akbarjohnston Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Ok, so I'm new to online dating, so I figured I'd try okcupid. Now I've been on there for a few months with mild success (a few hook ups), but a lot of one and dones. I'm 32 and just got out of a looong relationship. I never realized how humbling online dating can be, because I have decent game in real life dating. Anyway, I went on a date the other night, and within the first 5 minutes she brought up the "I've got a busy/early day tomorrow." Kiss of death line. Yet, she still hung for a few hours and the night ended cordially (nice time, catch you later). I know I sound clueless here, but did she just think "whatever, I'll hang for a few", or is there a shot I can get a second date? It sucks because she's hot and the conversation was good, but it's always the one's that you are not that into that you hook up with.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 I think you're reading a little too much into her 'early start tomorrow' line. If I had an early morning the next day that's probably something I'd say just to let the guy know that I wasn't going to be going wild on the drinks or staying out really late. Call her and ask her out again!
deathandtaxes Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Mwaaaaa why are you asking a bunch of stranger on here about getting a second date. Such passivity on these boards. ASK HER OUT ON A SECOND DATE!!!!!!
ascendotum Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) You are still in the running...if you like her and want to be, then ask her out on another date. My guess is she says "I've got a busy/early day tomorrow" upfront early as her preemptive exit strategy should the guy turn out to be a bit of a dud. (I've read of this being given as advice as part of how to handle potential bad dates) So if it turns out she didn't like something about you she would have at say the 30 min mark, say how she mentioned early on that she was not able to stay too long because of the you know the early start thing, so sorry but she needs to cut this short. Seems she thinks you are okay as she stuck around and didn't execute the "I've got a busy/early day tomorrow" exit. If you do well in real life with women, then I would give that your priority over OLD. Edited October 14, 2013 by ascendotum
Author akbarjohnston Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Yeah. We shall see. The good thing about O.L.D is that you can be shameless in a way. I've always been a when to call/when to text/make em wait game type, but with the online thing you have to act quicker it seems. I'm going to shoot a mid week confident "let's meet up friday" type text and see what happens. There's a decent age gap (she's 8 years younger), but I don't think that matters too much. I hope. Let me ask though. If a dude you are not feeling shoots you text for second date, how do you play it. Ignore and give him crickets to take a hint, or polite not interested response?
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Yeah. We shall see. The good thing about O.L.D is that you can be shameless in a way. I've always been a when to call/when to text/make em wait game type, but with the online thing you have to act quicker it seems. I'm going to shoot a mid week confident "let's meet up friday" type text and see what happens. There's a decent age gap (she's 8 years younger), but I don't think that matters too much. I hope. Let me ask though. If a dude you are not feeling shoots you text for second date, how do you play it. Ignore and give him crickets to take a hint, or polite not interested response? Personally I've often used the line 'thanks for the invite, but I'm sure you could feel too that we didn't have huge amounts of chemistry... I had a great time though, I hope to see you around ' that kind of thing. Lets the guy save face and say 'yeah actually, you're right...' I'd never ignore though, that's just so rude!
skydiveaddict Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I never realized how humbling online dating can be, because I have decent game in real life dating. . Yea stick with real life face to face dating. Meeting a girl for the first time. Admiring her looks, the scent of her perfume, the smell of her hair etc etc. But perhaps more importantly, get to know her as a person. All people respect dignity. Get to know her a little, ya know, a real live date instead of this on line dating bs.
Recommended Posts