n1BB1t Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 It has been since a week I had no contact with mm. We are co worker and he is just sitting right behind me. I had been skipping jobs because it's too pain to see him in office. So far last week only able to attend two days at work. But at that two day, I had been crying on and off and non stop during lunch. Cause we had been lunching together nearly two years. Furthermore I heard him asking others for lunch or overheard that he bought some new games on our d day I broke down. He chat with our whole team except me. This hurt me most where he is totally not being affected:( When I am at home, I am feeling calmer as in I don't cried as much as in office. The day before work, I woke up with anxiety attack thinking that I had to see him tomorrow. I was so scared and stress up to handle his rejection. I keep waking up a few times in the middle of the night. Many advice me to avoid him but I tried but can't both of us had to work with our own project team with others. Having going to work enable me to hear what happen to him recently how happy he is.Mm is committed to make this no contact work so he would not approach me anymore. He is ego and stubborn. He totally have no eye contact with me. Not sure is guilt or don't even want to bother me at all. Question: Am I avoiding the pain by not going to work ? I feel that I could cope better when no need to face him. I am totally broke down in office, cannot focus to work. It's really bad. How should I survive from now onwards ? I'm at a loss but can't skip work too much
thompkevin Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Is it possible for you to ask your boss to change your team or assign you to another project? If so, do it as soon as possible. If not, then you have to learn to go to work and continue with the no contact. One more important thing that you must do is make some positive changes in your life. Try to have a social life outside work. Or maybe start going to the gym or something. Do anything that will make a positive change in your life. It will give you a tremendous boost and will help you a lot. Read this article (The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need To Know About It) it might help.
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Start looking for another job if your boss can't transfer you to another area or department. Otherwise, you're going to have to learn how to cope dealing with him while at work.
KathyM Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Time to look for another job. Working right next to him is going to be torture, and you are not going to be able to do your job well or function at work while sitting next to him.
Author n1BB1t Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 I know I had to cope with it but I just don't know how. Everyone just telling me ignore him, let it go, you would feel better later on. But now each and everyday to me is like hell but I know clearly that I need my job and I am the breadwinner. I just got promoted and the salary is most well-paid than outside. Thats why I did not stayed just because of him but my future. Any advice ? Start looking for another job if your boss can't transfer you to another area or department. Otherwise, you're going to have to learn how to cope dealing with him while at work.
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