Dumpee1971 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I'm just coming out of an almost 6 year relationship. Truly thought this was the one. It wasn't my first rodeo, so I knew, or at least thought I knew I had found my soulmate. Relationship ended almost six weeks ago. She went NC almost immediately. I still have so much I want to say... I miss her so much. I'm hoping that by trying to stay NC that she'll eventually realize that we are soul mates. Am I a complete moron in my thought process??? Initially I begged her not to do this. Her last text, almost 2 weeks ago was, "I asked you not to contact me, and you cannot even respect that..." I've never been more devastated at the end of a relationship. Why do I feel the need to contact her every minute of every day? I don't want to move on, but I feel like I am getting CLINICALLY depressed. I started therapy for the first time, but I feel I'm so mentally screwed up that it may not help. I keep writing down all of my thoughts in my iPhone in the notes. Not sending them, but needing to vent. Can't get her out of my mind and would do ANYTHING to get her back, even though she lied to me... Just so difficult to accept after almost six years. How does it just stop so suddenly?? Advice, ANYONE??? Please help.
reddragon588 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 You're using NC for the wrong reasons. Although NC can sometimes facilitate reconciliation, the purpose of it is not that. It is purely intended to help you heal. Take time to focus on yourself and improve yourself, this will help you heal. If you feel that you could break NC with no intentions or ulterior motives of trying to get her back, then maybe you're ready to break it.
Author Dumpee1971 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 She's the one that went NC. I'm just trying to give her her space to think about things and to try to respect her space. 6 years is a long time for it to just go <poof> and be done. I'm so confused.
petall Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 As dumper, it is SHE who should initiate contact if she wishes. As dumpee, your job is to look after YOU. By begging and pleading and keeping up the hassling, you are losing more and more dignity, and this is like rubbing more and more salt into an open gaping wound. You need to stay away. She told you she wants that. If she wants to contact you, she knows how to. Trust me, no contact works. If you want to recover from your pain, keep no contact. If she has a change of mind, she'll let you know. Hassling her won't and will only drive her away further. 1
nascarfish Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Hey man..same thing here. 6 years together and then just dumped, and that was it. That was in mid--August. Been in NC completely since then. I have not contacted her, she has not contacted me. It is very tough to have been in constant contact, and with someone every day for 6 years, and then nothing. Since I was dumped, I just can't bring myself to initiate anything. She is a great girl, but wants different things out of life than I do. The void left is so huge, but you have to stay strong. It is slowly getting better. But I feel and know your pain. It really stinks, but just try to stay strong and focus on other things if possible.
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