TaintedLuv Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 So after having his first baby, my MM continued to reach out and impose on the NC I instated. He was even trying to get to me to meet him for coffee or drinks, etc. We had a huge fight this past Friday because I insisted that I would not see him until he decided to leave. Things got heated and he proceeded to turn things around on me saying that I'm the one picking up random men at bars and flirting- doing god knows what. (I'm single as a dollar bill btw!) This type of chatter really irked me as I don't actually do these things and yes I have gone on a date or two but I'm free to do what I want. He told me that I treat him like garage and I give random men things I won't give the man that loves me. I'm sorry but I was standing my ground- firmly and he couldn't handle it. Well, today things escalated and I decided to post a cryptic comment on his Ws page. U don't need to be friends to post on this type of social media. I immediately deleted the post but she will get a notification regardless. I told him and he was very upset. Well ladies and gentleman, after almost six years of being with this man that "loved" me, all it took was a single anonymous message to negate our entire relationship and for him to dead me. He has now blocked me so I can't contact him and wants nothing to do with me because my actions are "unjustified". I know I should be happy that he is officially an xMM but something about this ending because of me seems crazy. After all of the hurt and pain I went through. I'm the party to blame. I feel like that is so unfair. He can have a baby and continue to hurt me but the instant his precious life is threatened, he's done with me? Some "love". It's amazing how textbook these relationships are. There's nothing left of my heart to break now. 4
CrystalCastles Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Yeah that really sucks, but that guy was such a toxic mess anyway, its best that you're finally rid of him. He sounds possessive. He treats you like his property. What a tool.
Author TaintedLuv Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) You would think after all of the stories of him being miserable with his wife, so in love with you, needing to be with you, how his wife tricked him and strong armed him to having this baby... after all that you would think that he would be GRATEFUL to you that he gave his wife a clue!! I still stand by my belief that of all the stories that I have read here your MM is the sickest of the sickest, and you were very sick being with him. His antics do not surprise me. I am grateful and happy for you that he is an XMM now, but I am afraid if he removes that block you will let him back in with open arms. What are you doing for you? To make sure that he can never have such a hold over you again? Well about a week or two, her mother ended up on the hospital with something very serious and he said he had to disappear for a few days. That just started this huge falling out. Clearly he had to run off and play his role once again. Well today he said that it was horrible timing as her mother is now dying. I'm not insensitive to this but it is also just another delay of a decision we all know he was never going to make. But apparently I'm a horrible person to tell a woman her husband is cheating when her mother is dying. Btw this was news to me after the fact but I'm an evil OW after all. I've also blocked him in the event that he does unblock me. He is 100% serious about this being over. But he was going to leave in a couple months right? Worst of all, now I'm the villain. He's happy to be rid of me and will never look back. Edited October 14, 2013 by TaintedLuv
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Who cares what he thinks of you. Really, you both created this mess and are both responsible here. Neither one of you are worse or better than the other. It takes TWO to have an affair, both are equally at fault. After all that's said and done, it's finally OVER. Embrace that and let the stress and roller coaster ride disappear, light a weight off of your shoulders. Focus on healing and looking forward to your future without him in it. Connect again with friends and find a fun and passionate hobby to get interested in to keep you busy and active. 5
Author TaintedLuv Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 I thought you were NC since the baby was born? If so what was he 'running off from' a week ago? Were you back with him? I'm confused. Either way, be glad he's gone. It sounds like you're ticked that he is the one saying goodbye because you have been so hurt already. If that's the case, just remember you had years to say goodbye and didn't, so him doing it was what was needed. I bet deep down you knew that, which is why you posted that comment. Good for you - you did what needed to be done for you. Well played. NC never stuck. He was back texting me within a few days of the birth then it was series of mini NCs. We had a discussion and he said he would leave me alone to decide whether he would leave in the near future and I was fine with that. It turned into "when can I see u etc" and I refused to have that anymore. That turned me into the bad guy. Or he's basically like a toddler stomping his feet when he doesn't get his way and can't handle it. I know this should've happened years ago but it's all such a mind f when one minute he's telling me he's madly in love worth me and now I'm the Lucifer himself because of a single comment. This is all just to protect his life and for once and for all proves to me, he will never leave. Never was and will protect his life no matter what.
Artie Lang Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 i say you make this man responsible for his child NOW! don't let him off the hook. he needs to man-up and take care of business, regardless if it screws with his precious lifestyle.
MuddyFootprints Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 It isn't "that easy". It takes a steely resolve. But, it is up to us to choose whether to release with a full heart or to relinquish with an empty heart. Make the decision that is healthiest for you.
Author TaintedLuv Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 I still am worried for you and your resolve. Remember, the baby was a dealbreaker for you over 9 months ago, but you stuck around, anyway. Even now, you say that you were fine with him deciding what he wanted. This guy is sooooo bad, and hopefully you will be able to look back with more clarity. What kind of comment did you leave, anyway? Would she have been able to tell something was up by what you said? And has he been telling you that you are vindictive and evil? God, what a douche. Thank you for updating, btw. The baby was a deal breaker for me initially. It still basically is but I decided to put acceptance on the table to see how he would react since he's been crying about what a mistake it was to end up in this situation and lose me (whatever) so we had a discussion about everything including the future, possible course of action, etc. I didn't really expect him say he would consider leaving. To be honest, I was trying to prove a point that he wasn't leaving no matter what. That being said, we agreed to go our separate ways and if he decided that he actually wanted to follow the plan we discussed then I would be okay being a stepmother. Instead of following through, he wouldn't walk away and respect what we discussed. Once he started asking to see me then comparing himself to single men, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. He needed to respect my space and leave me alone- not push me. Part of me thought maybe I should allow him to get closer to me but if it's not open and honest now then he'd never leave (theoretically) so I stood my ground because I felt that was the right thing for me for once in this. She posted something about having "true love" and I left something to the extent of being in denial. I don't know if she would put two and two together just from one short sentence. He didn't call me names- more like implied that he won't deal with me anymore and "the person that has been there for me all along no longer cares about what I have to say" and my actions are wrong and unjustified. I've been a b*tch most of this year because well look at what he's been doing. So maybe I deserve it but he chose to do this to me. Sorry if I can't be all sweet and crap. He did it to himself. I knew once I posted that there was no going back so it's not a matter of going back to him. I'm just upset at how everything ended. I feel like I'm crumbling emotionally and that's impressive considering how much I've already been hurt through this.
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 i say you make this man responsible for his child NOW! don't let him off the hook. he needs to man-up and take care of business, regardless if it screws with his precious lifestyle. The baby he has is with his wife, not Tainted.
whichwayisup Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I knew once I posted that there was no going back so it's not a matter of going back to him. I'm just upset at how everything ended. I feel like I'm crumbling emotionally and that's impressive considering how much I've already been hurt through this. Difference is now this pain is final. No more on going suffering, confusion and back'n'forth NC etc..etc.. You begin your grieving process now. Write about it, either on here or in a journal. This is it and as even though you're hurting, now that it's over you have freedom.
Artie Lang Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 The baby he has is with his wife, not Tainted. i see. my mistake. you should run and never look back. this guy is damaged goods.
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