bones1 Posted December 6, 2004 Posted December 6, 2004 I have been dating a girl for 6 months. Near the beginning, or for about 5 months, we had sex all the time, several times a day, whenever possible. Now, for the past month or so,I am just not as into it. I still care deeply for my girlfriend, and do not want anyone else. But, i feel my girlfriend is very needy of affection, and she takes this very personally. She always brings it up, criticizes me, questions me about infidelity, and always gets very upset if we dont have sex. We still have sex about 3 times a week, but just not as much as we used to. I honestly dont know exactly why i do not have as much interest. But i do know I Hate how she carries on if we dont have sex, as if the world is about to end. I think this is part of my loss in desire. In a way, i like to be the initiator, and dont like her to be all over me, and then mean and critical if i tell her i am not in the mood. So, has this happened to anyone else? Maybe this is happening because we are reaching a new level in the relationship. Maybe because I enjoy the role of initiator much more. Or maybe because i dont want to feel as if I am having sex with her, to keep her from being mad at me. Right now, I am not sure.... But has anyone else went through this?
kellydontwanttasleep Posted December 6, 2004 Posted December 6, 2004 tell her how your feelin and be very clear. talk about it. you need to tell her turns you on and what turns you off.
johan Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 I know how it feels. My girlfriend was pretty agressive when we first started going out. It was kind of a turn-off. It didn't bother me that she wanted to have sex, it was just her attitude about it. Like she was on some kind of mission. Her reaction to me being turned off made it even worse. I actually wondered what was wrong with me that I was more turned off than on by her, because she's hot/cute/sexy/smart/funny/and everything else. I was just her attitude. The tables turned though. Now I want it all the time, and she's busy and sort of conditioned to the idea that I'm "not that into sex". Damn it.
SeaGenie Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 I'm the same way - my boyfriend pesters the hell out of me for sex and this just turns me off. He's always pawing all over me and saying "Are you gonna give me some?". This just grosses me out for some reason and I've lost my desire for him. He's always too touchy-feely and I find myself coming up with excuses to not see him because I get so sick of the minute we see each other he sticks his tongue down my throat and gropes all over me. I hate being smothered and like the thrill of anticipation and courtship. I think it's a turnoff when your partner is demanding and expecting sex all the time. I like sex but I hate someone telling me "We haven't had sex in over three days now when are we gonna do it again?". Puh-leeeeese......back off and let it happen spontaneously.
avsguy01 Posted December 7, 2004 Posted December 7, 2004 Tell her that there are phases in the amount of sex that occurs throughout relationships. There will be times that you want it more and she doesnt. Me and my girlfriend had this dicussion. I was wanting it alot and she had been stressed and didnt have the urge as much. So she told me about how there will be phases. Now she seems to have gotten really horny over the past week or so and now seems like she is going to be wanting it quite alot. The funny thing is that i am doing quite fine since weve had this talk and ive been alot more laid back in the sense of how much we have sex.
kellydontwanttasleep Posted December 8, 2004 Posted December 8, 2004 one day you'll be miss this attention
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