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Issues. Love without attraction. Should I leave her?

rproblems

By rproblems
in General Relationship Discussion

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Sanman Established Member

Sanman

Posted
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Reading this thread, I am not a fan of all the judgement. The truth is that this happens all the time and people often do not want to admit it, even to themselves. Having sex with the same person for years can get boring and looks fade after a while with all people. Before you work up the courage to break up with her, sit down and do some thinking. What is the problem... Are you getting bored with your sec life or have you never been attracted to her? Can the issue be fixed if you talk to her about it? Maybe spicing things up us in order. I know my gf of 2.5 yrs and I both started to get lazy. We both gained a few lbs and neither of us dress up quite as much as we used to. We were both honest and are working to bring those things back into our relationship. The other thing to consider is that everyone loses their lols and appeal, are you going to break up with the next woman when your attraction starts to wane or stick it out? Either way, do some soul searching and think about having an honest conversation with her. Maybe she had a different perspective of the situation that you do not.

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kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

Posted
Posted
Reading this thread, I am not a fan of all the judgement. The truth is that this happens all the time and people often do not want to admit it, even to themselves. Having sex with the same person for years can get boring and looks fade after a while with all people. Before you work up the courage to break up with her, sit down and do some thinking. What is the problem... Are you getting bored with your sec life or have you never been attracted to her? Can the issue be fixed if you talk to her about it? Maybe spicing things up us in order. I know my gf of 2.5 yrs and I both started to get lazy. We both gained a few lbs and neither of us dress up quite as much as we used to. We were both honest and are working to bring those things back into our relationship. The other thing to consider is that everyone loses their lols and appeal, are you going to break up with the next woman when your attraction starts to wane or stick it out? Either way, do some soul searching and think about having an honest conversation with her. Maybe she had a different perspective of the situation that you do not.

 

But the OP admits that nothing has changed. No one has gained weight, nor has he simply gotten bored...he was never attracted to her in the first place.

 

That makes this a special circumstance.

Sanman Established Member

Sanman

Posted
Posted
But the OP admits that nothing has changed. No one has gained weight, nor has he simply gotten bored...he was never attracted to her in the first place.

 

That makes this a special circumstance.

 

Well, something has changed. It may not be her weight, but he does say he was attracted to her at one time. I'm not sure hasn't simply gotten bored. From his posts, he has never been in a relationship this long.

kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

Posted
Posted
Well, something has changed. It may not be her weight, but he does say he was attracted to her at one time. I'm not sure hasn't simply gotten bored. From his posts, he has never been in a relationship this long.

 

He didn't really...he said he was hoping he would grow to be attracted to her. Which is just...weird.

 

From your response i can tell you didnt read the full post. I didn't lead her on. I was hoping that I would mature and find that me finding her personality attractive would lead to me finding her physical being attractive. That didn't happen, this is why I am at a crossroads. A more important flaw in your response is that it isn't I that doesn't want to be alone; I am perfectly fine with that. It's that I don't want HER to be alone.
  • 2 weeks later...
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rproblems Member

rproblems

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He didn't really...he said he was hoping he would grow to be attracted to her. Which is just...weird.

How is that weird? So many people are sexually attracted to another because of their intellect or personality. Why would it be weird to think that, over time, that might be the case with me?

TintedChrome Member

TintedChrome

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Wow. I'm in a very similar situation. Except I'm in my 40s and starting to show my age. I'm curious how this all turns out.

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

Posted
Posted
How is that weird? So many people are sexually attracted to another because of their intellect or personality. Why would it be weird to think that, over time, that might be the case with me?

 

I suppose it's only weird because you know your physical type so well.

 

I don't find it that odd, but I don't have a type. It's a whole-package deal, and everything ends up going into the mixer.

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