veryconfusedandsad Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 well , i found out my wife has been having and EA for around 6 months and for the last month a PA also. we have two kids from her PM and one from us. the OM is a guy she has known since she was 15 and has always claimed she and he have had a thing for each other since day one. 6 years ago her mother apparently called him to ask him to get back into her life as she was unhappy with me and her marriage. ( this was all unbeknowst to me at the time). so he was introduced to me and we all had drinks and were having a good time. well i went to the store and while i was gone they started romantically kissing the other friend was there and told me the next week. i was concerned but told my wife that because of the blatent disrespect i couldnt allow her to remain active friends with him for now. well, she continued to cut his hair at her salon without telling me so he has always been there in the background. he had stated he has always loved her since he was 15. yes they had sex many years ago. now 6 years later she has been lying to me about talking with him and for months now she has ED from me and everything i did was wrong. the sex went away and the other day she went on a wine tasting trip with " the girls" which was a rooz to spend the weekend with him she came home and told me she had sex with him all weekend and that we were over. so now i am really confused as to what i should do. we were supposed to work out whatever provblems we ever had because i moved form Ga. to canada and left my family for hers and now im stuck in a place without family and not sure what to do because we have kids and it scares me to deathe to think about my kids not around me. is she going through a midlife crisis is this relationship[ going to last? she is pursuing this because she donesnt think i will change? and she says she doesnt want to lose him? any advice? i know this is all confusing but if need be i can ellaborate more.
TigerCub Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry for what you've gone through op. I don't get some things... 1) you said that she had an EA with him and only in the last year it became physical...but then you go on to describe how she was romantically kissing him when u went out to get more drinks 6 years ago - do you not consider that physically cheating? 2) After you find out about the kiss you tell her that it would be best for her not to see him 'for now' - do you not realize that by doing that, it's almost like you're making a suggestion instead of telling her that what she did is unacceptable and that she needs to work on earning your trust or the marriage is over. It just seems like you were so meek in how you dealt with it - of course she didn't take it seriously. 3) You mention how she got ED from you - I don't get what that means. Are you trying to say that you had erectile dysfunction? Even if you did - that doesn't excuse her cheating. I think you need to talk to a good lawyer. Edited October 14, 2013 by TigerCub
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 It sounds like she's been cheating on you for a long time and that her family and friends support and encourage it. Yes, you need a very good lawyer and, possibly, a private investigator too. Are you sure your child is actually yours (beyond the fact that you may look similar)? 1
harrybrown Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 File for divorce. She may wake up, she may not. If she does not, you need her out of your life.
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