theoption Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Hi y'all - Long time reader. First time poster. Starting not to sleep well and just need to vent. Advice appreciated. A little background: I have been in a relationship with my MM going on two years. It started as an EA and then turned physical. I know it's a cliche, but our relationship progressed just as any normal relationship would - which is ridiculous since its the farthest thing from normal. Just as many of you have experienced, this man has promised me the world. However, I'm starting to see many of those promises will never come to fruition. I was gone for two and a half months over the summer because of an awesome job opportunity. I truly thought that because I was gone for so long he would eventually just stop talking to me since I wasn't there. I've always wanted to be more than the OW, but never truly thought him leaving was a possibility until this summer. We Skyped everyday, and his promises of our future became stronger. Since I've returned, it just hasn't been the same. He hasn't made mention of it, and we both avoid talking about it. I guess my issue is I'm just at a point where I need more. I'm tired of making what we have work between the hours of 8 and 5, maybe a 15 minute visit here and there if he has to run an "errand." I love this man with everything I am, and when I picture my future I see him in it, but this is such an unhealthy relationship. I just can't keep being his option. It's starting to take a toll on my self esteem, thus affecting everything I do. I've even gained weight because I look to food for comfort. Sorry for venting, but if you've had a similar experience, how did you go about getting out of it? I know if he's going to leave he needs to leave for him and do his own thing for a while, but should I sit down and discuss our future with him?
crederer Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Realistically he's not going to leave for any reason. I'd simply break up with him the same way you would any one else. See you later, enjoy your relationship with your wife, and then don't contact him and don't answer or allow him to contact you. Then find a single person who wont have to put you second, or third, or fourth or wherever it may be in your pecking order.
nytgirl Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 What is the status of his marriage? Is he making no plans to leave her?
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