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ex contact me during no contact and left halfway in the conversation?

jamieloves

By jamieloves
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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I am a victim of the grass is greener syndrome where my ex left me for another girl. I doing the no contact for almost a month and today he contacted me in messenger. He asked me how I have been etc and I just reply casually.Then I asked him how is his kids he said they are good and I said they are wonderful kids do take care of them. Thats when all of a sudden he left the conversation. Why did he do that?

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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He did that just to see if you would talk to him. You did, and so sweetly and accepting and that was enough for him to alleviate his guilt. I don't think there was anything more than that.

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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He did that just to see if you would talk to him. You did, and so sweetly and accepting and that was enough for him to alleviate his guilt. I don't think there was anything more than that.

 

Hi thanks, could it be he is pissed off that I said take care cause its sounds like saying I will not be around anymore so he has to take care of the kids?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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It's not No Contact if you respond. No Contact means No Contact. I really don't get why people don't understand this. It's pretty straightforward.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Hi thanks, could it be he is pissed off that I said take care cause its sounds like saying I will not be around anymore so he has to take care of the kids?

 

You said take care of his kids. And even if he had any intent to make the contact more than what it was, saying "take care of your kids" shouldn't send him into complete silence.

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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It's not No Contact if you respond. No Contact means No Contact. I really don't get why people don't understand this. It's pretty straightforward.

 

Yea cause I heard that if you still want them you should reply? I must have got it wrong then oh dear

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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You said take care of his kids. And even if he had any intent to make the contact more than what it was, saying "take care of your kids" shouldn't send him into complete silence.

 

Yea ur right unless he has no guts to state his intention of reconcilation at all. And he also admited that he is being mean to me by breaking up in the conversation. Do you think he is trying to alleviate his guilt too?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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Yea cause I heard that if you still want them you should reply? I must have got it wrong then oh dear

 

Absolutely not (unless it has to do specifically with your kids of course). All you responding does is letting you know that you are available to him when he wants you to be and that you are on the hook.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Yea ur right unless he has no guts to state his intention of reconcilation at all. And he also admited that he is being mean to me by breaking up in the conversation. Do you think he is trying to alleviate his guilt too?

 

All that aside, why are you even bothering with this asshat? Dumped you for another girl. Ignores you when contact is made. Chooses to be mean to you. Who cares if he is trying to alleviate his guilt?

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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Absolutely not (unless it has to do specifically with your kids of course). All you responding does is letting you know that you are available to him when he wants you to be and that you are on the hook.

 

What should I do now to salvage the situation? I feel like deleting him on fb, should I do that?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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What should I do now to salvage the situation? I feel like deleting him on fb, should I do that?

 

Probably a good idea. I wouldn't worry about salvaging things though, I'd worry about moving forward and not worrying how he perceives things. He lost his right to have a voice in what you do when he broke up with you.

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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All that aside, why are you even bothering with this asshat? Dumped you for another girl. Ignores you when contact is made. Chooses to be mean to you. Who cares if he is trying to alleviate his guilt?

 

Yea its really hard to move on I still love him a lot

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Yea its really hard to move on I still love him a lot

 

It's normal that you love him but that isn't quite enough or a very good excuse to be in contact with him. You have to try and put your feelings aside and start thinking with your head.

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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Another reason I can think of for him to left the conversation is that he is sending mixed message. Im not sure if this could be the case.

Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

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For all we know he could've lost connection. Anyway, why haven't you blocked him? He sent you a simple message and look what it has turned into!! You need to block him, if you really want to heal.

seekingpeaceinlove Established Member

seekingpeaceinlove

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Jaime, I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I broke 6 week NC with ex and exchanged a few messages via email. He hasn't responded to my last reply. For the last 2 days I re read his email and kept wondering what made him stop responding...I had kept it pretty casual as well.

 

It comes down to this - IT DOESN'T MATTER.

 

The situation between us hasn't changed. We're still broken up.

 

It doesn't matter if I said something to annoy him or he got freaked out bc he thought he was giving me hope...who knows...who cares.

 

Nothing has changed.

 

Let's not waste any more energy on them!

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aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

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I dont know the history of the relationship but the line about the kids sounded a little bit passive aggressive from a neutral guys perspective, if that has been a feature in the disagreements that led to your breakup it may have just caused him to sigh and say 'actually i cant be bothered with this'.

 

As for why he messaged, i guess he probably just wanted to see how you were doing/ check if you were ok

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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Jaime, I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I broke 6 week NC with ex and exchanged a few messages via email. He hasn't responded to my last reply. For the last 2 days I re read his email and kept wondering what made him stop responding...I had kept it pretty casual as well.

 

It comes down to this - IT DOESN'T MATTER.

 

The situation between us hasn't changed. We're still broken up.

 

It doesn't matter if I said something to annoy him or he got freaked out bc he thought he was giving me hope...who knows...who cares.

 

Nothing has changed.

 

Let's not waste any more energy on them!

 

Hi there what is the last message you sent him before he stop replying? Is it casually reply or did you talk about your relationship? Thanks.

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jamieloves Member

jamieloves

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I dont know the history of the relationship but the line about the kids sounded a little bit passive aggressive from a neutral guys perspective, if that has been a feature in the disagreements that led to your breakup it may have just caused him to sigh and say 'actually i cant be bothered with this'.

 

As for why he messaged, i guess he probably just wanted to see how you were doing/ check if you were ok

 

there is no disagreement between us at all.he left me for another girl due to the grass is greener syndrome. The kids are not mine, and im just voicing my concern on how they are and that he should take care of them cause they are great.

crederer Established Member

crederer

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The not answering them thing during nc isn't necessarily accurate. You have to keep in mind that a lot of people on here are scorned. If you hope to get back with them, you are going to have to speak with them at some point (obviously) but you're going to have to make them work for it and make yourself to not appear too available or too eager.

 

The response you gave seemed fine. He probably took it as you saying you didn't feel like continuing the convo when you told him to watch after the kids.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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The not answering them thing during nc isn't necessarily accurate. You have to keep in mind that a lot of people on here are scorned. If you hope to get back with them, you are going to have to speak with them at some point (obviously) but you're going to have to make them work for it and make yourself to not appear too available or too eager.

 

The response you gave seemed fine. He probably took it as you saying you didn't feel like continuing the convo when you told him to watch after the kids.

 

You answer them when you are healed and you can go in there with a cool head. Before that it's a bad idea. Has nothing to do with being scorned, so don't throw that type of flame bait out there. That's bush league.

 

But when you are in the early stages, yes you do not respond. Eventually you can get to a point where you can respond or even initiate, but she's not there.

Fufu Established Member

Fufu

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To me is not important why he left halfway during the conversation.

the reasons are tons, it could be disconnect, it could be he just had nothing more to say or just simply wanted to find out how are you doing and nothing more.

 

So please continue on NC.

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