Luminox84 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 In a nutshell.... Met a woman we made out, talked until the sun came up. Took her home. She left her stuff in my car. She is sorta distant now after 2 weeks. We still talk over text. But here's the thing.... She'll text me back like normal but when I ask when she wants her stuff back she never answers the question. The only time she talked about it was when I said the next day "you left your stuff in my car. Her reply was" well you'll know your going to see me again". I'm not sure if she met someone or not. But did she leave it with me on purpose in case something doesn't work out? Really want to be with her. She's someone I've always wanted to have a relationship with.
Criticality Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 First and foremost... What stuff is it? Laptop? Expensive purse? Anything valuable? In that case, pawn it or sell it on eBay. That'll hopefully teach her not to play stupid games with guys and leaving her stuff so they'll be forced to call her... You will have done the next guy she meets a solid. The money you earn from selling it, should go towards either an escort, a steak dinner, or an expensive bottle of booze. Emailing her a picture of what you spent the money you made of her stuff isn't mandatory, but will give bonus points. And massive bro-points...
Author Luminox84 Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Its just a power cord. So am I right?
coolheadal Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Sounds like one off and you should take her things to her. Or just mail it to her if you know where she lives. Don't even bother thinking if she'll come back for it. Again no relationship here! Nothing has even taken place. She's goes from one guy to the other and leave stuff behind and said you'll see me again. We'll why don't you go and find a girl you want a relationship with instead of the one off type (aka one night stand).
Criticality Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 2 things I've learned the hard way: 1. Everyone wants what they can't have. 2. He who cares the least, wins. Always good advice. I don't see any situation where this might not apply. Beenkilled: You should build a coaching/therapy business of sorts. Anytime somebody comes to you with a problem or dilemma, no matter what kind, and what the exact details are: You tell them this. You'll retire a millionaire and change thousands of lives for the better!
deathandtaxes Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Have you point-blank asked her out on a date?? Ie "I'd like to take you out Wednesday night. I know this great place. Do you want to go?" Until then, you'll make yourself stupid with worry.
Criticality Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) I usually do tell everyone with two ears this Because I haven't ran across a situation where it doesn't apply. Work: You work like a dog the boss treats you like s/h/I/t, so one day you get a job offer and suddenly...you are such a valued employee they want so bad to keep..... they even give you a raise. Unless you were a ****ty employee then they tell you don't let the door hit you in your arse! Relationships: Same thing. Spouse / SO treats you like dirt....one day you say fine I'm DONE - then suddenly they can't stand to see you go..they want so bad to fix the relationship Works for me. why? Because I don't care! LOL! That is so true! I I think back on all the girls I've been with, you know when they were the most in love with me and everything was great? You guessed it... When I cared the least! (Which also answers the age old question: Why do nice guys finish last, and why do girls go for bad guys? PREACH BROTHER! PREACH! TELL EM! Edited October 14, 2013 by Criticality
nescafe1982 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 That is so true! I I think back on all the girls I've been with, you know when they were the most in love with me and everything was great? You guessed it... When I cared the least! That's terrible! I mean, if "winning" is your goal in a relationship then your strategy is tops. But this kind of "winning" is a negative and destructive force in the medium-to-long term. You will be an unfulfilling partner with such an attitude. Yeah, you get the girl... but you certainly won't keep her long.
nescafe1982 Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 In a nutshell.... Met a woman we made out, talked until the sun came up. Took her home. She left her stuff in my car. She is sorta distant now after 2 weeks. We still talk over text. But here's the thing.... She'll text me back like normal but when I ask when she wants her stuff back she never answers the question. The only time she talked about it was when I said the next day "you left your stuff in my car. Her reply was" well you'll know your going to see me again". I'm not sure if she met someone or not. But did she leave it with me on purpose in case something doesn't work out? Really want to be with her. She's someone I've always wanted to have a relationship with. OP, sounds like you have an extra power cord. If you've tried to ask her out again (have you?) and she declined, and then she was vague about getting hr stuff back, then the ball couldn't be any more in her court right now. I would put the power cord somewhere and then throw it away if you don't hear back after another couple weeks.
fishtaco Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Over thinking it. Beenkilled is right in this situation. If she'll come back, she will. If she won't, she won't. Time for you to go out and get a few more dates, and have a few more women "accidentally" leave their things in your car. At this early in the game, NEVER wait for anyone. However, the big picture, I don't agree with Beenkilled. You don't really win when you end up with a chick that's all over you but you don't really care about her. But during the "dating" phase when things are casual, he's absolutely right - don't care.
Divasu Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Really want to be with her. She's someone I've always wanted to have a relationship with. Two weeks with no demonstration on your part to see her again in two weeks since the make-out, yes, we can totally see that. 2
Criticality Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I guess "winning" isn't really the right word to use. It's more about not having the insecurities and fears (negatives) that hurt yourself. I "care" about my marriage and I love my H, however....I'm not afraid of losing him or of walking away if need be. Does that make sense? I wear my big girl panties and we live a happy life...I'm a great wife just ask my H. "The best wife in the world" I think the attitude looks more like this: The marriage is not a prison cell..the door here is open, anytime you think you might be happier elsewhere or if you get the grass is greener bug - you are free to leave. I can live my life happily with or without you. It's not a negative. Whaa? You're a woman?!? But... But... Tell me, how could we spread you revolutionary rationality and attitudes among your kind? And obviously you're right... With cheating for example, there is no way to ever be sure or prove that your spouse isn't cheating. So why worry about it constantly like some people do? All that placing tape recorders in a car will do (besides possibly wrecking your marriage) is prove that nothing happened in her car. Maybe they did it in his car! Don't do what you do for your spouse because you're worried they'll leave. Do it cause you genuinely care and live the person. 1
nescafe1982 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I guess "winning" isn't really the right word to use. It's more about not having the insecurities and fears (negatives) that hurt yourself. I "care" about my marriage and I love my H, however....I'm not afraid of losing him or of walking away if need be. Does that make sense? I wear my big girl panties and we live a happy life...I'm a great wife just ask my H. "The best wife in the world" I think the attitude looks more like this: The marriage is not a prison cell..the door here is open, anytime you think you might be happier elsewhere or if you get the grass is greener bug - you are free to leave. I can live my life happily with or without you. It's not a negative. Thanks for clarifying... that sounds light-years away from "not caring," though. The post looked like you were advising OP to approach dating without caring about the other party... I was all whaaaaa? Being assertive is generally a good thing. Being confident is also a good thing. But I also thinking caring and being invested in a relationship is also a great thing. And agreed with Criticality that relationships shalt not be conducted from a place of fear (even fear of the other party leaving).
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