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refusing to wait around for a man. now what


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Posted

so ive been seeing a guy for over a month and he lives in the same town as my parents which is a hour away from me.

im starting to like him and asked if he wanted to hang out yesterday...he said he was free that night and i suggested going to the movies and he agreed.

so i drove out to see my parents and to see him too...

i text him at 5pm to let him know i was in the area...he text to ask how i was and that he was in a town 20mins away...i texted him that i was doing good but he never responded.

i got ready and found myself waiting for him and started to see stupud..it was now 8pm and still no word...i felt like calling but why should i chase him?

so i called a friend to make plans and drove back home...

i wanted to see him so much but wanted to show i wont wait around all night...

i finally get a text from him at 9pm saying im home now..that was 4hours since we talked.

i told him i made other plans since i didnt hear from him or know what was going on...

he hasnt text me back ....

im wondering if i was being too hard in him or if im in the right.

i still would like too see him...should i text anything more to him?

any insight or advice on how i should play this out?

Posted

When you texted him at 5, why didn't you ask when he'd be free?

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Posted

I think you guys should have cemented down a time for this movie plan. There was no solid plan.

 

That being said, I don't think you should sit around waiting either, so I don't think it was wrong for you to make other plans. He could have had the decency to text you back and let you know what he was doing. He didn't even bother writing back until hours later.

 

I would just wait until he reaches out to you. You already tried making a plan, then getting in touch... time for him to make a move.

  • Like 1
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Posted

i just felt like i had been the one that reached out to make plans...he knew i was in town and he never really got back to me to say when he was home ...i guess i didnt want to chase him...

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Posted

ya i agree. thank u katzee.

Posted
i just felt like i had been the one that reached out to make plans...he knew i was in town and he never really got back to me to say when he was home ...i guess i didnt want to chase him...

 

 

 

if you had set a specific time and finalized them the day before i do this the night before or day before ill finalize......that way there is never any confusion things happen dates fall through but if you have a plan and it is agreed on then whoever breaks it, you know exactly where you stand...and whether the reasons are valid or not is personal choice to accept or not......deb

Posted

I don't know... I mean, if a guy is good with schedules (opposite of flaky), then he should confirm his plans. Do you really want a guy that you have to chase after just to confirm? Don't wait around for someone to acknowledge, unless you know he is worth it. No harm is calling him, but don't make it a habit of chasing him down. Passive guys are losers in general.

Posted

The prior poster is right...Look out for passiveness. It is a red flag in my book. This can be avoided by planning in advance. However, waiting till 9pm to get in touch with you is unreasonable. You weren't hard on him at all. You handled this well and I'm glad you didn't stick around for him, because it sends him the message that he can keep doing this.

 

In the future set dates ahead of time and note down if this is a reoccurring event. If this repeats itself again, and again then you may need to reassess if this is a quality you want in a boyfriend.

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