all very recent. However, you need to start thinking about yourself. Please, do not contact her. Everybody is so emotional right now. Give it time. Try to be around your family and friends. She's checked out of the relationship. FOCUS ON YOURSELF.

Things do get better, but let time do its thing. We all know here, how you feel, things will get better.

October 15, 2013

Yeah I do. The situation is much more complex them today shows, but of course I want to show love. I am still in love with her to the depths of my being, but unfortunately I am back home right now awaiting acceptance to CRNA school. My best friend is actually back too but he is single and let's just say although I love the guy to death his personality can be downright depressing. He doesn't like to do much and isn't a very good outlet for emotion.

October 15, 2013

I would not let her talk about emotional stuff to you again. You need some boundaries. When you break up with someone, you can't keep on using them as an emotional crutch. Don't allow that again. It's part and parcel of the breakup; she releases all the fringe benefits associated with a committed relationship.

October 15, 2013

Failed myself and failed this forum. I texted her to find out about her brother. Btw he is now a proud father 9lbs 1 ounce, beautiful baby boy. Told myself it was only to find out about him, and we texted, she gave me info, sent me pictures etc. but I could feel the distance in her messages. So of course I asked. I said this texting between us I assume it ends now that the baby is born and there is nothing really informative left to talk about. Her reply. "For goodness sake I can be a friend. I don't need a reason to talk to you, but you needing one for every single thing isn't going to work. Therefore this your issue and if you can't handle it I don't know what to tell you. Like I said earlier I am exhausted. I am turning my phone off and going to bed. I love you.

I explained I wasn't looking for reasoning, but that "friends" isn't the easier pill to swallow right now and that I was treading carefully because I didn't want to run her off and she had seemed fine with the contact, much unlike she was the previous break-up we had a mere 5 months ago. And that as a "friend" every bit of dignity and progress I could make during this time could be completely jeopardized being her "friend" if she was to find someone else and or realize that "us" would never happen again. Of course I got no response so I sent nothing else. Deleted the texts and now I'm on here. Does it sound like she's trying to tell me it's completely over without just being a dignified human being and just saying it 100% or what? I do know I refuse to be a friend to her. I can't be. I honestly can't.

October 15, 2013

As much as I want to be because I FEEL like it would help, I know honestly that it will do nothing. It will give her a way to keep me around while she goes on about her life until one day she moves on and then her "friend" is left picking up the broken pieces yet again. No Contact just seems so damn hard to believe in. Even though it is meant for a self-healing tool, how many can truly so they haven't used it in maybe even a slight way to get their ex back? I'm to the point where I feel that with no contact, yes she will come back to me but only to save our friendship. I know everyone says their ex was their best friend and it's so cliche, but in the upmost seriousness and most meaningful way we truly were and are best friends. I know her darkest secrets and her mine. Things we will certainly take to the grave with us, but is it wrong for me to say that I can't ever just be her friend? Not tomorrow, not in one year, but ever? Because I truthfully feel that way.

October 15, 2013

Rolltide,

You have to cut off the contact, remaining in contact with her is getting you nowhere and leaving you in a state of limbo of where you stand with her.

It boggles my mind about how ex's could want to remain "friends" after completely checking out of a r/s with no real reason why and destroying your heart. I got the "I love you but not in love with you" line from my ex. She even wanted to keep living with me for the rest of the month until our lease was up and hoped we could remain "friends" cause she couldn't imagine never seeing me again.

Well, there was enough of my rational brain screaming at me not to let that happen and I was fortunate enough to listen to it. It was hard as hell but I'm sure saved me a ton of possible further heartbreak. It's now been about five months and I am in a much better place after cutting her off.

They wanted to check out so you need to do the same, maybe somewhere down the road they might want to reconnect and you will be in a much better place to handle it if you go NC.

Hang in there, you're going to hurt but it does get better.

Trick

October 15, 2013

Welcome to our forum, RollTide10

I am sorry you are having bad days.

But stop texting her! Yesterday!

Hah!

I get it, buddy!

Hell, someone just threw your a*s in the ocean,

you might as well learn how to swim - it is better than drowning.

I know its hard, I was with dildo face, my ex, for 6 years (he broke up with me).

I still think of the (old failed) relationship as dead.

(Even if we are now reconnecting, after 10 months of no contact.)

It is brutal.

But you have to stop all contact - today.

You need to be strong and stick to no contact.

If she don't think that you are serious about no contact then how will she ever be able to take you seriously?

No contact is about taking off the leash that your ex has around your neck - you know -

the one that she likes to keep pulling on (texting you, calling you when she needs you, still saying I love you, etc.)

just to make sure that you are still around for her if everything falls through with her «scary new life» -

WITHOUT YOU!

Dropping off her radar right now is the best thing you can do to improve your situation.

By removing yourself completely from her life, you're giving the message that you're no longer interested in what's going on (with her).

This may sound counterproductive to getting this person back in your life -

if you even want her back by the time you have evolved - but in reality, it's exactly the opposite.

Put yourself in her pink shoes for a minute. Hah!

Instead of knowing where you are and what you're doing,

she now has no idea what's going on.

She'll wonder:

- Does he still love me?

- Does he still want me back?

By disappearing completely, i. e. focusing on you and your life,

she has no clue about these things.

Her level of comfort drops dramatically once she realises

she can't get you «back» at the drop of a hat.

I know exactly what this fu*k is doing.

Every time her ego gets bruised or she feels lonely, she calls you up or texts you and puts on her best face to ease her insecurities.

After a few days she gets confident and pulls the same sh*t,

telling you she doesn't regret her decision, blah blah blah.

She's been stringing you along and you have never given yourself a chance to evolve through this whole thing.

When she feels her arguments lack merit she turns to the emotion card.

Or being all business like:

«For goodness sake I can be a friend. I don't need a reason to talk to you,

but you needing one for every single thing isn't going to work.

Therefore this your issue and if you can't handle it I don't know what to tell you.

Like I said earlier I am exhausted. I am turning my phone off and going to bed. I love you».**

With a friend like that, who needs cancer?

** I have something a break up buddy wrote me in an e mail about being friends with an ex.

Here is what was said:

«You're not friends.

You'll never be friends.

You'll be in love till it kills you both.

You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver,

but you'll never be friends.

Love isn't brains, children,

it's blood.

Blood screaming inside you to work its will.

I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.»

Telling you she loves you is bullsh*t.

See... the problem is - when you love someone like you obviously do,

you overlook the cr*p they did and the pain they caused.

If she loved you half as much as you do her she would have moved heaven and earth to be with you

and would have made an exceptional effort to never lose you again.

Couple your love for her with the disbelief that she could reject you like that and you have a recipe for RollTide10-stew.

A hodge podge of mixed emotions being stirred around in a pot,

but never really boiling.

Well it is time to boil…

Kick her fu*king a*s out of your life - for now.

You are too trusting and too nice of a person to let this a*shole continue to fu*k with you.

If you are going to keep contact with her brother or other family members or mutual friends:

- Tell everybody that you do not want to talk about the ex, or hear anything about her!

You can talk about anything else, BUT the ex.

No:

I saw her with...

Or:

Did you know she...?

Or:

She just told me...

Or:

I think you should know she...

At least for the next 6 months, or until you feel better.

The more you focus on your evolution, and the less you worry about what your ex does -

the faster you will evolve.

Use this time to clean her out of your apartment, delete her number, you don't need it anymore,

delete her e-mail address, delete, delete delete.

You will still have the memories.

Same thing goes for your ex - the memories, and feelings do not fade that quickly,

even if they have been dating.

I am telling you it is like the universal law, or something -

when you don't want someone anymore -

then they want you.

This whole time you have been focusing on nothing but getting your ex back - that's why you're failing and having such bad days.

Make a folder called sh*t face, or something like that - mine was dildo face - and store all pictures, e-mails, etc.

that you don't want to throw out, just yet, but keep it in a hidden/buried place on your Mac/computer.

You are still in the mourning stage of your breakup, so is she -

in time you will realise that your old relationship is dead,

and nothing you can do will bring it back, and then you will move on.

You will finally let it go and move on.

Most people fear the phrase «move on» they seem to think it is the end of the world, and it is -

it is the end of that fu*ked up roller coaster world you have been living in with your ex.

People should remember that «moving on» is really just moving forward and leaving

the past behind and preparing for an even better future having learned from

your past mistakes - when they get their ex back - without evolving -

nothing has changed - the fu*ked up roller coaster starts all over again

Some advice to use/do during no contact:

- Start journaling, write down the hurt and pain, and progress.

And also write down texts you want to send her.

- Delete her number, e-mail, throw out her stuff, etc.

If you have unfinished business (bills, joint accounts, etc.), sort it out.

- Wish your ex all the best (you don't need to wish her the best life,

kids and supermodel husband or anything specific, but wish her all the best -

just like that, no elaborate life, just: all the best.

I wished dildo face the best, I didn't picture him with anybody, I pictured him alive and well.

If I had bad days and started to think:

He is dating. I pictured him dating Dolly Duck from Duckburg!

I really believe in the power of thoughts, so I didn't want to think him with a supermodel,

but I can think about him and Dolly Duck.)

- Working out

- Laughing

- Reading

- Hanging out with friends

- Not think too much about the past, think of the past as a cemetery, a cemetery is a place we visit,

but we wouldn't live there, right? So only visit the memories, don't move in.

- Let go of the old failed relationship

- Do something new every day or week or month

- Spending time with your family

- Pet every furry animal that comes your way

- Explore your city, be a tourist in your own city

- Make a list over restaurants or places you want to go to on dates, hell, eat at them as well,

do the research with a friend, and have fun making the list,

so that when you reconnect with ex, or start dating a new girl, you have this list with great tips!

You can do this, RollTide10!

October 15, 2013

Thank you all so much for the replies. Is it wrong that I also think NC will cause someone as strong-willed and stubborn as her to completely walk away? She is a very independent person and emotionally scorned. I guess if that be the case then she never really loved me like she claimed or I thought she did. I mean this girl and I have been through a whole mess of stuff together. I never abused, cheated, verbally abused, anything. I'm a good guy. I really am and I loved her unconditionally and did plan to propose to her at the end of this year. I have my problems as does anybody. I was clingy towards the end of our relationship. Lost a lot of confidence because things weren't going the way I saw them going in my life an in turn I started searching for the negative in every situation including our relationship. Concerned who she was texting, who are you talking to, why them, what do they want, why is he texting you, etc. That was the only true issue going in our 6 years. She's told me after the break she is willing to see other people and to date if she's interested and that she doesn't plan on us being together anytime soon. I've even told her to be brutally honest and that if she doesn't see a future with us then to just tell me. It won't hurt me, but would actually help me. Of course she filled me with a bunch of I don't knows. The first time we split a while back it took me a while to go NC and I never really did but I did disappear for a while and she started texting again, but the last time she was also extremely adamant in me just leaving her the hell alone. This time not so much. She's content with it. It doesn't bother her like it did then and that really worries me that conversation or no conversation she could honestly care less. Of course back then she was stuck at a desk job and in a city where she didn't know many people at all. Now she is on the road, traveling, surrounded by men every day to assure her how beautiful and wonderful she is and what kind of girl she is and what all they can offer to show her that. She doesn't have any "free time" to sit back and reflect on what she's walked away from. I don't know, I just know I'm in from a long bumpy road and being here talking to all of you does ease the pain somewhat, and anything right now is better then nothing.

Edited October 15, 2013 by RollTide10

October 15, 2013

Thank you all so much for the replies. Is it wrong that I also think NC will cause someone as strong-willed and stubborn as her to completely walk away? She is a very independent person and emotionally scorned. I guess if that be the case then she never really loved me like she claimed or I thought she did. I mean this girl and I have been through a whole mess of stuff together. I never abused, cheated, verbally abused, anything. I'm a good guy. I really am and I loved her unconditionally and did plan to propose to her at the end of this year. I have my problems as does anybody. I was clingy towards the end of our relationship. Lost a lot of confidence because things weren't going the way I saw them going in my life an in turn I started searching for the negative in every situation including our relationship. Concerned who she was texting, who are you talking to, why them, what do they want, why is he texting you, etc. That was the only true issue going in our 6 years. She's told me after the break she is willing to see other people and to date if she's interested and that she doesn't plan on us being together anytime soon. I've even told her to be brutally honest and that if she doesn't see a future with us then to just tell me. It won't hurt me, but would actually help me. Of course she filled me with a bunch of I don't knows. The first time we split a while back it took me a while to go NC and I never really did but I did disappear for a while and she started texting again, but the last time she was also extremely adamant in me just leaving her the hell alone. This time not so much. She's content with it. It doesn't bother her like it did then and that really worries me that conversation or no conversation she could honestly care less. Of course back then she was stuck at a desk job and in a city where she didn't know many people at all. Now she is on the road, traveling, surrounded by men every day to assure her how beautiful and wonderful she is and what kind of girl she is and what all they can offer to show her that. She doesn't have any "free time" to sit back and reflect on what she's walked away from. I don't know, I just know I'm in from a long bumpy road and being here talking to all of you does ease the pain somewhat, and anything right now is better then nothing.

I know that fear anxiety you're experiencing, we all have experienced it. Our exes know how we feel about them. We've told them a million times. It's up to them now. We can force them to have a relationship with us. However, we can take care of ourselves, just like they are taking care of themselves and only worrying about THEIR feelings. Start living your life, start focusing on your well being.

If things are meant to be, it'll happen. They already know how we feel about them.

October 15, 2013

You have to understand the relationship is out of your hands now. You are powerless as long as you hold on to something that is beyond your control. The more you contact her, the more pain you will feel.

You don't need more pain. You don't need any more rejection. Stop reading into her saying that she loves you. The way she is saying it now almost sounds like she is saying it to her brother.

The only thing you can do is stop contacting her and let your pain start to heal. If she ever comes back to you, that's her choice. Just remember that the more you contact her the less she misses you.

October 15, 2013

She doesn't love you . I doubt she even cares about . Accept this and try and move on. I only say this as someone who recently has had to come to terms with the cold truth myself.

October 15, 2013

Welcome to our forum, RollTide10

I am sorry you are having bad days.

But stop texting her! Yesterday!
Hah!

I get it, buddy!

Hell, someone just threw your a*s in the ocean,
you might as well learn how to swim - it is better than drowning.

I know its hard, I was with dildo face, my ex, for 6 years (he broke up with me).

I still think of the (old failed) relationship as dead.
(Even if we are now reconnecting, after 10 months of no contact.)

It is brutal.
But you have to stop all contact - today.

You need to be strong and stick to no contact.

If she don't think that you are serious about no contact then how will she ever be able to take you seriously?

No contact is about taking off the leash that your ex has around your neck - you know -
the one that she likes to keep pulling on (texting you, calling you when she needs you, still saying I love you, etc.)
just to make sure that you are still around for her if everything falls through with her «scary new life» -
WITHOUT YOU!

Dropping off her radar right now is the best thing you can do to improve your situation.

By removing yourself completely from her life, you're giving the message that you're no longer interested in what's going on (with her).

This may sound counterproductive to getting this person back in your life -
if you even want her back by the time you have evolved - but in reality, it's exactly the opposite.

Put yourself in her pink shoes for a minute. Hah!
Instead of knowing where you are and what you're doing,
she now has no idea what's going on.

She'll wonder:
- Does he still love me?
- Does he still want me back?

By disappearing completely, i. e. focusing on you and your life,
she has no clue about these things.

Her level of comfort drops dramatically once she realises
she can't get you «back» at the drop of a hat.

I know exactly what this fu*k is doing.

Every time her ego gets bruised or she feels lonely, she calls you up or texts you and puts on her best face to ease her insecurities.

After a few days she gets confident and pulls the same sh*t,
telling you she doesn't regret her decision, blah blah blah.

She's been stringing you along and you have never given yourself a chance to evolve through this whole thing.

When she feels her arguments lack merit she turns to the emotion card.
Or being all business like:
«For goodness sake I can be a friend. I don't need a reason to talk to you,
but you needing one for every single thing isn't going to work.
Therefore this your issue and if you can't handle it I don't know what to tell you.
Like I said earlier I am exhausted. I am turning my phone off and going to bed. I love you».**

With a friend like that, who needs cancer?

** I have something a break up buddy wrote me in an e mail about being friends with an ex.

Here is what was said:

«You're not friends.
You'll never be friends.
You'll be in love till it kills you both.

You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver,
but you'll never be friends.

Love isn't brains, children,
it's blood.

Blood screaming inside you to work its will.

I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.»

Telling you she loves you is bullsh*t.

See... the problem is - when you love someone like you obviously do,
you overlook the cr*p they did and the pain they caused.

If she loved you half as much as you do her she would have moved heaven and earth to be with you
and would have made an exceptional effort to never lose you again.

Couple your love for her with the disbelief that she could reject you like that and you have a recipe for RollTide10-stew.

A hodge podge of mixed emotions being stirred around in a pot,
but never really boiling.

Well it is time to boil…

Kick her fu*king a*s out of your life - for now.

You are too trusting and too nice of a person to let this a*shole continue to fu*k with you.

If you are going to keep contact with her brother or other family members or mutual friends:
- Tell everybody that you do not want to talk about the ex, or hear anything about her!
You can talk about anything else, BUT the ex.

No:
I saw her with...
Or:
Did you know she...?
Or:
She just told me...
Or:
I think you should know she...

At least for the next 6 months, or until you feel better.

The more you focus on your evolution, and the less you worry about what your ex does -
the faster you will evolve.

Use this time to clean her out of your apartment, delete her number, you don't need it anymore,
delete her e-mail address, delete, delete delete.

You will still have the memories.

Same thing goes for your ex - the memories, and feelings do not fade that quickly,
even if they have been dating.

I am telling you it is like the universal law, or something -
when you don't want someone anymore -
then they want you.

This whole time you have been focusing on nothing but getting your ex back - that's why you're failing and having such bad days.

Make a folder called sh*t face, or something like that - mine was dildo face - and store all pictures, e-mails, etc.
that you don't want to throw out, just yet, but keep it in a hidden/buried place on your Mac/computer.

You are still in the mourning stage of your breakup, so is she -
in time you will realise that your old relationship is dead,
and nothing you can do will bring it back, and then you will move on.

You will finally let it go and move on.

Most people fear the phrase «move on» they seem to think it is the end of the world, and it is -
it is the end of that fu*ked up roller coaster world you have been living in with your ex.

People should remember that «moving on» is really just moving forward and leaving
the past behind and preparing for an even better future having learned from
your past mistakes - when they get their ex back - without evolving -
nothing has changed - the fu*ked up roller coaster starts all over again

Some advice to use/do during no contact:

- Start journaling, write down the hurt and pain, and progress.
And also write down texts you want to send her.

- Delete her number, e-mail, throw out her stuff, etc.
If you have unfinished business (bills, joint accounts, etc.), sort it out.

- Wish your ex all the best (you don't need to wish her the best life,
kids and supermodel husband or anything specific, but wish her all the best -
just like that, no elaborate life, just: all the best.

I wished dildo face the best, I didn't picture him with anybody, I pictured him alive and well.

If I had bad days and started to think:
He is dating. I pictured him dating Dolly Duck from Duckburg!

I really believe in the power of thoughts, so I didn't want to think him with a supermodel,
but I can think about him and Dolly Duck.)

- Working out

- Laughing

- Reading

- Hanging out with friends

- Not think too much about the past, think of the past as a cemetery, a cemetery is a place we visit,
but we wouldn't live there, right? So only visit the memories, don't move in.

- Let go of the old failed relationship

- Do something new every day or week or month

- Spending time with your family

- Pet every furry animal that comes your way

- Explore your city, be a tourist in your own city

- Make a list over restaurants or places you want to go to on dates, hell, eat at them as well,
do the research with a friend, and have fun making the list,
so that when you reconnect with ex, or start dating a new girl, you have this list with great tips!

You can do this, RollTide10!

I loveeeeeeee this post! I'm using it to help me get by. Thank you so much

October 15, 2013

I do appreciate all of the wisdom and advice. I have tried. As she said to me the night she did walk to way sometimes people change and right now we are in two completely different places in our life. It's almost unfair. This isn't to demean her at all but she just graduated last year at the age of 26, so it took her a while. Here I am trying to be a anesthesiologist, so hell yeah it's going to take a while. It's just the unfairness of you got all the time you needed, finished and welp sorry I'm moving along and need a man in my life to do so with me. The more I dwell on it, the more I see the things she actually did wrong and don't so much blame myself 100%. That being said I'm a fool for love. The prototypical jock, ex-college baseball player, and guy who most would place the "has been with a ton of girls" label on but it's incredibly far from the truth. Had a highschool sweetheart for 6 years, she broke up with me, got back together, we both got a case of GIGs and it ended and the a few months later fell face flat into love with my now current ex. Not the same love I had with my first ex "first love", I mean completely, utterly, ridiculously in love with this girl. And to say we are polar opposites is a total understatement. I'm very calm, enjoy a party every now and again but not all the time, and was looking forward to settling down in life. Her on the other hand. A full blown damn rebel. Been going hard since the age of 16, has had multiple BFs, multiple sexual partners, as no one ever saw anyone changing her, but I did. Not because I tried to make we change, but because we settled in together, took our best from each respective side and made it a whole. It really has been a beautiful 6 years, but I think I'm understanding that it is likely to become a distant memory, because my heart tells me she will come back, but my head and gut tell me I'm farrrrrrr from right.

Edited October 15, 2013 by RollTide10

October 15, 2013

Blah blah blah....you all have already heard enough of me talking about how wonderful and amazing we were. I do have some questions if anyone would like to answer? What are your thoughts on a girl dumper seeking reconciliation? I have read quite a few posts on here that suggest females are almost likely to never come back. Obviously mine did once, but we never "labeled" ourselves however we acted just as we did before the break which was the cause of this whole fiasco at hand now. Just curious if anyone female here was the dumper or has been and seemed reconciliation? Why did you do it? Etc etc..

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