crazybestie101 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 So after break up all this time i pretended to be someone different. I acted like i moved on and seeing other guys to make him jealous because i didnt wanted to look desperate. When he said not to contact him , i didnt talk to him for 2 months. When i finally realized that i should stop playing this game , it was already too late . So i finally decided to pour out my feelings to him . He lives in another state. So without telling him i drove the state he lives in. 700 miles one way. It was complete out of blue for him. To make things more weird , i went to his work to surprise him or shock him you can say. Moment he saw me , he blasted on me . He told me i already made it clear that its over , why are you here. I dont want to see you. Go away , never contact me again . When i saw this , i broke into tears . He told me i am all fake. This all made me think i drove all the way for him , he didnt care to ask me anything but started blasting on me . Felt like one of the worst decision i made while driving to pursue this guy.
harrybrown Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Do something positive for yourself. Exercise, go shopping, something you like. Sorry your surprise did not turn out the way you planned. If that was his reaction, next time try to make contact before the long drive. If he does not change, to help yourself, go NC and get him out of your life. When you are ready find someone new.
Sososad Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I'm so sorry for you . In time it won't hurt so bad I know that won't help now . But it can't be said you didn't Try and give it 100%. Leave it as his loss and hopefully one Day he sees it . Look after yourself I hope your ok.
reddragon588 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Well, now maybe you can see the value of NC? It is clear this relationship is over. Time to move forward. You can do this! 1
Stealth3 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I went to my ex's house twice to try to get ahold of her and talk to her...she just ended up threatening to call the cops if i contact her again in any way. **** happens, at least you tried. Now it should be easier to move on, you tried and you failed. Perhaps now it seems bad, but is it better than not have tried at all? At least know you know you did all you can. My ex said she doesn't want to be with me and to never contact her again. So thats what im planning on doing. I tried all I could, now its really over because I decided it to be over. 3
aybc123 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) Ok, here's from a perspective of a guy who is going through something identical to your ex. Get dumped by EX EX says she's moved on EX acts differently/ more cold and says she is dating other people EX doesnt talk to me for months after i say i need a bit of a time out to move on myself The last 2 months have been horrible for me thinking my ex just never cared about or loved me and wants nothing to do with me, or is intentionally trying to hurt me just for fun. I can guarantee that is exactly how your EX has been feeling too. If my EX turned up and did the same thing you did you can bet I would tell her to get the hell out and never come back too. Unfortunately for me I don't think that is the case, im pretty sure she doesnt give a **** for real but anyway. I'm sorry but you ignored someone for months and did things you knew would hurt them just to avoid seeming desperate? and then you think they should take you into their arms when you're done playing games with their heart? you sound very immature, human beings are not toys to be played around with. If you're lucky he will respond if you explain that actually you do care a lot and just acted in a stupid way. Edited October 14, 2013 by aybc123
BC1980 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 This is why you should never make emotional decisions. You always end up regretting it. Making these grand gestures and pouring your heart out to an ex usually ends badly. You really have to stick to NC until you are able to be objective. It takes a long time to get to that point. 4
Beautiful diamond Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 A lot of people have chased after an ex....don't think it's the end of the world. It could of went a lot worse (ie. him calling police, threatening you, restraining order) At least you can say you tried. If he ever comes back, make sure to remember this pain... It will all get better with time. 3
geegee81 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 You tried..... At least you can say that you truly tried to fix things and make it work. Have no regrets. It just was not meant to be. Now you have closure and can move on with your life. P.S that was a long way to drive. How much money did you spend in gas?
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) Aw that's awful. I'm sorry you went through that hell. Maybe this will finally be what you need to move on... Years ago, I was pining after an ex after a mutual break up and drove to his place late at night (bout an hour away from my home) and waited until I could muster up the courage to tell him I was there. He freaked out and told me that his current gf was on her way and he wanted me to leave immediately. Up until that point I didn't know he was seeing anyone. It had been a few months after BU. Needless to say I was devastated and called my best friend bawling while speeding back home. I felt humiliated, ashamed, broken...you name it. After calming me down my best friend said, " Okay, no more of this...you don't want to be known as the CRAZY ex-girlfriend, now do you?" For some reason those words hit home. I let go that night. He had moved on and I had too as well. Spin this experience into a positive. Make this the turning point for you and accept the situation for what it is. Your relationship is over. Focus on you and surround yourself with people who love you. It will get better, I promise. (BIG HUGS) Edited October 14, 2013 by seekingpeaceinlove
todreaminblue Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I am sorry this happened to you, that you drove all that way, and got treated badly. I think before you do something like this you have to know for sure the person is going to be receptive..... making an ex jealous isnt the way to go ..ever....if they dont want to be with you they wouldnt be jealous just annoyed........and if they did......... making someone jealous is really quite immature...jealousy isnt a good feeling it is oen that actually makes you feel anger mixed with hurt so associating yourself with anger and hurt feelings....nah...not done......doesnt amount to anything that would be considered positive.......anger plus hurt equals resentment...intentionally setting otu to make someone jealous is manipulation of a pretty high order......when found out unlikely to be a happy person on the receiving end.... the positive you have now though is you know that he is over you and now you can move on and legitmately find someone who loves you for you without jealousy....without anger and without hurt........imagine trying to start a relationship with those things....now...move forward and be honest in any relationship you really want and you will have that relationship...i wish you well....deb 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 You drove 700 miles unannounced? Yeesh. 4
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Do something positive for yourself. Exercise, go shopping, something you like. Sorry your surprise did not turn out the way you planned. If that was his reaction, next time try to make contact before the long drive. If he does not change, to help yourself, go NC and get him out of your life. When you are ready find someone new. Yes , it's kinda sad of what he did. I am just glad that i gave my 100 % , have no regrets now. It's his loss. i am on NC now, never want to reach out to him.
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 I'm so sorry for you . In time it won't hurt so bad I know that won't help now . But it can't be said you didn't Try and give it 100%. Leave it as his loss and hopefully one Day he sees it . Look after yourself I hope your ok. i am doing okay.. Kinda relieved that i did my best to save it but he didnt get it . Lets hope he sees it one day.
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 I went to my ex's house twice to try to get ahold of her and talk to her...she just ended up threatening to call the cops if i contact her again in any way. **** happens, at least you tried. Now it should be easier to move on, you tried and you failed. Perhaps now it seems bad, but is it better than not have tried at all? At least know you know you did all you can. My ex said she doesn't want to be with me and to never contact her again. So thats what im planning on doing. I tried all I could, now its really over because I decided it to be over. Yea, glad i tried my best , happy for that fact. I am on NC now never looking back. It's his loss , i am sure time will tell everything.
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Ok, here's from a perspective of a guy who is going through something identical to your ex. Get dumped by EX EX says she's moved on EX acts differently/ more cold and says she is dating other people EX doesnt talk to me for months after i say i need a bit of a time out to move on myself The last 2 months have been horrible for me thinking my ex just never cared about or loved me and wants nothing to do with me, or is intentionally trying to hurt me just for fun. I can guarantee that is exactly how your EX has been feeling too. If my EX turned up and did the same thing you did you can bet I would tell her to get the hell out and never come back too. Unfortunately for me I don't think that is the case, im pretty sure she doesnt give a **** for real but anyway. I'm sorry but you ignored someone for months and did things you knew would hurt them just to avoid seeming desperate? and then you think they should take you into their arms when you're done playing games with their heart? you sound very immature, human beings are not toys to be played around with. If you're lucky he will respond if you explain that actually you do care a lot and just acted in a stupid way. Well , i didnt do ignorning intentionally. He dumped me , gave me silent treatment . Had to do it . In all time he knew i still had feelings for him. i did everything until this time. yea , lets see . With time he will realize everything . It might be too late then..
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 A lot of people have chased after an ex....don't think it's the end of the world. It could of went a lot worse (ie. him calling police, threatening you, restraining order) At least you can say you tried. If he ever comes back, make sure to remember this pain... It will all get better with time. Yep , i will always remember the pain. I know time repays everything and Karma is bitch.. 1
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 You tried..... At least you can say that you truly tried to fix things and make it work. Have no regrets. It just was not meant to be. Now you have closure and can move on with your life. P.S that was a long way to drive. How much money did you spend in gas? Totally agree with you. I spent $150 for round trip lol
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Aw that's awful. I'm sorry you went through that hell. Maybe this will finally be what you need to move on... Years ago, I was pining after an ex after a mutual break up and drove to his place late at night (bout an hour away from my home) and waited until I could muster up the courage to tell him I was there. He freaked out and told me that his current gf was on her way and he wanted me to leave immediately. Up until that point I didn't know he was seeing anyone. It had been a few months after BU. Needless to say I was devastated and called my best friend bawling while speeding back home. I felt humiliated, ashamed, broken...you name it. After calming me down my best friend said, " Okay, no more of this...you don't want to be known as the CRAZY ex-girlfriend, now do you?" For some reason those words hit home. I let go that night. He had moved on and I had too as well. Spin this experience into a positive. Make this the turning point for you and accept the situation for what it is. Your relationship is over. Focus on you and surround yourself with people who love you. It will get better, I promise. (BIG HUGS) Hugs! Thanks for reply.. We all go crazy in love lol Well good thing after this is , i am happy that i tried my all to pursue him .. too bad he cant see it . May be time will explain him . I am no longer reaching out to him . Oh no!
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 I am sorry this happened to you, that you drove all that way, and got treated badly. I think before you do something like this you have to know for sure the person is going to be receptive..... making an ex jealous isnt the way to go ..ever....if they dont want to be with you they wouldnt be jealous just annoyed........and if they did......... making someone jealous is really quite immature...jealousy isnt a good feeling it is oen that actually makes you feel anger mixed with hurt so associating yourself with anger and hurt feelings....nah...not done......doesnt amount to anything that would be considered positive.......anger plus hurt equals resentment...intentionally setting otu to make someone jealous is manipulation of a pretty high order......when found out unlikely to be a happy person on the receiving end.... the positive you have now though is you know that he is over you and now you can move on and legitmately find someone who loves you for you without jealousy....without anger and without hurt........imagine trying to start a relationship with those things....now...move forward and be honest in any relationship you really want and you will have that relationship...i wish you well....deb Yea , made mistake but you know if i would have told him he would never let me meet him. So by doing this atleast i got to see him ( while seeing how far he lives) Any ways , i am glad i tried my best , have no regrets. May be with time he will realize what he has lost. All i know is i am not trying to reaching out to him.
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 You drove 700 miles unannounced? Yeesh. , if i would have let him know i would have never seen him ..**** about miles and money , i get to see him , i tried my best to save this relation. Thats more than enough for me , No regrets in life!
crederer Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 700 miles, and showed up at his workplace.....don't do this in the future. I know you meant well but holy hell! Also don't play games in the future either. If you don't want to look desperate or needy, simply ignore him or give vague bland details if you feel you must contact.
h0000 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I said to myself many times that never initiate anything with him yet there are some days i just cannot control myself..i really dont know why.. girl Im afraid one day you just wanna talk to him one more time..
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 , if i would have let him know i would have never seen him ..**** about miles and money , i get to see him , i tried my best to save this relation. Thats more than enough for me , No regrets in life! That's like Fatal Attraction-stalker behavior. Never do that again. You probably scared the crap out of him.
Fufu Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 So after break up all this time i pretended to be someone different. I acted like i moved on and seeing other guys to make him jealous because i didnt wanted to look desperate. When he said not to contact him , i didnt talk to him for 2 months. When i finally realized that i should stop playing this game , it was already too late . So i finally decided to pour out my feelings to him . He lives in another state. So without telling him i drove the state he lives in. 700 miles one way. It was complete out of blue for him. To make things more weird , i went to his work to surprise him or shock him you can say. Moment he saw me , he blasted on me . He told me i already made it clear that its over , why are you here. I dont want to see you. Go away , never contact me again . When i saw this , i broke into tears . He told me i am all fake. This all made me think i drove all the way for him , he didnt care to ask me anything but started blasting on me . Felt like one of the worst decision i made while driving to pursue this guy. It was indeed the worst decision, but you know what it's fine, it's over. Since you now know he had completely make it clear to you, it's time to spend quality time with yourself.
Recommended Posts