Noma Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 My ex and I broke up in February, he saw a rebound for about 6 weeks, they split up, and we started hanging out again as friends in July. We work together, run a restaurant were together 4 years and lived together most of that time. I moved out right away with a friend. Then moved to a nicer place in sept. I have only stayed there once since then. We have talked a few times. I have asked what we a re doing, and if he doesn't want to be with me he has to let me go. He replied he does want to be with me. We had both had a few drinks, and never finished the conversation. This was about 3 weeks ago. I have continued to stay at "his" place. We do almost everything as a couple. Talk about taking overnight trips together, he always says us and we, and includes me in more conversations than he did while we were together before. I used to get mad when he didn't say us and we. We went out the other night and he opened doors of me like he used to, kissed me in public etc. then, The other morning I got texts from a guy I used to date about 6 years ago, that he knows about. We are friends, and at this point I don't even consider him an "ex". There is nothing there, I believe he knows this, but got mad cause I was texting another man while laying in bed with him... And that maybe I shouldn't be staying over every night. I told him to stop being jealous, he said he wasn't, and didn't care, I can do what I want!! We went shopping later that day, talked about buying a bench we found, thought it would look great in the back yard at the house. He bought it for me and let me pick it out. I got mad later, referenced our earlier conversation about if he didn't want me to let me go, and how he said he wanted to be together, but then said I can do whatever I want is confusing! And he jokes about sleeping with other people. He says he is just joking. And also that he does care about me texting my ex. We were unable to finish the conversation due to work. Later that night he told me about a conversation he had when someone asked about me and if we were dating again. He told the guy kinda, I guess we a re seeing each other again. And that night invited me over and was really excited to spend time with me! I find it kinda cute that he told me through a conversation with someone else. Where do I go from here? Do I move back in to my own place? Do I continue to stay here? He wants me here, and made sure to invite me over the night we had the "fight" so I knew he wanted me here. We haven't said I love you again yet, and I feel at times we are holding each other at arms length. And are both afraid. How do we get past this? I've been trying to "go with the flow more" as I used to want to talk "everything" out, and he has said sometimes I need to let things go. We are both in out early 30's and I do love him. I know you don't feel "in love" with your SO every day, but the last few days he has seemed so distant. Reconciling is tough. Any thoughts?
reddragon588 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I think you need to have a conversation about what you're doing, where this is going and what you're both expecting out of it. You need a yes or no answer as to whether you're together or not. Kinda or maybe just doesn't cut it. I know these kinds of conversations are hard, but they're necessary. No one ever said relationships are easy. My parents recently celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, and they both told me that it's extremely hard work- harder than anything else in their lives. But that hard work is worth it. 1
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